A couple breaks up due to ,eh, outside intervention by one or ones, for the purpose of getting what the outsider wants (a person in the relationship) is that a bad thing?
Curious. Someone I know asked me.
If....
A couple breaks up due to ,eh, outside intervention by one or ones, for the purpose of getting what the outsider wants (a person in the relationship) is that a bad thing?
Curious. Someone I know asked me.
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Depends if he's successful or not.
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A lot of bad things that have happened in history have been successfully made to look good. Like genocide, for example. It's the winners that write history, bro. It's the winners who prosper from their success. You have nothing to lose.
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That's exactly what I said, but with more eloquence :]
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Don't do it!
At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.
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Pretty bad and pretty selfish, if I might add.
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Hvil i fred HoreToreA man who casts no shadow has no soul.
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Its not a nice thing to do, and breaks the bro code, as well as the mate code, but its common enough.
Try to catch some tail.
Originally Posted by TosaInu
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Lol. What makes your ethics so right?
If I knew the guy, absolutely not. It's a break of trust. But I share no loyalty with a stranger.
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I was saying it nicely. But yeah, what you said.
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morals say no, loins say yes.
But in all honesty, I would not do it, but I am a nice person.
TosaInu shall never be forgotten.
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Nice guys finish last.
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IMHO the opening question has far too many unknowns. What sort of couple? How long were they together? Was their relationship doing okay, or were they already circling the drain? Do they have kids? Was it just one of them looking for a little sumthin' sumthin' or were they both wandering?
Furthermore, the way you phrase the question sounds false to me. The couple broke up because of the outsider? It doesn't actually work that way. A couple that has their relationship on a solid footing cannot be broken up by an intervening Lothario. There needs to be something already rotten at the core of the relationship, or at the core of one or both people.
Anyway. Ask again, but with way more specifics.
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More important still, how hot is the girl?
As other people have said above...the bro code applies between friends...not strangers.
"If given the choice to be the shepherd or the sheep... be the wolf"
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"That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"
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That, my friend, is an entirely different matter.
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Not if it's a friend
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Now go get sum!
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There are no morals to uphold in going for women. There is the sanctity of marriage which is universally looked down upon if one cheats with another person, people then try to apply that same principle to all levels of the relationship. That makes sense from one point of view. On the other hand, any bond of marriage is between two individuals only, and it doesn't make sense for outsiders to be held to that code. Especially when the code is applied for relationships between two non married people. The point of dating is to be with someone you think you will be happy with. It is inherently selfish in nature. If you can provide a more fulfilling relationship, then why is it wrong for a woman in any stage of a relationship to switch to the more fulfilling man? Because she made an oath to another person? When divorce occurs for 50% of all marriages it appears that is sacred oath isn't really regarded as one by the public at large.
You can choose whatever path you want to uphold, but you can't really get mad at a competitor ever choosing to go with the opposite path as you and succeeding. All in all you can argue that as long as you are a great partner, there would be no reason for your significant other to break up with you in the first place. After all, making the decision to choose someone else means putting in an investment of time before you really know if this person is truly better.
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Today is opposite day Rhy.
Love your trend of thought.
True point.
Yeah, I learned that the hard way.
Hey, my predcitions came true so far about ppeople who are going to break up and that, and I am like a vulture. This, um, relation, theotically naturally, looks good on paper, but both being 18 like me and the boyfriend not going to college at all can always pose problems if you can't be with your GF all the time, you know. Though the GF buying the one of those fancy $100-$150 Zune Iphones or whatever they are is a good sign they may stick together, but young yet.
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In the meantime, keep hittin' on girls for the practice.
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I had it done to me and Ill tell you, it HURTS.
I wanted to strangle the guy while he slept.
On the Path to the Streets of Gold: a Suebi AAR
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Hvil i fred HoreToreA man who casts no shadow has no soul.
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depends.
if it's to get her away from a dangerous partner/spouse, then fine. but if it's purely for one's sake, then the person doing it is an underhanded fiend.
I was once alive, but then a girl came and took out my ticker.
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You know when people fall in love? Well sometimes they just fall out of love. It happens.
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
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Male pride....
and you are obliged to gave every guy who try to took your precious girls.... an unforgettable lesson... (broke some teeth will help) - evil mode ON
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Oh I fully understand that. What was this regarding to in my post?
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Well, it seems obvious that there are some morals involved. Isn't it clearly wrong to break up a relationship just to sleep with someone?
And if it's wrong for one person to break a promise, than persuading someone to break the promise is clearly suspect morally...although it's not clear cut as far as relationship promises go.
I think what you say about the point of dating is good as far as it goes, but on what basis does the outsider think it will work out between them? I think great caution and care would be required, and a genuine desire for a serious relationship, and no wishful thinking. If a couple is happy, then they should be left to it. The fact that one person may be persuaded (perhaps briefly) doesn't seem like a strong argument. People can be persuaded to do stupid things. I don't think anyone believes it's always wrong (Cary Grant and Catherine Hepburn can do it fine, so...) but it can be done badly, like many things that are immoral.Especially when the code is applied for relationships between two non married people. The point of dating is to be with someone you think you will be happy with. It is inherently selfish in nature. If you can provide a more fulfilling relationship, then why is it wrong for a woman in any stage of a relationship to switch to the more fulfilling man? Because she made an oath to another person?
You can choose whatever path you want to uphold, but you can't really get mad at a competitor ever choosing to go with the opposite path as you and succeeding. All in all you can argue that as long as you are a great partner, there would be no reason for your significant other to break up with you in the first place. After all, making the decision to choose someone else means putting in an investment of time before you really know if this person is truly better.
Basically I think you're forgetting about stupid people when you say there aren't any morals to uphold :p
Off topic, but I doubt this statistic is useful here. The overall relationship percentage may not be very relevant to the relationship in question. What's the rate for people with college degrees who get married after 26? Etc.When divorce occurs for 50% of all marriages it appears that is sacred oath isn't really regarded as one by the public at large.
edit: oh, getting suckered into a discussion that started with a vague question...oh well.
I feel like you missed the point then..Everything.
Last edited by Sasaki Kojiro; 01-10-2011 at 02:34.
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Everything.
There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.
"The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."
Re: If....
Just to sleep with someone? yeah, I would say so. If you genuinely think you could make a better husband/partner/significant other for that girl/guy you care for then that ******* guy/girl she is with now...that's completely iffy.
The trouble with breaking a relationship promise is that the basic promise is that "I am yours and yours only" and we judge on the immorality of breaking such a promise on a very subjective manner. If the woman is unhappy, then we would all agree that she can break the promise and leave. If the woman isn't unhappy but is curious as to if that one guy might have been the one...why is this an immoral breakage of the promise? That is the premise of many romantic comedies where the guy who wants her to break her promise is the "good" guy.
You are true, I am forgetting about stupid people. But are we to dictate our lives and laws and morals according the logic of stupid people? The only real problem I would say is the one you mention of how does the outsider know the strength of the relationship? Forgetting about stupid people again, would have my answer be that any outsider who cares enough to have that woman/man would most likely get to know her first or has known of him/her for a while and is privy to such information. I am basically assuming that this isn't a see woman in bar, attempt to pick up scenario.I think what you say about the point of dating is good as far as it goes, but on what basis does the outsider think it will work out between them? I think great caution and care would be required, and a genuine desire for a serious relationship, and no wishful thinking. If a couple is happy, then they should be left to it. The fact that one person may be persuaded (perhaps briefly) doesn't seem like a strong argument. People can be persuaded to do stupid things. I don't think anyone believes it's always wrong (Cary Grant and Catherine Hepburn can do it fine, so...) but it can be done badly, like many things that are immoral.
Basically I think you're forgetting about stupid people when you say there aren't any morals to uphold :p
I was just using it to support my broader statement about the "goodness" or "badness" of trying to subvert a marriage vow by highlighting how society in general regards it. If the relationship we are specifically talking about has individuals who strongly believe in the sanctity of marriage it still doesn't make much of an impact on the original question of "am I a bad man?" because this question is inherently being asked to all of us, the general public.Off topic, but I doubt this statistic is useful here. The overall relationship percentage may not be very relevant to the relationship in question. What's the rate for people with college degrees who get married after 26? Etc.
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I see....actually, I don't see. Were you insinuating I had experienced some sort of emotional heartbreak over a girl which influenced my point of view to be more cynical?
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@acin: I'd guess that the reason we have it as a hard and fast rule is because so many people do it badly because they are driven be some strong desires...it's like a situation where theory is great but doesn't match up well to reality. We can say, "if you know the strength of the relationship and can see that there are problems and..." etc, but it's a situation where we are susceptible to twisting things to suit what we want. So we need to correct for that by having a strong bias against any interference in a relationship. I mean, you can "genuinely think it would work well" and be completely wrong, and presumably many people are. So you're kind of in the position of arguing for something akin to "but if you genuinely think your driving isn't impaired, it's not wrong to drive after drinking". Sometimes it's true, but you can see where it gets you in trouble.
It does make for a good movie though, because it creates drama and allows contrast between two different people.
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Once again, I will concede that you indeed make more sense then I do.
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