The Half Monty [Concluded]

[Askthepizzaguy]

Day Two

5 Khazaar (Romanic, Capt Blackadder, Renata, fluffy, "Askthepizzaguy")
4 Zack (GE, DIY, slashandburn, Csargo)
3 Renata (JHT, Yaropolk, Khazaar)
3 Fluffy (Zack, robbie, classical)
1 God Emperor (Nightbringer**)
--
1 not voting (pever)

Springfield City Hall


Waylon Smithers: "Those responsible for murdering Monty Burns are still at large. I think we should grab someone and make them pay for this crime. It's what Monty would have wanted; swift, brutal revenge."

Moe the Bartender: "Well uh, who do you recommends? We can't let a lynch mob like this go to waste. Let's get to the revengening!"

Groundskeeper Willie: "I think we should get rid of the fat one. Toss him in the school's deep fryer, and cover him with steak sauce and feed 'im to Mister Burns' hounds."

Comic Book Guy: "If that is the best execution you can come up with, then I will be on the internet in precisely 37 seconds blogging my displeasure for all to see."

Barney Gumble: "I think the monkey did it!"

Lisa Simpson: "What monkey, mister Gumble?"

Barney Gumble: "Who are you callin' a monkey, little miss smarty pants?"

Lisa Simpson: "No, I'm asking you, what monkey killed Mister Burns?"

Barney Gumble: "A MONKEY KILLED MISTER BURNS??? RUN AWAY, THERE'S A MURDEROUS MONKEY ON THE LOOSE!!!" *BELCH*

Marge Simpson: "If we have to do this unpleasant business, let's put it to a vote."

Sideshow Mel: "Indeed! The people must decide!"

Chief Clancy Wiggum: "Okay, I've got all the votes here in this box. And I'm sure it hasn't been tampered with, because the lock on the ballot box is unbroken."

Lisa Simpson: "But Chief Wiggum, it wasn't even locked. Someone has probably stuffed the ballot box."

Mayor Quimby: "Well err ahh who would commit that kind of voting fraud? I have faith in the ah people of err Springfield, to vote their conscience, and vote Quimby!"

Lisa Simpson: "But mayor Quimby, this isn't an election, it's an execution."

Mayor Quimby: "I knew that, but uh thank you for reminding me, sweet little girl. Let me just change my vote really quickly then."

*Mayor Quimby scribbles a different name on the piece of paper and shoves it in the ballot box*



Clancy Wiggum: "I've counted the votes, and the official tally is..... five votes for Sideshow Mel, and four votes for...."

Sideshow Mel: "What? This is an outrage! I demand a recount!"

Mayor Quimby: "Once again the people have er ah decided. Throw him in the deep fryer!"

Clancy Wiggum: "Deep fryer? Can't I just shoot him in the face or something?"

Homer Simpson: "Too late, pal! The mob has spoken!"

Seymour Skinner: "Lunchlady Doris, wheel in the industrial-sized fry-o-lator."

A massive vat of boiling grease is brought into the middle of the meeting.

Ralph Wiggum: "That smells yummy. Is he going in the hot tub, daddy?"

Chief Wiggum: "Yes, my little Ralphie. Now you get to see how McDonald's chicken McNuggets are made!"

Ralph Wiggum: "Our dog's breath smells like cat poop!"

Sideshow Mel: "Oh, how it burns my skin! What a horrifying way to shuffle off this mortal coil!"

Groundskeeper Willie: "Ach, shut your noisemaker, you bone-wearin' motor-mouthed pudding cup! That oil isn't even hot enough to kill the E. Coli the chicken nuggets are swimmin' in, you grass-wearin' whistle-blower!"

Sideshow Mel: "Well if it's not hot enough to kill me, what's the point?"

Homer Simpson: "Marge, may I?"

Marge Simpson: "Here you go, homey."


Marge hands Homer the iron frying pan, who promptly bashes Wiggum's face so hard that it makes his nose look like a pig's snout.



Homer Simpson: "That's for arresting Mel Gibson! That man has brought the world nothing but wholesome, family friendly entertainment, like Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ, and Lethal Weapon 4!"

Clancy Wiggum: "OW!!! Was that really necessary?"

Marge Simpson: "Uh, Homey, we're executing Sideshow Mel...."

Homer Simpson: "Who?"

Marge Simpson: "Krusty the Clown's sidekick?"

Homer Simpson: "Oh, Bonehead? I got nothin' against him."

Sideshow Mel: "I always feared this fateful day would come. Cruel fortune..... but I must die with dignity. I have poisoned myself with strychnine, and it should be taking effect rather soon...."

Seymour Skinner: "Oh, sweet, innocent Mel. That oil is practically nothing but strychnine. The school has a bit of a rodent and bird infestation."

Lisa Simpson: "Which shouldn't even kill Sideshow Mel, as the Fox-owned Spring chemical manufacturing plant located next to the Springfield reservoir has been dumping excess strychnine into the town's water supply for decades, and everyone in town has already developed an immunity to the otherwise lethal poison."

Hans Moleman: "Not me..... I always drink bottled water...."

Lisa Simpson: "Well, if you drink any of the major brands that label themselves 'Spring' water, then you're drinking water that's been bottled at the Springfield reservoir, next to the 'Spring' chemical plant. That's why they can avoid lawsuits for false advertising while maintaining a surprisingly low production cost."

Hans Moleman: "I think I'm going to be sick...."

Lisa Simpson: "None of this would have happened if you all had listened to the school essay I wrote for Earth Day entitled 'Spring water, delicious natural refreshment, or toxic sludge?'"

Sideshow Mel: "I can't take this anymore. The child is too much of a know-it-all, even for me!"

Sideshow Mel takes the giant bone out of his hair and smashes his own skull in with it, ending his life.

Khazaar- Sideshow Mel

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sideshow Mel was innocent!

Alive: 15/18


Captain Blackadder
classical_hero
Csargo
Death is yonder
God Emperor
Johnhughthom
Nightbringer
pevergreen
Renata
Robbiecon
Romanic
Slashandburn
TheFluffyOne
Yaropolk
Zack


Dead: 3/18

Askthepizzaguy- Charles Montgomery Burns (Innocent)
Diamondeye- Bart Simpson (Innocent)
Khazaar- Sideshow Mel (Innocent)








Begin Night Two.

And yes, the tally was altered.