Why can't Europe defend itself?

[Tellos Athenaios]

That sounds like a sweet deal. How do I go about applying to be a "crown dependecy"?

First you cut off your tail. Second you find some ancient military conflict which you then resolve by you ceding your formal independence from the Crown in exchange for substantial de-facto autonomy. Next you continue to be utterly insignificant in every way you can and you do not challenge Great Britain in any respect. If you're lucky nobody notices you and your status becomes one of those old relics of the past and nobody will bother with the trouble of reorganising your domain.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

"World domination aspirations" :/