How do I come out of this situation without looking like a fool?

[Cowhead418]

I'm currently studying abroad in Vladimir, Russia, and I'm having a great time, I love this country, I love the people, and I love learning the language. Anyway, last Thursday (the 24th), I was in bar with a couple American friends, and while we usually only speak in Russian to each other for the practice, we got lazy last week and conversed in English. A few tables away, a couple Russian girls heard our English and asked us if we were from America. After we responded affirmatively they got all excited at the chance to meet foreigners and invited us to drink with them. One of the girls, Ксюша (Ka-soo-sha), said she had recently been dumped. Well, after drinking for awhile, we ended up making out. A few days later, on Sunday, we met again and I asked her out on a date, which is going to happen today.

However, on Sunday, I found out that my tutor, Svetlana, who I had asked out in the past and have basically been crushing on for the past two months, broke up with her boyfriend. On Thursday, I couldn't hold back and I also asked her out, and we have a date this Thursday. She knows about Ксюша because I asked her for advice on what restaurant to go to for our date, and when Svetlana asked me about her, I said I'd "take care of the situation" (I don't know what this means). I've asked some friends for advice, and they're mixed, some say to just not give a shit and date them both because I'm only here for six more weeks, but others think I should just distance myself from Ксюша, so to not be a dick. I'm at a loss of what to do. I like Svetlana more, but I don't want to tell Ксюша to buzz off either. I also have only seriously dated one girl in the past (she was also a foreigner - Ukrainian, non-native English speaker, I guess I just love Eastern Europeans), so I don't have much love life experience to fall back on, and I've certainly never had this burden of riches before. I am kinda considering the "date them both" option, because I am leaving soon anyway, but I don't come across as an idiot, either.

[Reenk Roink]

If you can manage, both girls at once, aw yeah! If not pick the hotter one of course.

However, if this might turn out the be long term, like you feel that way right now, then go ahead and pick Svetlana even if she isn't as pretty as Kashosha.

Edit: Source is Dr. Sergei Fedorov

[Crazed Rabbit]

If you don't want to feel like a *fool* then you have to choose one.

How to let Ксюша down gently I don't know (assuming you decide to date only Svetlana).

CR

[rajpoot]

Take her out on the first date and let her down gently as to why you can't take her on a second.......
Then maybe write a story about the whole incident.

[Subotan]

This sounds very much like what happened to Scott Pilgrim. Don't do what Scott did.

From my inexperienced point of view, it looks like you're going to come across as a fool whatever you do, as you done at least one thing that's foolish, maybe two. One, you should have dumped Ксюша before asking Svetlana out, and second, a relationship with a tutor doesn't really sound wise.

[Secura]

One, you should have dumped Ксюша before asking Svetlana out, and second, a relationship with a tutor doesn't really sound wise.

That's what happens in the heat of the moment though, you find yourself letting your emotions run away with you!

Cowhead's had a crush on his tutor for a while now, so the minute she's single, he made his move; even if we have never entertained the notion before, the whole rebound thing completely changes our perspectives and we're more likely to be appreciative of the attention. :/

On your second note, couldn't agree more; I'm not sure how much studying he's going to be getting on with now.

[Secura]

So, both Ксюша and Svetlana have recently come out of relationships? You are basically in the rebound zone, then; our emotions are often at their most raw during this period, particularly if the boy dumped us and not the other way around.

Speaking from my own experiences, sometimes I've just wanted to sit in my room with close friends, watch Thelma and Louise and eat junk food... on other occasions, I have thought "what the hell" and had a girly night out in my favourite clubs, ending up doing things that I hope my parents never find out about.

The very last thing that any girl in this situation will want to hear is that you've found someone else to have fun with; with all the mixed emotions about her recent breakup, her self-esteem doesn't want to suffer another hit in such a manner, so you'll need to play it tactfully.

I suggest you go on the date, see how it goes and if you like the lass; don't mention Svetlana at all, and instead insinuate that you don't want to get involved when you only have six weeks left in Russia; if that doesn't particularly faze her, well... perhaps you should count yourself lucky that you have such a knack with the ladies over there, have your cake and eat it.

You're going to get that advice alot, I think. :P