you guys could always set yourselves some house rules along the lines of some of the hotseat rules designed to rule out battle map exploits.
that way you wouldn't be able to take out huge AI armies with a few horse and the like. You could even play an autoresolve-only game where you aren't allowed to use spies to open the gates and where siege engines are only allowed to open the gates of certain levels of settlement.
this would slow it down and allow the AI to get rolling before you crushed it.
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