What the &*$%& is up with all the Pirate crap?!

**Vuk** · 09-19-2010, 19:01

Seriously, Inter Talk Like A Pirate day, people with pirate bumper stickers, the never ending pirate vs ninja debate, etc. Since when were pirates considered role models? Since when were pirates great warriors?! A pirate could mean so many different things that it almost has no meaning. A pirate could be anything from a clueless sea hand who knows not the first thing about combat to a skilled warrior. Even in the case of a skilled warrior with military training, being a pirate makes him no better than any navy vet.
Pirates existed from almost the beginning of human history till the present, and the technology, dress, tactics, etc of them were so widely different! Pirates existed everywhere from China to Spain, and everywhere in between! How can there be ONE pirate accent?! Do you really think that a Chinese pirate would sound anything like a Spanish pirate? Or a French pirate like a British pirate? What about a Turkish pirate?
People's image of pirates is so Anglo-central that they do not even think about their stupidity! Pirates, no matter which time or place they came from were usually a bunch of cowardly, poorly disciplined dirtbags who preyed on civilian and merchant vessels, and would get their butt kicked by a disciplined military vessel. Why would anyone want to be like that? That would be like making a burglar cult, and portraying them as great warriors!

I am sick to DEATH of all the pirate crap! It is just a constant reminder of how brain-dead modern people are.
(present company excluded of course)

**Hax** · 09-19-2010, 19:26

Shiver me timbers, Vuk...

**Lemur** · 09-19-2010, 19:27

Batten down yer hatch, matey.

**Hax** · 09-19-2010, 19:28

I'll raise me rum in yer honour, Lemurrr!

**Crazed Rabbit** · 09-19-2010, 20:25

Avast, thar be a foolish landlubber! Ye scurvy bilge rat! Arrr, what right does a landlubber like ye have to speak ill of pirates?

Hold ye tongue, says I! How can any honest man be sayin' that a pirate be cowardly?

What madness that be! No man who sails upon the ocean, oft upon a vessel where the timber's be creakin' as the wind and waves try to tear her apart, to board ships by jumping over the side and fighting to the death, who must needs be savvy enough to elude the great ships o' the line, can be a coward!

Let me tell ye what a true coward be; a man who does not but attack the deeds of others! To squat in a house and risk not ye life, that be the coward's mark! Arrr, methinks there needs be a keelhaulin', me mateys.

Tis only the pirates who live truly free, as all me hearties know. If life be a ship, they be not hidin' in the cargo hold like dumb animals, but ridin' the bowsprit in life! We be acceptin' not ye precious laws based on the whims of some incestuous king! As a pirate, every man has a voice and the right to speak! We do as we please, and let no sea dog stop us, as we'll send them to Davy Jones' locker!

Ye speak falsely, ye landlubber, of things ye know nothing about. So take ye rum, if ye can stomach it, and ye wench, if any would have ye, and leave here. Go back to ye shack and struggle under the dictates of ye kings, and accept every injustice laid upon ye without a fight, and bother not such brave and free men as me hearties again!

CR

**InsaneApache** · 09-19-2010, 21:19

'Tis nobbutt a trend me scurvy shipmates. Let 'em swing from the yardarm, the fancy landlubbers they are mateys.

**jabarto** · 09-19-2010, 21:37

The Vikings did everything the pirates did, but the Vikings did it twice as well and were so badass that they had their own unique label. Suck it pirates.