V&V Stories Thread

[phonicsmonkey]

Prinz Leopold sat hunched over the map table, his head resting on one hand while the index finger of the other hand traced ever decreasing circles around the city of Budapest. Gustav of Melk, brother of Ernst and now chief advisor to the Prinz, shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He had been standing, in silence, for some time now. Eventually he summoned up the courage to clear his throat. The Prinz looked up, his reverie broken.

What we need, Gustav old boy, is a pair of eyes.

Gustav was lost for a moment.

Hungarian eyes Sir? he ventured.

Hungarian, Austrian, Bavarian, French even! What matters is not the origin of the eyes but their placement. In Budapest, that's where I want them..and further afield. It still pains, nay sickens me to think that we had that city in our grasp and were forced to retreat for lack of intelligence. I will not be caught unawares like that again.

Those ruddy-skinned horselovers will feel my mailed fist atop their over-large heads once more and this time it shall not be removed!

Gustav warmed to this theme. Indeed sir! We shall smite them anew!

The Prinz scowled. Do stop it with the sychophantism Gustav and grow a pair like your good brother Ernst. The problem is that nowhere in the Empire do we have a sufficiently adept pair of eyes to give me a view on Hungary. I have checked with Becker - he doth not exaggerate in his report to the Diet. There is simply no-one in our employ with the necessary skills.

Where shall we find our eyes Gustav?

He thought for a moment. Well sir, such characters are often to be found in ale-houses and in...establishments of adult entertainment, if you follow.

The Prinz grinned his wolfish grin. Indeed I do follow good man, in fact in some situations I could be said to lead in such matters. You there! This to the captain of the guard unit on duty in the map room. Ready your men for an expedition! I wish you to plumb the very depths of Wien in search of a pair of eyes for a mission to Budapest. Leave no stone unturned!

The guard captain looked ecstatic at the prospect. His men, by their stupid grins, gave every indication that they would attack the mission with relish. Gustav frowned.

My liege, it strikes me that such an approach might only be successful at great...expense. Perhaps a more logical route might be to attempt to narrow the task somewhat?

The Prinz looked puzzled. Eh?

Gustav continued. Sir there are several such establishments in the city precinct. Even though I am sure the good Captain and his men will conduct themselves with great....efficiency and focus in touring their premises, perhaps 'twould be a better option to explore another possibility. As you know the clergy of Wien have for some time complained at the proliferation of such...facilities..in and around the city center.

The Prinz scowled. Bloody nimbys, can't stand 'em.

Gustav pressed on. One suggestion which has been made is to clear out those premises in and around the town square and instead contruct one large facility on the edge of the slum district. Centralizing the...trade...as it were.

Leopold seemed to get it now. Out of sight out of mind eh? I see your point - this would give us the opportunity to monitor more closely for signs of persons of the right...aptitude.

Gustav smiled. Indeed sir, as well as pleasing the Church.

The Prinz sighed. Can't have everything I suppose...Go ahead then, we shall proceed as you suggest. Sorry Captain, looks like your men are now tasked with closing down the alehouses and bordellos of Wien rather than patronising them!

He clapped the good Captain on the back as he strode from the room. The Captain looked glum and shot a look of daggers at the Prinz' advisor, who smiled fatuously at him in response.