Askthepizzaguy Mafia [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Askthepizzaguy Mafia

Papa Gino's pizzeria. August 6th, 1983.



End of Day Four



Michael tossed his ante into the pile along with all the others. This time, he watched as the betting escalated out of control. Either he was going to become a very rich man today, or his sons would fail him again.

Michael: All right.... let's go around the table. What do you got?

civplayah: Pair of jacks.

Double A: Two aces, of course.

ArpeggiateTHIS: Oh yeah? How about THIS: two pair... queens and sevens.

Crazed Rabbit: Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late! All I have is the king and queen of hearts!

Cultured Drizzt Fan: Three sixes.

Diana Abnoba: Two pair, fours and deuces.

Beskar: It's time for the long pants. I'd wager that Greyblades isn't even a gambler, but someone who is working for Michael and rigging the game. I have a straight, but I'd bet anything that I'll get beaten this time, because he's probably got a flush or something. So let's see your cards, cheater boy.

Greyblades: It's not wise to accuse a man of cheating, Beskar. Things could get awfully violent, so take my advice: Sit down and shaddap.

Beskar: You don't frighten me, fool! I'm calling you out! Show the cards! If you've got a flush or better, then so help me, I will kill you. I know you do.

Greyblades: That does it. Prepare to die, Beskar.

Greyblades leaps over the table and tackles Beskar, and then punches him in the face. They tumble around on the floor and Beskar swings back, knocking him in the jaw and laying him out on the floor. He jumps on top and begins to strangle Greyblades, who reaches up and jabs a thumb in Beskar's eye. They continue to tussle while Michael checks Greyblades' cards.

Michael: Well, he's got a flush, for sure. Looks like you lose, Beskar.

Beskar: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! You're a God-danged CHEATER, you slimy little worm! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!!!

Michael: Actually, my friend, you just lost the money you were supposed to pay me today, so..... I'll kill you.

*Michael pointed the gun at Beskar, who tried to get out of the way, and opened fire, shooting him directly in the chest. The bullets impacted him all over his body, and he was pushed back against the wall. Michael laughed maniacally as he continued firing, until he was satisfied. Beskar fell to the floor with many dozens of bullet wounds, and died instantly.*

Greyblades: I did it! I can't believe I won.

Michael: Oh no.... I am afraid it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things. It was I who managed to fill another straight flush. I'm afraid that the chips you wagered will be lost. And since you bet everything you had, I'm afraid I'm going to have to collect some other way.

Greyblades: No! Wait! I can still pay.... do you accept personal checks?

*Michael pointed the gun at Greyblades, who tried to get out of the way, and opened fire, shooting him directly in the chest. The bullets impacted him all over his body, and he was pushed back against the wall. Michael laughed maniacally as he continued firing, until he was satisfied. Greyblades fell to the floor with many dozens of bullet wounds, and died instantly.*

Michael: I'm afraid the answer is no.


*Michael addresses the other gamblers*


And I want to thank the rest of you gentlemen for a lovely evening, and all the money you've donated to Papa Gino's Save The Scumbags foundation. I promise that not one dime will go to waste. Now I'm going to give you to the count of three to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keisters off of my property, before I pump your guts full of lead. And if you don't have my money soon, you're going to end up just like Whiskers and Switchblade over here.

This is your last warning. Don't come back here without my money, capisce?

Tally

Beskar: 166 (5, Diana) (89-ALL IN, Grey) (20, CDF) (29, CR) (22 Arpeg) (1 Double A)
Greyblades: 78 (63, Beskar) (15, civplayah)

Not wagering: (1, Split)

Slices remaining: (7/17)

ArpeggiateTHIS
civplayah
Crazed Rabbit
Cultured Drizzt Fan
Diana Abnoba
Double A
Splitpersonality



Sleeping with the fishes: (10/17)

Jolt- Anthony "Tony" Valerio (MAFIA)
Secura- Professional gambler
Seon- Professional gambler
Skooma Addict- Professional gambler
Johnhughthom- Professional gambler
Romanic- Professional gambler
Pinman- Professional gambler
Sasaki Kojiro- Professional gambler
Beskar- Professional gambler
Greyblades- Professional gambler

NOTICE:

Because Beskar was innocent, everyone who placed a bet lost their money. Everyone who didn't place a bet before the deadline lost 1 credit. Greyblades bet it all, so he's dead.


Night Four begins now. Round ends Sunday, August 15th, at 1159 (noon) Eastern Time USA. This gives everyone 22 hours to send in night actions if they so choose.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Also, for the record, don't bet "All-in" because that hides how much you're actually betting. Mark down how much you bet, even if it is all of it. I should have put that in the rules beforehand.

[Greyblades]

Um... Sorry beskar.

[Beskar]

Double A and Diana

[Sasaki Kojiro]

WE'RE GETTING OUR ASS WHOOPED, WHY, IT STARTED SO WELL

[Beskar]

Because a bunch of people suicide and don't know how to place bets.

Those who killed me should have bet 80, tops. Not double that, it was a meaningless waste of credits.

Also, please stop using these arguments:
"Only Beskar would have killed Diana Abnoba!" (Khaan's game)
"Only Beskar would have killed Secura!" (This game)

They are never correct and if anything, they are contrary and the opposite of my current mafia track record.

[Romanic]

Post Count:

48 Sasaki Kojiro - Townie
35 Romanic - Townie
30 Beskar - Townie
19 Greyblades - Townie
19 Skooma Addict - Townie
18 Jolt - MAFIA
16 ArpeggiateTHIS - still alive
16 Crazed Rabbit - still alive
12 civplayah - still alive
9 Double A - still alive
9 Seon - Townie
8 Diana - still alive
7 Secura - Townie
6 Split - still alive
6 CDF - still alive
4 Pinman - Townie
3 johnhughthom - Townie

***

I like how the mafia hide in their hole instead of putting up a real fight. Lurking as a strategy, what a shame!

[Greyblades]

I bet all in so that the town would not waste a turn killing me if he was innocent, he was and now your not going to waste a turn on me. So yeah.

[Beskar]

I like how the mafia hide in their hole instead of putting up a real fight. Lurking as a strategy, what a shame!

As I said in the 'strategy' thread ATPG made, we should systemically target lurkers, both as townies and mafia.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

splits lurking is kind of nasty.

[Jolt]

As I said in the 'strategy' thread ATPG made, we should systemically target lurkers, both as townies and mafia.

That was how I caught two of the Pompeian Legates in Rubicon. I was seeing the investigations lead nowhere until I remembered I hated lurkers and investigated them, leading me to the Legates (Atheotes and someone else)

[ArpeggiateTHIS]

splits lurking is kind of nasty.

That's amusing, since I voted for him (and pointed this out) twice after you fos'd him in the first round and nobody took notice. If you're right, it means you'd have singled out two scummy characters on the first day and would be eligible for much kudos.

I'd be more interested in going after Double A though, especially given that pathetic RL excuse last round.

[Romanic]

That's amusing, since I voted for him (and pointed this out) twice after you fos'd him in the first round and nobody took notice. If you're right, it means you'd have singled out two scummy characters on the first day and would be eligible for much kudos.

I'd be more interested in going after Double A though, especially given that pathetic RL excuse last round.

This post is so scummy that my scum radar exploded when I read it. What message are you trying to convey Arpeg?

1- You jumped on the opportunity to point out that you voted twice for Split. That behavior alone is scummy. A townie is not as much interested as a mafia to point out how townie they look. In this case, Sasaki did not even say he thought Split was mafia, he said: "splits lurking is kind of nasty", but yet you still point it out like it means something that you voted for Split twice.

2- You congratulated Sasaki on a job well done. Another scummy behavior! Mafia likes to do this because it sends a hidden message: Good job man! (I'm on your team! ). And we're not even sure Sasaski deserves it yet. You know that, you said "If..." but yet you praise Sasaki.

3- Then you say that you would rather go after Double A??? Hey! You pointed out that you voted twice for Split and applaud Sasaki for possibly naming 2 mafia on Day 1. How can you not be voting for Split?

I think we left you off the hook too quickly.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

I think we left you off the hook too quickly.

I was thinking that his attack on me was too tactically poor for mafia, but maybe he just had his back in the corner and was a bit desperate. I say we lynch him tomorrow.

[ArpeggiateTHIS]

This post is so scummy that my scum radar exploded when I read it. What message are you trying to convey Arpeg?

1- You jumped on the opportunity to point out that you voted twice for Split. That behavior alone is scummy. A townie is not as much interested as a mafia to point out how townie they look. In this case, Sasaki did not even say he thought Split was mafia, he said: "splits lurking is kind of nasty", but yet you still point it out like it means something that you voted for Split twice.

2- You congratulated Sasaki on a job well done. Another scummy behavior! Mafia likes to do this because it sends a hidden message: Good job man! (I'm on your team! ). And we're not even sure Sasaski deserves it yet. You know that, you said "If..." but yet you praise Sasaki.

3- Then you say that you would rather go after Double A??? Hey! You pointed out that you voted twice for Split and applaud Sasaki for possibly naming 2 mafia on Day 1. How can you not be voting for Split?

I think we left you off the hook too quickly.

I'm trying to convey the message that I think Split and AA are scumbags.

1. I'll admit that I was pleased that somebody finally saw in Split what I've seen for two rounds.

2. What use is being on Sasaki's team. If I recall, Sasaki has no chips and is dead.

3. Finished typing out one part of a post and remembered another thing I was meant to say.

I was just trying to put forward my views on what should happen the next round.

[Romanic]

1. I'll admit that I was pleased that somebody finally saw in Split what I've seen for two rounds.

`
What YOU have seen for 2 rounds? Excuse me but didn't you previously say that you were following Sasaki on this matter?

Your post #138:

I guess I should defer to Sasaki's scumdar in future. Didn't he say that Split was scummy?

Wager 5: Splitpersonality.

Could you elaborate, Sasaki?

And now you reversing the situation, you thought about it first?

Keep digging.

2. What use is being on Sasaki's team. If I recall, Sasaki has no chips and is dead.

The answer to this should be obvious: Sasaki is a townie.

[Skooma Addict]

That's amusing, since I voted for him (and pointed this out) twice after you fos'd him in the first round and nobody took notice. If you're right, it means you'd have singled out two scummy characters on the first day and would be eligible for much kudos.

I'd be more interested in going after Double A though, especially given that pathetic RL excuse last round.

Splits been acting scummy this whole game. However, Double A has been rather inactive in other games as well so I'm not sure if his inactivity is a clear indicator of guilt or not in this case.

[Askthepizzaguy]

My apologies for the delay. I just woke up and need to get my bearings before I do anything.

I'll give you an extension on time for the upcoming round, so don't worry.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Askthepizzaguy Mafia

Papa Gino's pizzeria. August 6th, 1983.



Night Four



Crazed Rabbit was disturbed by the recent events down at Papa Gino's. He tried to calm his nerves by smoking a strange cigarette, as he walked along the train tracks leading back to his apartment on the south side. This wasn't the first of such strange cigarettes that he had been smoking.... his nerves were really, really fried. Consequently, the walk home seemed more.... colorful than usual. He started seeing odd things.... like an animated white rabbit running by in clothes. He had the sensation that he was falling, and could see a door up ahead that he just couldn't get through. He reached in his pocket and found little heart-shaped candies that said "eat me". And in his other pocket was a bottle of Jack Daniel's, that said "drink me". Given how absolutely nasty and chalky those stupid candies tasted, and how desperately he needed a drink, he grabbed the bottle of Jack and downed it pretty quickly, and then stumbled through the door. It began to rain, and suddenly Crazed Rabbit had the feeling of being followed.

Crazed Rabbit: "Who's there? Is that you, dormouse?"

The figure behind him was wearing a large brown and red hunter's hat, and brown camouflage, and wielding a big shotgun.

Unknown: "No, it's not the dormouse I'm afwaid. But soon you'll be dead as a door nail...."

Crazed Rabbit turned to run, but he noticed that his feet were much larger than usual. He couldn't run like he used to, so instead he began to hop as fast as he could, down the tracks and into an abandoned freight yard. He heard the sound of a shotgun being fired, and scurried behind a large freight container. That's when he met a giant hookah-smoking caterpillar, who was wearing three different coats and was pushing a shopping cart filled with cans and newspapers and rotting food. The friendly caterpillar offered Crazed Rabbit some of his hookah, and Crazed Rabbit obliged. He began to cough, and then asked the hobo caterpillar...

Crazed Rabbit: "Who.... ARE.... you???"

But instead of talking normally, the smoke escaped from his mouth and formed big colorful letters, spelling out exactly what he just said. To which the caterpillar responded:

Hookah-smoking caterpillar: "My name is Frank. Hey mister, got any spare change?"

The sound of the shotgun alerted Crazed Rabbit that it was time to keep moving. He exited the freight yard and hopped across a busy street to get to what appeared to be a convenience store. It was there that he saw a gigantic cat behind the counter with a big grin on his face.

Crazed Rabbit: "Mister, mister, I'm lost and I need help!"

It was at this point that the Cheshire Cat grinned even wider and said:

Cheshire Cat: "I have maps only $12.95 apiece also there's jerky on sale 5 bags for only 40 dollars I accept all major credit cards except Discover would you like paper or plastic sir I am afraid your card has been declined do you have any cash well it looks like you're quite a few dollars short if you want you can pay for the map and come back later for the jerky no sir I cannot break a fifty that is far too much money but if you wish you can buy just the jerky and come back for the map here you go please watch your step on the way out and thank you very much sir here is your receipt and your merchandise thank you come again!"

So Crazed Rabbit stumbled out of the 7-Eleven with an arm full of jerky. Then he realized that he didn't even like jerky, he'd much rather have a head of lettuce to munch on. He saw the man with the shotgun crossing the street, so he dumped the jerky on the ground and hopped off in a panic. At this point, the entire city looked very.... colorful.... and magical. He turned the corner and hopped down the street, nearly getting hit by a car, and found himself in the middle of the road. For some reason, there was a table in the middle of this busy avenue, and sitting at the table was the March Hare and the sleeping dormouse. There was a short man wearing a very tall hat with the number 10/6 on the side of it.

Mad Hatter: Come, you must have a spot of tea, perhaps half a cup, and come celebrate my UN-birthday! SWITCH PLACES!!!

Crazed Rabbit didn't bother with these weirdos and hopped even further down the street to the Dairy Queen, where he ordered a large vanilla cone with lots of sprinkles.

Crazed Rabbit: Oh, if it's not too much trouble, could I have more sprinkles than that on my ice cream?

Hearing this, the manager of the Dairy Queen turned around, her face flush and red, and bellowed at the top of her lungs-

Dairy Queen: YOUR ice cream? No, it's MY ice cream! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

The Dairy Queen lifted a gigantic axe and hopped over the counter and began chasing Crazed Rabbit down the street. Crazed Rabbit hopped furiously, hoping to get away. He turned the corner and saw the Hunter approaching, shotgun raised. Crazed Rabbit ducked just in time. The Dairy Queen turned the corner and was about to decapitate Rabbit, but she was shot dead by the hunter and began to bleed playing cards. Then the Hunter pointed the shotgun directly at Crazed Rabbit.

Crazed Rabbit: Okay, I'm officially freaked out now.

Unknown: SHHHHH..... be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.

Crazed Rabbit: I think I saw a rabbit.... or a hare... or something, having a half a cup of tea on 33rd street, with a dude in a hat.

Unknown: Well hold on just a second. I'm not looking for a hare, I'm looking for a wabbit. A deadbeat wabbit who owes the boss a lot of money. As a matter of fact, YOU look just like the wabbit I'm looking for.

Crazed Rabbit: *sheepishly* Yeah..... what's up doc?

Unknown: You wascally wabbit! You tried to twick me. Well it's time to make some wabbit stew. Huh-huh-huh-huh.....

Crazed Rabbit: Hold on just a second.... if I could make one last request?

Unknown: You've got ten seconds, wabbit.

Crazed Rabbit: I might as well try these heart-shaped candies.... they've been in my pocket this whole time. Consider it my last meal.

Unknown: Make it snappy.

Crazed Rabbit grabbed the pastel-colored Valentine's Day candies that had been in his pocket for 6 months, the ones that said "eat me", and shoved them all in his mouth at once. Maybe they wouldn't be so bad.

Crazed Rabbit: Oh my god, these candies are SO AWFUL!!! They are the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted! They taste like chalkboard erasers mixed with shoe rubber! WHO WOULD EAT THESE THINGS???? WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY GOOD MONEY FOR THESE CANDIES??? I'd rather chew up some razorblades and then gargle battery acid! They just made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.... I.... urk! MMMPPPHHH *gurgle* *cough* *cough*

Crazed Rabbit fell to the pavement, having choked to death on the chalk-flavored candies.

Vincenzo:

Slices remaining: (6/17)

ArpeggiateTHIS
civplayah
Cultured Drizzt Fan
Diana Abnoba
Double A
Splitpersonality

Sleeping with the fishes: (11/17)

Jolt- Anthony "Tony" Valerio (MAFIA)
Secura- Professional gambler
Seon- Professional gambler
Skooma Addict- Professional gambler
Johnhughthom- Professional gambler
Romanic- Professional gambler
Pinman- Professional gambler
Sasaki Kojiro- Professional gambler
Beskar- Professional gambler
Greyblades- Professional gambler
Crazed Rabbit- Professional gambler

Day Five begins now. Round ends Tuesday, August 17th, at 1759 (6PM) Eastern Time USA. This gives everyone approximately 47+ hours to post and vote.

[Diana Abnoba]

Your funniest write up yet Pizza!! Loved it!

[Jolt]

Bestest write-up I ever read. I lol'd til tears came out of my eyes.

[Askthepizzaguy]

About 27 hours remain, and no votes.

[Beskar]

Diana is mafia, as she would have respected Secura's wishes and killed her.

As an attempt to frame me which she did do.

[Diana Abnoba]

No Beskar, wrong again! I didn't know she wanted to die early if she wasn't mafia. Only found this out after YOU put it in thread. But thanks for thinking I could be so devious.

Well I guess someone has to vote 1st, I will, to get this going.

Wager 5: ArpeggiateTHIS

[Sasaki Kojiro]

This is lynch or lose. hmm, I don't know if having just one lynch works in our favor here. If we lynch two and get 1 maf, 1 town, then the mafia kill a town, and we have a 3 player endgame with one mafia.

We should get a tally of how many chips everyone has left.

In this situation the mafia can screw us over pretty bad with a late switch. But if we bet heavy, and they have a bunch of chips left for the 3 player phase, they still win. So we have to make sure that everyone bets pretty heavy, and that at least one suspect suicide lynches.

I suppose we could do away with diana and arpeg today? Diana is very scummy. I don't know about civ and cdf though.

[Cultured Drizzt fan]

Sorry, about the lurkyness.

Wager 5: Diana

[Beskar]

No Beskar, wrong again! I didn't know she wanted to die early if she wasn't mafia. Only found this out after YOU put it in thread. But thanks for thinking I could be so devious.

Well I guess someone has to vote 1st, I will, to get this going.

Wager 5: ArpeggiateTHIS

She said it earlier, then you accused me of that argument to get me lynched off.

[Diana Abnoba]

She did, sorry I don't remember that, I just remember you saying that earlier, so I thought that you found out from a pm or IM when talking to Secura.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

lol, congrats mafia.

If you are town you need to go "all but one in" on your top suspect. Otherwise the mafia will simply outbid you.

[ArpeggiateTHIS]

Wager 5: Diana

Pure scum to come out of hiding when her name is mentioned.