Why be nice when you can can get the same by being cruel

[Tellos Athenaios]

Who said it's a pattern?

Assuming that there is generally a choice between cruel & nice to make to get what you want to get, yes someone is going to classify you either as “cruel” or as “nice”.

Let's say I go on vacation alone, don't tip at the restaurant, act rude to the cab driver, find a wallet take the money and ditch it instead of trying to return it, etc etc then go back to my home 2000 miles away. Nothing is going to "come around" to bite me--none of my social acquaintances (who I'm always nice to) know. So that reason fails. And I find the assertion that everyone will feel the pangs of conscience to a significant degree doubtful. People are good at rationalizations.

How about someone in a racist town who is polite to the white people and cruel to the black people? Is that going to come back to bite him socially? Is he going to feel guilty about it given his upbringing? Doing the right thing would come back to bite him socially.

Basically, if your reason for being nice is some form of "what goes around comes around" what do you say to my racist? Rejecting the beliefs of the group you belong to will "come around" as well. Telling them they are immoral will "come around". So that reason just leads to "be nice to some groups, be cruel to others, based on what's socially accepted".

And what did you want to get out of your hypothetical cruelty here? That's the whole premise of the thread: there's something you desire to be had.

EDIT: I should perhaps add that I think the topic is really in the title which is a general question quite devoid of specific circumstances. A choice of heuristic in getting what you want: being nice or being cruel, and why would anyone choose the former?