Need Sum Input

[Megas Methuselah]

Dont wanna bore you guys with mah life, so Imma make it quick.

Over the summer, I saw a girl I knew from my high school days from years back. She looked cute as ever, she saw me as I saw her, we held eye contact for a few seconds, then I sort of walked away without saying "hi" because it made me feel strange on the inside and I'm something of a coward. Now, over the past month or so, and for many different reasons, I've been feeling very depressed. That's not my problem, though; I've been focusing on my studies to keep myself sane, you know? But while all this is going on, I can't get this girl off my mind, and I'm feeling things I haven't felt for someone since I met her those years ago. It's kinda scary, and here's where I need some input:

I don't think she's in town anymore, but I have her e-mail. Should I send her a message with my number, telling her to call me sometime so we can talk? Would it seem weird/strange from her position to receive such an e-mail? Would we actually get anywhere together under these sort of circumstances? Or should I just forget the whole situation, and focus on my studying and the girls from around here who can't seem to make me feel the same way about them as I used to (and still do???) about her?

[Shibumi]

*sits down, trying a dr. Phil pose*

It's a two fold question, really...

To start with the easy one, if you want to mail her then just do! Try not to sound too much like a stalker and it should be no probs. Facebook is great for this type of things, I hooked up with a former GF not long ago through FB. Keep it simple - "hey, what are you doing nowadays, if you are in town let's have a coffee"...


The tricker question then, from reading your post, you dont seem very happy with life. Are you sure she doesnt just remind you of a time when you were happier, rather than her being the reason you were happy? What in your current way of life can you change to something more positive?

If you are not happy in and of yourself, no outside influence will ever help you, from my experience. I would recomend you to sharpen up, do something about whatever is draging you down. Then, if the will to contact her still exists, dont hesitate.

Just my thoughts on the matter, wish you best of luck though :)

[Fragony]

Can't you mail her something very confusing, an answer to a non-existing question 'yeah socrates was probably a boy-lover as you suggested, but not sure about the animals'

'sorry! accidently mailed that to my whole list :P'

So how have you been?

[pevergreen]

I don't think she's in town anymore, but I have her e-mail. Should I send her a message with my number, telling her to call me sometime so we can talk? Would it seem weird/strange from her position to receive such an e-mail? Would we actually get anywhere together under these sort of circumstances? Or should I just forget the whole situation, and focus on my studying and the girls from around here who can't seem to make me feel the same way about them as I used to (and still do???) about her?

If you were friends, its not weird.

It you weren't, it might be. It may need a reason for contact to be established, or make one up if you're that cut up over it.

As shibumi said, fb works surpisngly well. A girl that used to hate me, but i had since mitigated via an online conversation about 8 months earlier (she just got back from a years study overseas, it was a 'how was it' conversation) was having computer troubles, i offered to fix it, we went on a date.

Bam.

[naut]

The tricker question then, from reading your post, you dont seem very happy with life. Are you sure she doesnt just remind you of a time when you were happier, rather than her being the reason you were happy? What in your current way of life can you change to something more positive?

If you are not happy in and of yourself, no outside influence will ever help you, from my experience. I would recomend you to sharpen up, do something about whatever is draging you down. Then, if the will to contact her still exists, dont hesitate.

What this man said. Either it's the above or regret. Or both.

Possibly anticipation too? Regret and anticipation feel pretty similar IMHO.

[A Nerd]

Write and profess your love. Don't be afraid to express your emotions. There is more than sex when dealing with women! If you just want sex, find someone you feel less for and have your fun!

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Send her a Teddy bear, works every time!

I'm something of a coward.

Didn't know the Great Megaman was! Come on Hussar, show her how fmabloruyent you are! Red Shako!!!!!

[Shibumi]

Write and profess your love. Don't be afraid to express your emotions. There is more than sex when dealing with women! If you just want sex, find someone you feel less for and have your fun!

Rubbish.

He hasnt seen her for years, he will come off as a complete nutcase if he would randomly express his love.

[A Nerd]

Love should be timeless. If he no longer loves her based on appearence, then he never felt for her at all. Perhaps he better keep silent...:)

[Skullheadhq]

Oh look, it's another girl thread.
Someone should consider making a big love advice sticky thread.

[naut]

Oh look, it's another girl thread.
Someone should consider making a big love advice sticky thread.

We used to have one. It's like 14 pages or something...

[Peasant Phill]

You know that you get old when you can't consider doing something love related via electronic means.
But that isn't relevant here.

If she's on your mind quite a lot (for whatever reason), then by all means contact her. Say you saw her, apologize for not talking to her then and then ask her how she's been.
You may have gained a friend, a romantic interest, ... In the worst case she'll think you are weird but. Anyway it goes you'll at least have gotten this unanswered whatever out of your system.

Don't think it over, just do it. You'll stay unhappy if you wait for thing to get better. Take it from the guy whose first romantic experience started whe she said "are we going to kiss or what".

[Megas Methuselah]

The tricker question then, from reading your post, you dont seem very happy with life. Are you sure she doesnt just remind you of a time when you were happier, rather than her being the reason you were happy?

This is a tough question to answer. It stayed in my mind as I was going over the thread, until I found this post:

[In reply to Shibumi's post]

What this man said. Either it's the above or regret. Or both.

I have a lot of regrets from the past, especially with this girl. And the way we looked at each other on that summer day, she expected me to talk to her. She wanted me to. But I walked away, man! And now I can't get her off my mind...



I've been putting a lot of thought into this, and this is what I've got so far: when I met her, I was a boy becoming a man. But as a teenager, I had no father figures to look to; becoming a man, and not just a man, but an indian man in an indian family with all of our indian problems, was... very difficult, frustrating, and heart-breaking. I'm sure many of you realized that, seeing as how I used the Org for the past years to dump out all the emotions balled up in my bitter heart. But I am now a man. This doesn't mean I know everything in life (on the contrary, I am always learning), but it does mean that I've emotionally matured over the past several years. One of the things I thought I left behind was cowardice. Acting as I did with her this past summer was... unlike me. And I think that sending her a short e-mail along the lines of "hey -her name-, it's -my name-. If you can, call me sometime at -phone number-. Thanks." (btw, does that sound ok?) At least this way, I think I might be able to rest in peace with the knowledge that I tried.

But as it is now, I always felt that we had unfinished business. We were probably both too young to deal with what we felt. And I'm thinking we could maybe pick up where we left off. At the very least, I might be able to hear her sweet voice again. And this hopefully won't be another action added to my already-heavy burden of regrets.

Give me some feedback.

[Csargo]

Do it.

[Beskar]

I think adding her to facebook would be the best way, you will also see if she is single or not.

[Csargo]

Yeah, but facebook is the devil though.

[Strike For The South]

Facebook, it comes in handy

[Ice]

I'm going to go against the grain here, and say forget about her. I mean, what exactly are you going to accomplish by sending her an email? It's a bit hard to build a relationship when you two aren't geographically close, and there had been no real special bond from the past. I know this sucks and isn't what you wanted to hear, but I've had experience with a very closely related situation. It sucked. A LOT. Don't let it drive you insane. Go chase. That's the single greatest piece of advice I can offer.

By the way, I think I've been using Excel too much. The title reminded me of =sum(x,x) :P.

[Megas Methuselah]

...and there had been no real special bond from the past.

Yes, there was. Something real special. Further, it's a bit strange, I think, to continue feeling something for her (and abosolutely nothing towards any other girls) after a few years had passed.

But the rest of your post rings true to reality, and is exactly what is scaring me from doing it. From a realistic perspective, perhaps the most likely possibility would be having a long talk about the past and the present, and perhaps agreeing to going out for coffee or something when we're nearby. But I don't know. I just don't know. I mean, wtf, I'm freakin scared, man...

[naut]

And I think that sending her a short e-mail along the lines of "hey -her name-, it's -my name-. If you can, call me sometime at -phone number-. Thanks." (btw, does that sound ok?) At least this way, I think I might be able to rest in peace with the knowledge that I tried.

Something like that, "Hi, was that you at -location- the otherday? I wasn't sure, I'm sorry if I blanked you, but I wasn't entirely sure it was you. Anyway, how you been, etc..."

Anyway, I'll leave you with the opening to Sweet Loaf by the Butthole Surfers:

"Daddy?"
"Yes, son?"
"What does regret mean?"
"Well, son, the funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done."

[Fragony]

Yes, there was. Something real special. Further, it's a bit strange, I think, to continue feeling something for her (and abosolutely nothing towards any other girls) after a few years had passed.

But the rest of your post rings true to reality, and is exactly what is scaring me from doing it. From a realistic perspective, perhaps the most likely possibility would be having a long talk about the past and the present, and perhaps agreeing to going out for coffee or something when we're nearby. But I don't know. I just don't know. I mean, wtf, I'm freakin scared, man...

You only look like an idiot if you agree you look like an idiot no? If you don't care about looking like an idiot you just have muchos attitude.

If it doesn't just invent a wisdom of the forefathers to shut them up, you got nothing to lose

[pevergreen]

Yes, there was. Something real special. Further, it's a bit strange, I think, to continue feeling something for her (and abosolutely nothing towards any other girls) after a few years had passed.

Sounds like you're basically in the same situation I am, except its not bad.

As the others have said, theres really two options, go, or forget.

Do you think you can forget? If so, that is in reality, the better option. If you don't: try. Otherwise you will regret not trying.

It sucks, but eventually you'll move on, or you won't.

Yeah, just be thankful its not bad. I'd much rather be you.

[Megas Methuselah]

Alright, I got what I need. As I said, I've been depressed this past month due to a lot of things, and my mental capabilities have been... diverted, so to speak. It's good to have you guys and your combined tomb of knowledge around to confirm my options and their respective consequences and rewards.

Thanks.

[Crazed Rabbit]

The title reminded me of =sum(x,x) :P.

Me too.

CR

[naut]

Alright, I got what I need. As I said, I've been depressed this past month due to a lot of things, and my mental capabilities have been... diverted, so to speak. It's good to have you guys and your combined tomb of knowledge around to confirm my options and their respective consequences and rewards.

Thanks.

Good luck. Have fun. And if you aren't bleeding, vomiting or on fire you are fine.


And I guess I'm eating my own words here.... but I wish I hadn't followed my own advice above. =/

[Megas Methuselah]

And I guess I'm eating my own words here.... but I wish I hadn't followed my own advice above. =/

Wait, what?

[naut]

Wait, what?

Heh. Spoke too soon. I guess the moral of the story is: Don't count your chickens before they hatch, twice.