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Originally Posted by Strike For The South:
Tact is lost on you.
Yes it is indeed.Tact is lost on you.
I prefer honesty and integrity. Lying on a daily basis isn't my cup of tea. Keep your bourgeoisie customs to yourself.
Originally Posted by HoreTore:
Yes it is indeed.
I prefer honesty and integrity. Lying on a daily basis isn't my cup of tea. Keep your bourgeoisie customs to yourself.
So simple respect and grooming is out the window? I do not lie when I show someone respect nor is my integrity harmed when I tuck in my shirtYes it is indeed.
I prefer honesty and integrity. Lying on a daily basis isn't my cup of tea. Keep your bourgeoisie customs to yourself.
Originally Posted by HoreTore:
I prefer honesty and integrity. Lying on a daily basis isn't my cup of tea. Keep your bourgeoisie customs to yourself.
+1I prefer honesty and integrity. Lying on a daily basis isn't my cup of tea. Keep your bourgeoisie customs to yourself.
I find often the people that stick with the formal customs etc are actually often bitchy and not nice people, I would rather just have a genuine conversation with someone. Screw niceties, when you have a problem with someone then deal with it, it is disrespectful to them to pretend otherwise.
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
+1
I find often the people that stick with the formal customs etc are actually often bitchy and not nice people,
Well, often people who don't stick with formal customs are not nice people. So I don't know what kind of general conclusion you can make, other than "insincerity is bad". But tact isn't insincerity. If you don't like someones painting for example, insincerity is praising it, tact is not making them feel bad just because you don't like their painting, which can involve giving an honest assessment.+1
I find often the people that stick with the formal customs etc are actually often bitchy and not nice people,
Originally Posted by :
I would rather just have a genuine conversation with someone. Screw niceties, when you have a problem with someone then deal with it, it is disrespectful to them to pretend otherwise.
If you don't respect them, isn't it honest to be disrespectful? :pI would rather just have a genuine conversation with someone. Screw niceties, when you have a problem with someone then deal with it, it is disrespectful to them to pretend otherwise.
Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro:
Well, often people who don't stick with formal customs are not nice people. So I don't know what kind of general conclusion you can make, other than "insincerity is bad". But tact isn't insincerity. If you don't like someones painting for example, insincerity is praising it, tact is not making them feel bad just because you don't like their painting, which can involve giving an honest assessment.
"insincerity is bad" is precisely the point I was making. Of course, not all people that do not bother with formal customs are nice people. I have no idea what percentage of people that bother with such customs are nice when compared with those who don't, there would probably be too many indirectly related factors to get a meaningful statistic.Well, often people who don't stick with formal customs are not nice people. So I don't know what kind of general conclusion you can make, other than "insincerity is bad". But tact isn't insincerity. If you don't like someones painting for example, insincerity is praising it, tact is not making them feel bad just because you don't like their painting, which can involve giving an honest assessment.
Also, tact is a whole different matter from formal customs. There can be overlap but it doesn't have to be so.
Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro:
If you don't respect them, isn't it honest to be disrespectful? :p
Yes. I think everyone is afforded some level of respect as human beings, but beyond that I'm not going to pretend. At least be disrespectful in an open way.If you don't respect them, isn't it honest to be disrespectful? :p
Originally Posted by Sasaki Kojiro:
Well, often people who don't stick with formal customs are not nice people. So I don't know what kind of general conclusion you can make, other than "insincerity is bad". But tact isn't insincerity. If you don't like someones painting for example, insincerity is praising it, tact is not making them feel bad just because you don't like their painting, which can involve giving an honest assessment.
Are you really showing people respect if you refrain from giving constructive criticism, thus taking away their opportunity to progress?Well, often people who don't stick with formal customs are not nice people. So I don't know what kind of general conclusion you can make, other than "insincerity is bad". But tact isn't insincerity. If you don't like someones painting for example, insincerity is praising it, tact is not making them feel bad just because you don't like their painting, which can involve giving an honest assessment.
Originally Posted by Rhyfelwyr:
+1
I find often the people that stick with the formal customs etc are actually often bitchy and not nice people, I would rather just have a genuine conversation with someone. Screw niceties, when you have a problem with someone then deal with it, it is disrespectful to them to pretend otherwise.
Move to the Netherlands, we take pride in bluntness, sparing someones feelings isn't apreciated. It insults us in fact, we feel treated like a fool if you don't speak your mind.+1
I find often the people that stick with the formal customs etc are actually often bitchy and not nice people, I would rather just have a genuine conversation with someone. Screw niceties, when you have a problem with someone then deal with it, it is disrespectful to them to pretend otherwise.
We do?
Originally Posted by Tellos Athenaios:
We do?
Yep, you don't travel much do you.We do?
No, I just think this whole blunt is good sentiment is rather overstated.
A world where everyone states their feelings openly, just so that they don't have to lie....a place where everyone is absolutely candid. Such a world would be a very simple and hassle free place to stay. No trying to read between lines, no sulking friends/girlfriend/relatives.....Plus people will actually learn their faults and shortcoming a lot quicker and either deal with them.....
Then give this be blunt and truthful thing another century or so, and the natural evolution will be people murdering each other in the streets just because they never learned to mask their feelings or keep restraint, and the truthful thing to do is do away with the chap you hate because that is what you want to do.....
I'm not saying that being genuine is wrong, or being frank is wrong, but one must judge as to what should be the limit. For instance in my eyes, being polite, even if one does not give a damn, is not wrong as long as it makes the person in front happy. It's like lying for a good cause...
Then give this be blunt and truthful thing another century or so, and the natural evolution will be people murdering each other in the streets just because they never learned to mask their feelings or keep restraint, and the truthful thing to do is do away with the chap you hate because that is what you want to do.....
I'm not saying that being genuine is wrong, or being frank is wrong, but one must judge as to what should be the limit. For instance in my eyes, being polite, even if one does not give a damn, is not wrong as long as it makes the person in front happy. It's like lying for a good cause...
Originally Posted by Tellos Athenaios:
No, I just think this whole blunt is good sentiment is rather overstated.
Takes a foreigners view. Believe me when I say that the way we interact is kinda 'odd' to outsiders, they are amazed (and often appalled), you don't notice it because you are from here.No, I just think this whole blunt is good sentiment is rather overstated.
http://forum.expatica.com/lofiversio...hp/t85620.html
count the times you think 'what's wrong with that'
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