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It seemed as if years, instead of days, has passed since that accursed tower sprang up from what was once San Andreas's Fault (Which was, incidentally, totally not San Andreas's fault). In the first day or so of its appearance, several billion billion zerglings demons appeared from the tower and rushed through the United States. Needless to say, the rest of the world followed it couple of days later.

Scientists tracked the source of the tower's power, which was assumed to be a massive gem (because it's always like that in fantasy novels), to the top floor of the massive tower (Oh look, a repetition). If the power source was to be destroyed, the demon invasion would be stopped...all will return to normal, and everything will have a happy ending. But who would volunteer for such a mission? Surly the power source would be heavily guarded...chances of survival would be as much as the chance that GM stock prices would overtake Apple's.

It is times like this when humanity needs a hero.

Instead, it got some rag tag bunch of nerds who played too much D&D, mafia games, or both.

They looked at the giant gate to the tower (which could presumably unleash a billion billion zerglings daemons at once) and trembled. Would they dare venture into the opening? Would they save the world? No, no they can't.

It is times like this when humanity loses all hope. Quite frankly I agree with them too.

.............................................................................................

Hi, welcome to my installment of Roll to Dodge. Here, your objective is not to kill each other in the most epic way possible (although you are completely free to try), but rather, reach the Daemonic power source at the top of the tower in order to destroy it.

You shall post an action every phase. I will roll a dice to determine the outcome.

1: You do exactly the opposite of what you intended to do.
2: Simply fail.
3: partial success, by that I mean probably not much.
4: Partial success. You do what you want to do, but it probably doesn't give you the effect you wanted it to have.
5: You do exactly what you wanted to do.
6: You overshoot and die horribly


Note that you may not use any abilities or items that I have not yet told you that you have.


List of Players:

1. Diamondeye
Status: On fire
Item: WOOT I AM ALPHA WOLF T-shirt ON FIRE. Butterfly Knife.

2. Jooray:
Statys: Healthy
Item: A bag of dry ice.

3. landlubber
Status: Landsick healthy.
Item: Glargleblaster with Plasma cooling compensator Mark 2034. Replica, of course.

4. Chaotix
Status: Healthy
Item: Water gun

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I check to see if my shirt, by any coincidence, is the AWESOME WOLF SHIRT!

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I cast Magic Missile against the Darkness. (After all as an apparent AD&D nerd, I'll have to see if I'm a wizard)

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I venture into the opening.

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I install a self-destruct device in my body powerful enough to blow the tower to smithereens.

Just in case.

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6: It is. Unfortunately your intent staring made it combust into flames in embarassment. Now you have the AWESOME WOLF SHIRT. ON FIRE.

You utter the words "Abra Kadabra Alakazam" into the air, killing dozens of germs living inside your mouth by sheer awesomeness. The darkness seem very fine, however. Perhaps more training is required? Or a staff of Doom?

...

Brush your teeth.

6: You roll through the gigantic open maw of the tower ing batman style. Typically you would expect some mooks to appear right at this instant and you aren't disappointed.

ROLL TO DODGE!

5: You kick the zergling demon right in between the legs (forelimbs?) and send it flying far far away into the interior of the tower.

The first floor of the tower is a large place, enough to fit the giant spaceship from Independance Day inside. This has probably got to do with the fact that a billion billion zerglings demons awaited inside this chamber, dreaming of the days when it would be released to mankind to wreak havoc.

Permeating the area is a musty smell that makes you wonder what the billion billion zerglins demons were doing inside the tower before they were unleashed.

You see some zerglings demons inside the tower. Aside from the first one you just sent pummeling towards the interior, the others does not seem to have noticed you yet. Or maybe they aren't even bothering to kill you. Who knows?

Unfortunately you do not have a power source big enough. Presumably the demonic powersource located deep within the tower would be powerful enough to blow up the tower and 50000000000 km square radius of area around it, but unfortunately you do not have that right now.

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Heck yeah, awesome Wolf shirt - on fire!

I wait patiently for the horde of females that this is bound to attract!

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I run behind landlubber(slap him on the back for advancing without us) and scan the area for anything that can be made into a weapon and collect it.

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I hide behind Joooray.

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I focus my chi to gain AWESOME POWERS OF LEVITATION.

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2: You wait patiently...while on fire...literally.

.......

You begin to scream.

4: You pick up landlubber and assess his quality if used as a weapon. Unfortunately he is a bit too heavy to be used as a weapon successfully, but with enough training you are sure that he can be used as a weapon.

You put him back down for now.

2: Disoriented by being picked upon, you stumble around, trying to get behind Joooray.

This act of cowardice attracts the zerglings demons who can smell your fear...

Roll to Dodge! 3: You flail around, waving your replica gun like a bat. Unfortunately this wasn't quite enough and one of the zerglings demons swipe at your abdoman, causing some bleeding.

6: You focus your chi like you saw some monks/shamans/wizrards did in Dragon Ball and actually feel your self levitating 100 m in the sky. Of course this doesn't make sense at all, but whatever works, I guess.

Unfortunately you don't know how to steer yourself nor how to land. That may come a bit problematic.

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Thus convinced of my own awesomeness (the chicks must be waiting for me to save the world while wearing the awesome wolf shirt on fire), I stride casually after the others inside and kick the demon attacking Landlubber.

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I use Mr Spocks Knockout move to incapacitate the zergling demon.

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I look to see if there's a first-aid kit in my pocket.

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I attempt to LEVITATE straight to the top of the tower and see if there's a rooftop entrance.

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I see the first one plummeting to his death for rolling a 1.

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1: You scream around like a little chicken on fire (the T-shirt, by the way, due to its thick plot armor, is fine) and run randomly around the tower (which, incidentally, makes no difference because of how ****ing huge the tower is) until you learn to duck, cover, and roll, putting out the flames. Luckily you only received first degree burns on 50% of your body.

3: You pinch the zergling demon in the neck, doing absolutely no damage. Another zergling demon pounces on you...

ROLL TO DODGE! 5: Oh so that's how you do the Vulcan Nerve Pinch...

6: Inside youir pocket you find...

Neosporin
Band Aid
Bandages
Medical Tape
Medical Glue
Peptobismal
Aspirins
Anacetrapib
EMILA
Pillz
First Aid Kits
A bottle of Holy Water
A bottle with some sort of glowy stuff inside.
How to survive in a zombie apocalypse book
Book entitled Joooray dies at the end
Book entitled How to fit a boat into your pocket
A live concussion grenade.

ROLL TO DODGE! 3: It explodes 3 meter from your hand, flinging you away considerable distance and blowing apart all zerglings. Miraculously, both you and Joooray survived, although you are very shaken.

2: You feel yourself wobbling back down as your chi is used up...

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I beg Landlubber to fix my burns and promise not to tell the females about my disastrous entré - the last in a low, hushed whisper while looking around sceptically.

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Being stunned by the contents of ll's pocket, I also check mine.

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I stop the bleeding.

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I learn to control my chi so that I might better implement my powers of LEVITATION.

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3: You drag yourself closer to landlubber, whimpering

1: You empty the contents of your pocket down the gigantic hole in the middle of the room (did I mention that before?). Now you know that they are empty.

6: You slap some novasporin on your cuts, dab some antibiotics on Diamondeye's Joooray's and your wounds, and then treat them all nicely with some bandages, finally swallowing some pillz as well. They all feel much better now.

By the way...

ROLL TO DODGE!

4: An acid phelgm fired by a zergling demon grazes your cheek.

2: We're going down captain!

You plummet to the ground, spraining your ankle in the process.

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I check my body if there is anything left that I have not thrown into the hole. Stupid 1. *grumble*

BTW: What's that supposed to mean?!

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I jump into the hole to fetch Joooray's things.

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I read "Joooray dies at the end."

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I focus my chi to HEAL my sprained ankle.

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1: You throw in your clothes as well. Now you are naked. Female readers may wish to avert their eyes now.

6: You leap into the hole, catching Joooray's clothes midair and throwing them (disgusted) back at Joooray. Then you snatch a parcel entitled "Seon. Co's Survival Kit, contents of which will be revealed if you stop falling.

Did I remind you that you were still falling?

This may be a time to panic now.

4: It is hundreds of pages long, and the first page reads...

"STOP!

You shouldn't have touched this book with your bare hands.

No, don't put it down, it's too late.

They're watching you."

Who's watching? You don't have time to ask that question as a blob of acid flew straight at your face.

Roll to Dodge!

You block it with your hands, causing VERY intense pain.

6: You fix your ankle, cure your gonorhhea (did I mention that before?), and also fix your eyesight so that you can see hidden things and hidden things can see you. You can see that several ninja looking creatures are wandering around the tower and that there is a hidden stairway in the center of the tower's massive room filled with zerglings demons.

Did I mention that hidden things can see you now?

6 ninjas attack.

Roll to Dodge! 4: A sword strike nearly cuts your head off.

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Fix my hands.

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I put my clothes back on and then lay down in foetal position and cry, because the Gods of Dice hate me.

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I focus my chi to create a SWORD OF SPIRIT ENERGY to fight the ninjas with.

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