The Dark Ages are not the same as the Middle Ages - the early Middle ages (5th century to 11th century, or rather the fall of the WRE up until the conquest of Britain in 1066) are what is characterized as the Dark Ages. M2TW is set at the start of the High Middle ages, past the Viking age/Dark Ages.

That being said, it would be very different if i were of noble birth, or if i was a commoner. By your wording it would seem that i were indeed a noble, as they were the ones who trained in the martial arts since adolescence, while commoners took on the crafts or trades of their fathers. Being in a war is not romantic and pretty as movies might suggest - it's dirty, bloody, noisy and scary. It can and will scar your mind for the rest of your life, as many atrocities are commuted by the warring sides, and one can loose close friends in battle.

A nobleborn general has a higher chance of survival if he his captured and ransomed, as opposed to being coup-de-graced by the enemy if he is not valuable for his ransom. I'd be anxious and scared myself, as well as very prepared for the fight. If i'm on the front lines I must have made the right call and decided that the battle can be won and it is of strategic importance for me to boost the troop's morale by leading the charge.