Like you I play either on H/M or M/M because I dislike fighting 1-2 fullstacks every turn. The problem then (after almost a decade of stabilizing your economy and improving your infrastructure) is how you restrain yourself from steamrolling everyone.
That is especially true with Arche Seleukeia since you start the game as the most powerful state. So in my game as AS I took into account some historical facts:
a) Most of the major wars of the kings of AS were waged in the Levant or in Asia Minor (or at least the better documented ones...) It seems that they were never able to dominate those areas, since from what I know they never fully subdued the Galatians and they eventually lost Asia Minor to the Pergamon-Roman alliance. Also although they managed to expel the Ptolemaioi even from Ioudaia, the area was rebellious and the threat of the Ptolemaioi was never neutralized. So gameplay-wise I forgot about conquering those provinces. I allowed my foes to develop and to become a thorn at my side as they were in real history.
b) From what I gather, the Seleucid Kings were not in full control of their eastern provinces. Persian nationalism was a destabilizing factor (maybe even more than the nomad threat). I recall that although some parts of the zoroastrian priesthood were loyal to the macedonian monarch (we could even say they were bribed), there were many conservative and radical elements especially in the provinces of Drangiane etc who thought of the western conquerors as agents of Ahriman (the zoroastrian devil) sent to punish them for their sins. The personal ambitions of satraps like Diodotos of Baktria, or Molon of Media were another centrifugal force. It is not coincidence that many times the Kings did not visit their eastern satrapies. They campaigned in them. Sometimes they were even killed in such campaigns.
How do you translate these internal frictions in game? It's difficult though there are signs that the almighty EB team will improve this part in EB2. Some solutions: Let Alexandreia Eschate and Marakanda rebel. Do not have many forces stationed in you eastern borders. Remember: greek settlers are scarce there (apart from Baktria which is out of your reach) so recruiting lots of klerouchoi phalangitai from said regions is ahistorical. Local forces are readily available but are unreliable (and yes pandodapoi phalangitai are local forces). In fact if you cannot hold a province except by relying on indigenous forces, the honest thing to do is to let it go rebel (adding tens of thousands of population via cheat works wonders). Mercenaries? Well they were used historically but a mercenary-heavy force is often more unreliable than the locals. I prefer reinforcing my eastern front with expeditions from the mainland, every 5-10 years or so, led by the King or his Heir.
All in all be prepared to loose much land in the east. In my game I let most of Persia rebel at some point, gave some provinces to the Ptolemaioi to simulate rebellious Satraps being supported by my arch-enemies and let the Pahlava forge a mighty kingdom at my expense, while donating money to my enemies and using the create unit cheat to help them. That was until Alkimos Syriakos the Majestic reclaimed the lost lands, crushed the Parthian horselords, re-established alliances with the local nobles, gave special privileges to the persian clergy and created the Temple Guard of Persepolis, manned by fearsome young persian warrior priests. He also reformed the government system by appointing two different commanders in each satrapy: the stategos with military duties answering directly to him and the dioiketes with civil powers, who was held in check by a 15 member council of the most influential greek and local nobles.
c) the hellenistic history is a history of political intrigue, of poisoning and knives in the back. Make sure not to miss that. In about 100 years I had staged 2 massive civil wars, each time my empire cut in two. Brother against brother and son against father. The Ptolemaioi are a superb shadow faction for that reason.
You realize that with such pace I played an epic game and around 150 bc I had less provinces that the ones I started with. In the meanwhile I sent expeditions to the Krimaian Bosporus, to Egypt, to Greece, even one to south Italy, trying to help my allies and hinder my enemies. Good times...
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