Is it....

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

OK to ask a girl you haven't seen for years but was on good terms with when you last saw her to go to the mall or someplace with you?

[Moros]

I think it is.

[Fisherking]

There has to be more!




Back story!

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

She's cute, she's single and was always friendly. Granted things change in the past almost 7 years since I last saw her, but all I know is she's cute, single and got her as a Facebook friend

[Fisherking]

Sure, there is nothing wrong with asking.

Chances are good!

but that might make rejection, oh, so much worse.

Kidding...just ask.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Because I asked once and she said no, but that was the week before school started, last weekend off, so everyone was moving back to the dorm's, so I'll ask one last time.

[A Nerd]

Bear a rose for doe eyes. It's beautiful man!

[Subotan]

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but if you never get the initiative to be able to decide things like this on your own, you're not going to get any of the experience and, crucially, confidence for getting a girlfriend let alone a proper relationship.

Look at the case study you're talking about. So, you haven't seen her for seven years, I'm assuming you used to be friends, she's single, she's cute; why would you even think twice about whether or not it's "OK"?!? Sure, the way you actually go about doing it you should definitely think about, and going to the mall seems like a good idea, but seriously this should be a no-brainer.

EDIT: Now, actual dilemmas (I'm not giving an example, as you'll know if you're in one later in life) are a different story, but you're better off talking about that with your closest friends than guys on the internet.

[Fisherking]

Set your self up for success. You don’t need to rush your self. Have confidence that it will go well.

It will be fine.

[Peasant Phill]

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but if you never get the initiative to be able to decide things like this on your own, you're not going to get any of the experience and, crucially, confidence for getting a girlfriend let alone a proper relationship.

Look at the case study you're talking about. So, you haven't seen her for seven years, I'm assuming you used to be friends, she's single, she's cute; why would you even think twice about whether or not it's "OK"?!? Sure, the way you actually go about doing it you should definitely think about, and going to the mall seems like a good idea.

If you remember just one post in this thread this should be it. When did asking a girl you used to be friendly with to spend some time together a dilemma? You don't have to seduce her, you don't have to charm her, just ask. And if she says no, then so be it. this doesn't require courage, only the ability to communicate.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

No response, so I take that as a rejection .

[Louis VI the Fat]

No response, so I take that as a rejection .

As a rule of thumb, yes.


Sorry to hear that. Hope you have better luck next time.

[Subotan]

That's too bad. At least you tried though.

[Fisherking]

Maybe you’ll get a late response. Maybe not, but it was worth the try.

[Fragony]

Runned out of girls you knew 6 years ago?

[Megas Methuselah]

Keep the game up, bro.

[The Stranger]

Runned out of girls you knew 6 years ago?

ran out...

The Spelling Police.

[pevergreen]

ran out...

The Spelling Police.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hit the gym, lawyer up and delete your facebook account.

That is my standard advice for everything.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Hit the gym, lawyer up and delete your facebook account.

That is my standard advice for everything.

About to, I'm really starting to share my father's hatred of Facebook.

Keep the game up, bro.

All I can do homie.

Runned out of girls you knew 6 years ago?

Matter of fact, I did.

Maybe you’ll get a late response. Maybe not, but it was worth the try.

Yeah....She going to get the boot off my facebook page .

[A Nerd]

Feeling sentimental over a girl you knew 6 years ago is all fine and dandy, however, even though you have not changed and the woman you desire has not either, well, your memory of her anyway, it would always seem that time always will have a way of changing the appearance of your favorite photograph that you cling to. That lovely woman in the photo has moved off the edges in the years since you last looked at it. Look at it agian in the present you will see that she is gone. You might still be there, unaged and looking fondly to your side. But to your side in said photograph, she is gone. For time swept her away long ago in a tidal ebb, and you remain alone. What looks like you admiring her is merely you gazing out toward the horizon. I think that is what happened.

She is someone else, and you are still right here. What have you become? Trapped in the past with the present merely a distant horizon you have no way of reaching. There is always a regression into the subconcious such that you may touch her again, but I think that is all you have now.

[Togakure]

[pulls up the NIN and Johnny Cash versions of "Hurt" on the 'tube and re-listens to them both]

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

I'm not hurt. Doesn't bother me not one bit. Just toss this one to the pile and move on.

[A Nerd]

[pulls up the NIN and Johnny Cash versions of "Hurt" on the 'tube and re-listens to them both]

Good call!

[Togakure]

I'm not hurt. Doesn't bother me not one bit. Just toss this one to the pile and move on.

I realize you're a tough-nut, ELITECubKingWarman88. My comment was in response to A Nerd's advice, which reminded me of the lyrics of that song.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Yeah I know Toga.

Oh I have been hurt recently, not by this girl though.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I'm not hurt. Doesn't bother me not one bit. Just toss this one to the pile and move on.

Come on, mate. No need to pretend it didn't affect you. It is an obvious dissapointment.

Real men treat a woman with the same amount of respect after she said no as they did before that. Don't say afterwards she's just one for the pile. If you digged this girl, then you digged her.

It's not the end of the world. Unless you are Brad Pitt, you will have to learn to deal with hearing 'no' on a pretty much regular basis. There is not a word women have said to me more often than no. With the possible exception of 'shall I buy these shoes / wink wink will you get them for me or should I get another boyfriend'.

Sometimes 'no' hurts, sometimes not all that much, but either way there is no pretending it wasn't a disspointment.

[Subotan]

Listen to the Frenchman. If there is any nationality on this Earth who you should take advice from, it's Louis', and Louis is a particularly good one for giving out advice about stuff in general. So listen to him.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Come on, mate. No need to pretend it didn't affect you. It is an obvious dissapointment.

Real men treat a woman with the same amount of respect after she said no as they did before that. Don't say afterwards she's just one for the pile. If you digged this girl, then you digged her.

It's not the end of the world. Unless you are Brad Pitt, you will have to learn to deal with hearing 'no' on a pretty much regular basis. There is not a word women have said to me more often than no. With the possible exception of 'shall I buy these shoes / wink wink will you get them for me or should I get another boyfriend'.

Sometimes 'no' hurts, sometimes not all that much, but either way there is no pretending it wasn't a disspointment.

I just don't want to find someone when I'm 30 and not get married till I'm 35 or 40 though.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I just don't want to find someone when I'm 30 and not get married till I'm 35 or 40 though.

I should hope you won't have to.

I think you did the right thing. You reaquainted an old friend, and asked her to hang out with you. That's exactly how these things are supposed to work. Sorry to hear the interest wasn't mutual. At least you tried.


Just keep expessing your interest if you meet other girls you like. I guess this was the main thought behind your 'another one for the pile'.


Do you go to any places were you mingle with girls a bit? Sports? College? Work? That always helps.

If you want my tip: ask some of these girls to help you with a make-over. No really. Ask them to tell you what they think is attractive about you, and what isn't. Tell them to be blunt. You might be surprised at the result. You'd be surpised what a slight change in fashion, hair and favourite conversation subjects could do for succes with women.
Also, if you have any femakle friends, ask them to roleplay 'asking women out' with you. That's always great fun. I knew this girl once. One of our hobbies was to get drunk and practise our skills on each other. From horny looks to pick up lines. Absolute genius, great times. Ah, mostly we went completely over the top within two minutes. Still I could finetune some useful skills.