Hello !@#$%^&*,
1. Chariots are pretty tough. It's been a while since I played RTW, but I'd use pikes and missiles.
2. Is the problem the speed? You can try it step by step first by pausing the game. Make it even easier for yourself and start with skirmisch battles first. Give the enemy army 1 unit and take 3 yourself.
3. It's either a siege tower or a ballista? I think you mean an archer unit inside a siege tower, when the bridge is down, they could shoot I suppose.
4. Pin and backstab.
5. Consider putting some units in those settlements to keep the people loyal.
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