Cavalry in Medieval 2 is -far- more powerful than in Europa Barbarorum, in just about any mod.
Yes, charges are trickier to pull off, require more time and more micromanagement. But one good charge destroys an entire enemy infantry unit. (Or cripples several, if the enemy masses levy units against you.)
That weapon switching thing only happens if you are too hasty in trying to charge after withdrawing, or sometimes when the terrain is unsuitable for a charge.
I think Europa Barbarorum hits an excellent balance with charges that no medieval mod has quite managed to duplicate, but if anything cavalry in mêlée are too hard to kill. That cataphract killed by an archer's knife is a rare, rare exception. My good heavy infantry and even spearmen generally struggle against cataphracts for ages without killing more than a couple.
I also frequently fight archers in mêlée for extended periods of time, and using the right kinds of cavalry this tends to work just fine. I avoid spear-armed archers though.
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