The luxury of choice is a curse.
So, here's the situation:
I have a well paid job, working in the office of a Belgian notary public. A notary here is not to be compared with his Anglo-Saxon equivalent. I won't bother you with a detailed job description, but let's just say that the profession of notary is a protected profession and, if you make it to the postion, you're guaranteed to earn a lot of money. In order to get there, one needs to have the necessary master degrees, experience and needs to pass an exam. I participated last year and I was this close to passing it. I know that if I put my mind on it and put in some effort, that I will pass that exam, if not this year, then certainly next year. This will mean that I'm as good as certain to become a notary and earn lots of money. But the money isn't important. The fact that I actually like doing what I do, is important. And being able to earn money by doing what you like, would be great. Note: I don't like my current job that much, because, well, I still have a boss and I don't like being told what to do. I would, however, love this job, if I would be the boss and could make my own decisions.
However, being my own boss in my own business will inevitably mean, and certainly so the first 10 years, hard work, long days, not much vacation, aka I won't be able to spend much time with my family and I will miss a great deal of seeing my son grow up.
This is one career option and I do have that ambition. Otoh, I already feel guilty for not being able to spend the amount of time I truly want to spend with wife and child. Then again, a frustrated, unhappy dad who goes to work everyday because he must, doesn't seem perfect either.
Alternatively, I could just say farewell to the "dream" of becoming notary. Even in these times of crisis, it shouldn't be too difficult for me to find another job. Less money, much more free time.
Arguments contra: it could be that after a few years, I will become frustrated, being stuck in a position where I don't want to be professionally and maybe blaming myself for not having pursued the other option.
I like my job, I like doing this work, but if I stay here, I want to reach the top one day. So, if I continue on this path, I'll be one day earning an awful lot of money, but won't have much time for anything else. But it's not so much the money that does it. Honestly, I don't care that much about money. It's more the fact of being my own boss, in my own business, doing the kind of work I really like. I don't want to be my own boss in something different, like a shop or so. I can live with less money, so there's nothing holding me back financially from "stepping down" and doing something that allows me to have a lot of free time, except my own personal ambitions and desires.
I've still got plenty of time to make a decision, but I don't have an infinite amount of time. If I wait too long, time will decide in my place (and I will go with option one, becoming a notary).
Now, I'm not going to ask you guys to decide for me.
I'm more interested in your experiences, as a child or as a parent, to help me:
1) Was/is your father/mother somebody who worked/works hard and was/is seldom at home, and if so, did/do you have a good relationship with him/her? Did you get along well, did you miss him/her? Are you angry with him/her? Do you understand that he/she is/was doing what he/she thinks/thought is/was best for you or do you blame him/her for certain things?
2) If you're a full time working parent who is seldom home yourself, how is your relationship with your children? Do you feel guilty? Would you have made a different choice, knowing what you know now? Do you have the feeling your children understand or do they seem angry/disappointed?
3) If you're a parent who works parttime/stays at home, how does it feel? Do you sometimes feel frustrated or lonely, because you couldn't fullfil your professional ambitions? Would you have made a different choice, knowing what you know now?
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