Imperial Diet & Rules

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich:

You there. Becker. What makes you think you're qualified to serve as Imperial Spymaster?

[Zim]

Those looking closely might notice a brief look of shock cross Becker's face at being addressed by the Emperor himself, before he quickly composes himself.

"Absolutely nothing at all. It appeared noone of higher qualifications was going to nominate themselves, and so I thought I would be remiss in my duties to the Empire if I failed to offer my own modest abilities towards the task."

[phonicsmonkey]

Ernst of Melk rises to speak on behalf of the Prinz.

Becker is far too unassuming. He is eminently qualified to handle the intelligence of the Empire, having served for some years in reconnaissance capacity for the Prinz before heading the Prinz' bodyguard, distinguishing himself in many a battle against the Poles and Magyar.

The Kaiser would be familiar with Becker's career had he been present for the past decade, or at least at the wedding celebrations of the Duke of Bavaria to his royal daughter!

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich gives the Prinz's representative a cool look before returning to his papers without comment.

[Zim]

A loud bang disturbs the dozing servants as the doors to the hall are flung open. In comes a plain looking man, with a mop of brown hair overlooking watery blue eyes and a slightly too large nose. Although his clothes are dirty and disheveled, apparently from a long ride, his livery plainly identifies him as one of Duke Becker's men. He strides to the center of the room and pulls out a scroll, clearing his throat loudly before reading aloud.

Greetings, nobles of the Empire,
As the first to assume the new position of Spymaster I thought it would behoove me to make a general report of the departments current assets and goals, hopefully setting a precedent for those that follow. I regret being unable to deliver this report personally on account of being on campaign against the perfidious Venetians, instead leaving the task in the capable hands of my faithful aid Wilhelm von Staufen.

Wilhelm takes a bow before continuing.

Several days before you likely received this message I sat down one evening with the members of our spy corps. We carefully pored over the assets left to me to do this job and I include this list for you. Names of our agents have been changed to protect them.

Staff:
Hans, a mostly bedridden octogenarian.
Sven, a somewhat clumsy todler who we nonetheless hold great expectations for after he comes of age in 14 years.

Physical assets:
1 small shack to meet in, with leaky roof.
1 IOU note for the taxes that would have gone towards training spies over the last ten years, signed by the previous spy guild leader, who was conspicuously absent.
Last, found under a bench, 1 florin

That essential task completed, we moved on to take action. Our first action was to determine that the shack we were meeting in was far too rat and flea infested to ever be cleansed except by fire, so we burnt it to the ground. Sifting through the wreckage we discovered 5 more florins, only one of them being made of now very charred wood. Our funds were thus increased 5 fold (six if one is a dishonest sort, which I suppose many spies are by nature). We immediately celebrated by moving on to our new meeting place, a nearby tavern rather accurately if unimaginitively going by the name "The Seedy Pub". Once there we had a few drinks (on my tab, not using our newly gained fortune. And of course Sven had a milk) and bemoaned the state to which the Empire's network of spies has fallen.

Not all news is so grim, however. After many rounds we decided that at least we had nowhere to go but up. To that end I have raised taxes in Nuremburg with the hope of building new facilities from which to hire spies. If some of my colleagues ruling over other parts of the Empire do the same, we can not only once again have a competent spy force, but poor Hans can finally retire.

Somewhere around midnight Sven's mother insisted he come home, and we decided to call it a night.

Your servant,
Helmut Becker.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich:

*Raising an eyebrow at this latest report*

Well, er, done gentlemen, well done indeed. I look... forward to future reports of your progress.

In addition, this reminds me. I have decided to assume the position of Chancellor for this most important of terms. The position of Steward will remain vacant. You may all wish me the best in my endeavors at your pleasure.

[Nightbringer]

The doors open and a man looking to be in his late 20s enters the room. He is dressed in fashionable, but clearly well worn cloths, and sports a small pack with him. Held casually in one hand is a leather journal, while the other fidgets with the hilt of a sword. He surveys the scene for a moment, and seeming somewhat bored by it, finds his way to a vacant chair and sits. The man carefully removes a small flask from his pack and takes a drink from it, before spreading a few papers out in front of him. Finally, he begins to speak.

Greetings all, I am Jens Herden, some of you may already know me, (he nods to Helmet) but for those who don't, I am the loyal vassal of our glorious Prinz Leopold von Osterreich. I myself have little wealth or property, but I am here to support my lord and to take in all the wisdom of this council.

[GeneralHankerchief]

An Imperial clerk wordlessly takes Jens Herden aside and shows him a copy of the Imperial Charter, pointing out Section 6, Clause 11, Subclause 5.

OOC: It's good to be Kaiser.

[Nightbringer]

Jens comes back with a slightly annoyed look on his face. He walks over to the Kaiser, kneels before him, and begins to speak.

I hereby swear that, during my time as an Elector, I will serve the Reich faithfully and the Kaiser loyally. I recognize that the Kaiser is the sovereign of the Reich and, while I may disagree with him politically, I will not question his, supremacy.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich:

*smirking*

Rise, Elector Herden. May your service be long, faithful, and successful.

[Nightbringer]

*Returning the Emperor's smirk*
It will be at least two of those...
*turns and walks back to his seat*

[phonicsmonkey]

Ernst of Melk tuts disapprovingly at the young man's cheek.

[Ignoramus]

Andreas Hummel storms into the Diet, clearly angry.

Finally I have the chance to have some justice! I will have mein case heard!

Turning to Prinz Leopold, he thundered on.

Are you so omniscient, mein Prinz, that you so casually disregard the intentions of your father, the Kaiser, regarding the bestowal of his daughter's hand? Or are you simply interested in gaining a new crony to maintain some of your now diluted influence?

I was promised by your father the hand of Princess Agnes for mein faithful service in his cause. And this is how I am treated! I waited for years waiting for mein bride to arrive, and still no word came. Until last year word came to mein attention that without so much as a by-your-leave, she had been married off to the young upstart Duke of Bavaria! Is this how mein loyalty is to be repaid? By broken promises and insults?

I will have mein grievances addressed. I appeal to mein rightful liege, Heinrich, Kaiser of the Romans, to hear mein complaints and right the wrongs which I have suffered!"

[phonicsmonkey]

The Prinz is absent but his representative, Ernst of Melk, shifts uneasily in his seat and tries to avoid the Duke's gaze.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich:

You there, Melk is it? Go now and summon your master, I require his presence at the Diet. There are things that need to be said and other points that I need to be absolutely clear on, and this requires the nobility, not just their representatives. I don't care what the Prinz is doing, bring him back here mid-piss if you have to.

[Ignoramus]

Following his interruption by the Kaiser, Hümmel continued.

I thank you, mein liege, for your concern in this matter. But that is not the only complaint I have against the Prinz.

I have just discovered the truth about the loss of Hamburg, and with it Saxony. When news reached me at Antwerp that Hamburg had fallen, I assumed that it had been stormed by the Danes. Seeing that I was busy defending Antwerp from the French, I could not spare the men to come to its aid and so planned to recover it later. But now I have been informed that Hamburg was bartered away to the Danes for money - without mein consent!

Such gross treachery is despicable, and I ask why your son hates me so to sell mein lands to enemy for gold, while I am off distracted fighting the Kaiser's enemies!

[phonicsmonkey]

After some considerable time the Prinz arrives. He does not look pleased to be here. He has not bothered to remove his riding gear and strides down the aisle to the Diet floor in his muddy boots, his riding crop still in hand.

With a flourish of his crop he turns to Hummel, eyes blazing.

You there, Hummel, I hear you have been bleating about injustice and unfairness and whatnot, in an insolent tone no less! You should learn to show more respect to your betters and not second guess their decisions, made in the best interests of the Reich!

Since your head appears full of that too-solid cheese you Dutchmen are so fond of, let me remind you of the situation when we made the deal with the Danish King.

Disregarding my calls for assistance, made here in this very Diet, you had left your lands undefended and at the mercy of the Reich's enemies, without so much as a word of explanation to your acting Kaiser. Those enemies, need I remind you, being both numerous and determined to bring about our destruction.

Save Antwerp which you claim to have 'defended' from the French. I strongly suspect there was not much fighting at all and such 'defence' was conducted at the sharp end of a wine glass. Perhaps you should have followed your friend Zirn into their service instead of bleating here about your 'rights'.

Well, at the time of the deal we were at war with Italians, Franks, Poles and Magyar as well as Danes.

I considered it a boon to be able to negotiate a peace with at least one of our foes, and at the small cost of Hamburg which I considered that you had abandoned to their mercy and thereby foresworn your claim on. I should point out that in return I received for the Reich's coffers a regular sum which doubled the yearly income from that city - a good deal for the Reich, by anyone's standards.

Indeed, if you had not approached the matter so churlishly I may have suggested to my father the Kaiser that the yearly stipend be assigned to you in compensation. I shall not do so now!

And as to the matter of my royal sister Agnes. Well, I confess I was unaware of any prior arrangement between the Kaiser and Holland. You see my father did not leave me a laundry list on his departure saying 'do this, do that' - I was obliged to think for myself and make decisions, as I have said, in the interest and for the glory of the Reich.

But I should tell you Hummel - when I broke the news to her that she was to marry Becker she was quite pleased. Indeed she blushed -and she raised no objection on the grounds of having been promised to a snub-nosed cloth merchant from the low lands!

The Prinz, having said his piece, takes off his riding glove and reaches for a nearby flagon, draining the contents before spitting on the floor in the direction of the Duke. He then leans back against a pillar, crosses his arms and fixes Hummel with a gaze, challenging him to respond.

Ernst of Melk sniggers in the background.

[Nightbringer]

Jens cannot help but let a bit of a grin show at his Lord's jest, and looks around expectantly to see if anyone else dares speak against the Prinz now

[Ignoramus]

Andreas Hümmel merely shrugs his shoulders at the angry Prinz.

I could expect no better of one whose only notable attribute is to despise one of his father's most loyal vassals. One who has little regard for loyalty is not fit to rule the Reich. Thankfully your father has returned to his rightful place and along with him justice and respect.

I defer mein case to the Kaiser.

[phonicsmonkey]

The Prinz interjects.

Now listen here Dutchman, if you were serious about your loyalty to the Kaiser you would extend the same to his son and heir. Let us not forget that I was acting as Kaiser at the time these decisions were made. Questioning the decision of the Kaiser in public, challenging his authority - does this seem a good way to display one's loyalty? Does a Kaiser's decision become open to question when he is no longer Kaiser?

Is your loyalty to one man, or to the Reich and its institutions?

[Ignoramus]

Laughing, Hümmel responds.

Then you need to go to the theatre more often and take some lessons, for your acting was terrible.

[phonicsmonkey]

Leopold is stony-faced at the pun. He starts to say something before thinking better of it, waiting instead with a scowl for his father to speak.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Kaiser Heinrich:

Right then, have we all gotten this out of our systems?

I ask you all, Good Electors, to observe for a moment this point in history and our place in it.

This is the same empire of my father, Henry III, the Pious. He was a mighty ruler, holding heavy sway over Germany, Burgundy, and parts of Italy. No Pope in his right mind would dare deny him the right of investiture. Under his reign our great Reich prospered, and life was good. This empire traces its recent roots back to my ancestor Karl the Great, who was crowned Roman Emperor by Pope Leo III on Christmas Day, 800 in the year of our Lord, in Rome. Through this act our empire is inexorably connected with that of our predecessors, the great Roman Empire of old; a country that has lived on through the Pope and therefore by that act we are without a doubt its true successors. This, Good Electors, means that our destiny will be forever intertwined with and compared to that of the great names of the ancient days: Marcus Aurelius, Constantine the Great, Gaius Julius Caesar, Octavian Augustus, and Marcellus Aemilius. By the deeds of these titans I have mentioned and thousands of others, all of the Mediterranean, most of Europe, all of North Africa, and parts of Asia were once under dominion. The empire stretched from Scotland to Persia.

Scotland to Persia, Good Electors. What are we reduced to now? A collection of territories in the heart of what our great ancestors would call "Europa Barbarorum". We exist as a state without a capital; certainly Frankfurt serves well enough, but Rome, dear Rome, our Rome lies under foreign occupation. Even in past times most recent these core territories have come under attack, with us losing Innsbruck and Staufen and being in grave danger of seeing Antwerp fall next. We have even had to sell off Hamburg - Hamburg! - simply to pay the bills.

Is this truly how far we have fallen, Good Electors?

No, I submit that it is not. For even as these enemies convalesce around us, even as we theoretically cleaned up our own house in that terrible civil war and united as one (though spending far more effort and money than I would have liked to do so), we squabble like old women. We mock the sacred oath that we have just spent German blood to secure, and yes, Elector Jens Herden, I am calling you out for so callously and casually upbraiding something for which far better and more important men than you will ever be have fought and died for. We argue over what precious little resources - and yes, I am including royal marriageable women in this! - we have left, while at the same time failing to realize that every single year, these resources shrink ever more, until one day at the Diet there will be no more resources to argue over, for the Reich with its proud centuries-beyond-count history will be nothing but material for the history books.

Duke Hummel, I sympathize with your predicament, I truly do. But what do you want me to do, censure the Prinz? Deny him an army command and have him sit on his arse in Vienna for several campaign seasons as punishment? While he is being taught a lesson, who then will stem and reverse the tide of Venetians, Hungarians, Poles, and God knows what else out there that is clawing on our ever-shrinking borders? Furthermore, while I do not doubt your generalship, things do happen. What would the situation be if I publicly side with you over the Prinz, keep him out of the spotlight for a while, and then you die during the defense of Antwerp? I would have two less generals then, two less noble lions to proudly defend the Reich at a time when distinguished men such as yourselves are so hard to come by? Prinz Leopold, what if after I die and you are Kaiser, your relationship with one of the strongest men in the Reich is beyond repair simply because of a few insults tossed back and forth that were allowed to fester?

This body will unite, both politically and personally, if the Reich is to regain its former glory of only a generation ago and beyond. And it will do so behind me. I am Heinrich. I am Emperor of Rome. I am the heir of my father, Henry III; of Karl the Great, of Constantine, of Augustus himself. And even if you do not respect me, you will respect this office.

I have returned and now take the lead of the defense of this realm. You will fall in line behind me, or the last remnant of the greatest empire that Earth has ever known will continue to wither away and die. It is as simple as that.

[Ignoramus]

Andreas Hümmel rises to address the Kaiser.

Mein Kaiser, while I respect the need for unity, shall I not be compensated for mein losses? I have had mein lands sold and denied mein chance to enter your family and so far I have not yet received even a serf back in compensation. I am loyal to mein liege, but I will not suffer injustices to be passed over or ignored.

[phonicsmonkey]

The Prinz kneels before his father the Kaiser.

My liege, your will.

He stands and turns to the Duke of Holland.

Good Duke, you must understand that what I did was for the health of the Reich as I saw it at the time.

The Danes or the Poles would have taken Hamburg at any rate the following season with your forces trapped by the French and my own armies engaged in Hungary. Were it in my power I would pay you the tribute directly - at least then you would have the direct benefit of the deal. Compensation, if you like.

Perhaps when we are strong once more we can demand it back from them and take it ourselves if they refuse, eh?

He grins wolfishly.

As for my sister, I simply did not know of your prior arrangement. What's done is done - let us put it to rest.

He extends his hand to the older man and waits for him to take it. He appears to be in earnest.

[Ignoramus]

The Prinz's gaze meets an empty seat.

One of Hummel's retinue spoke.

"I believe mein liege left 10 minutes ago. He said he had a battle to fight..."

[Nightbringer]

Following the Prinz' example, Jens also kneels before the Kaiser

Forgive me if I seem callous and upbraided my Kaiser, I am simply unused to the ways of court life. I am used to being told to my face when I err, and receiving orders from a servant to swear an oath is not what I fought for against the Magyar, nor what I expected upon receiving the honorable title of Elector. I was angered by this and spoke out of turn, it will not happen again.

I am young yet my Kaiser, and I love the Reich as much as any man does, but I know I have much to learn yet about the ways of politics. I shall keep my manners in the future.

[Ignoramus]

Four days later, a tearful Captain Wikerus stumbles into the Diet Chamber.

"Mein lords! Duke Hummel has fallen against the French while sallying out of Antwerpen. I was there, commanding a company of archers and I saw the Duke go down fighting. We rallied for a time and managed to kill the Frankish king, but alas, we were defeated, and Antwerpen has fallen. Indeed, I and only six others escaped with our lives.

[phonicsmonkey]

The Prinz does not attend the funeral.

[Nightbringer]

Well, that is tragic.
You may give my condolences to his wife and childr, er, well...

Jens promptly sits