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Thread: My story.

  1. #1

    Default My story.

    Hello all,Since I saw the Mead hall is dead.I have deicided to post my story here.Please reawaken the The Mead Hall!!!!

    {b}Introduction
    Feudal Japan
    1545.
    ‘’Beauty and Harmony, all governed by one eternal Law, all that begins must end, the reign of the old Shogunute is over’’.
    This is Sengoku jidai, the age of the country at war. For 237 years the Ashikaga shogunate has ruled from Kyoto, bringing peace and harmony. Great power and splendour was theirs, but in 1467.The Onin War(Civil War) of 10 years led to the fall of the old Shogunate.Once the power of the Old Ashikaga Shogunate falied,the warlords of Japan could not be contained, forming clans that eventually led to Japan being divided. The Country is divided into clans fighting for the place to become Shogun

    But who will be victorius?

    Ten legendary leaders will fight for the battle to become Shogun.But only one will rise to become Shogun.The Takeda are a brave and proud clan, masters of the horse. The Warhorses are famed across the land for their superiority and power; thundering across the plains they are equal to the armies of Hell. Takeda Shingen has raised the Takeda to attain their former glories.And now they hold the power necessary to dominate Japan. Perhaps one day a Takeda could become Shogun?
    {/b}


    To become Shogun.

    Our Story begins with the Takeda.
    Chapter 1
    Kai Province.
    The Home of the Takeda Clan.

    Chapter 1
    Kai Province.
    The Home of the Takeda Clan.

    The Bird flew across the rising sunset,a deep yellow rose from the dark lanterns of the earth.It moved to the right to get a perfect angle to balance.But the wind fought against it.Each time it flew the wind blew.This went on for hours until it grow exhausted.

    Takeda Shingen,damiyo and ruler of Kai province, watched as a bird flew, gliding through the air, like a ship sailing calmly in the sea. The bird froze as an arrow pierced through his heart,its body fell fast on the ground,its head twisted and body broken . It lay on the ground, two hunters hurried to where the bird lay, and they took it.Takeda smiled. In war you must observe, if not, he thought, then you would be dead, and that was the bird meant, he who is not aware, will be finished.He then swayed away and went into the throne room. His 24 generals dressed in their samurai armour appeared .He sat down on his chair cross-legged.

    Takeda Shingen nodded. His most trusted General Akiyama Nobutomo bowed low and then rose.
    ‘’What news General?’’
    General Nobutomo replied ‘’The Shinano Damyio’s have assembled a large army, Daimyo Takeda,their force to be estimated is 12000 Shinano warriors.

    Takeda gave a happy smile.

    Nobutomo pulled a concerned look.
    ’'My lord......‘’.Takeda interrupted him.

    ’'General,we are masters of the Horse, The Warhorses are famed across the land for their superiority and power; thundering across the plains they are equal to the armies of Hell’’.

    ‘’We shall defeat them; we will need 3000 men to be precise’’.

    Nobutomo spluttered.
    ’’3000 warriors my lord,do you not think that is too small to defeat the Shinano Army?’’.

    ‘’General do you question me?’’
    ‘’No,my lord’’,Nobutomo pulled a straight face.

    ’’Good,we'll need archers,Yari Ashaguri,Cavarly,and Samurai’’.

    Nobutomo's face grew angrier,his eyes twitching and his mouth tight.

    ''My Lord,I beg you to you think.....three thousand men is not enough to face a one hundred thousand strong army!You must be mad!''.

    Takeda laughed.

    ''That is our force General.We don't have as many men,we can only raise three thousand men to be precise''.

    Nobutomo blinked his eyes,His face was in surprise.

    ''My lord....It was....''

    Takeda turned his head and stared at Nobutomo coldly

    ''Did you not think I would find out?Do you think I am a mere fool?Or do you think my brother was more suitable for the throne of Kai,I hear there were rumours of killing me?''.

    ''My Lord!That is not what I mean!I am loyal to you no matter what!I...we...did not reveal the numbers because it would....would..damage your confidence.You expected more men but we could only raise three thousand''.

    Takeda bowed his head like a wise man

    ''Hmm..It does not matter,what we do now is march forward and crush the Shinano army at dawn,is that clear?

    Nobutomo bowed and replied
    ‘’It shall be done my lord’’.

    Nobutomo bowed again and rose, he turned his back on Takeda,The other Generals did the same and they walked out of the throne room.Takeda watched ,then thought for hours.


    {b}Shinano province.{/b}

    The Damyio of Shinano province Ogasawara Nagatoki watched as he saw the Takeda Army encamped.His horse Yokoshui was scared, he sensed seeing the might of the Takeda Horses, it was true that they were real masters of the horse.His Generals, Suwa and Murakami stared at the Young Shingen, dressed in his famed red samurai amour.

    Suwa said ‘’This young man that threatens us shall be destroyed my lord’’.

    Ogasawara stared.He nodded his head.
    ’’We shall see young Takeda,the strength of your might’’.

    ’’Murakami’’?Ogasawara ordered.’’Yes my lord?’’ replied Murakami

    ’’Ready the Army ,we march at noon’’.’’Of course my Lord’’.Murakami bowed and then left the 2 of them.

    {b}Takeda HQ{/b}.
    The Tent was alive,buzzing with noises,The rest of the army was asleep and resting,while Takeda and his Generals discussed the plan to defeat the enemy.

    Takeda Shingen was seated among his Generals.Nobutomo explained his plan as everyone watched on the table,where the battle plan map was layed, as he dictated his plan to defeat the Shinano army.
    ‘’I will be leading the Infantry section; it will be cut into 3 columns ,The Yari Ashaguri and the Loan Yari Ashaguri shall be making the first line of defence, our Samurai will be the strength of our Infantry column as they will fill out the right and left flanks, the Naginta Samurai will be in the middle’’.

    Nobutomo turned his head around to see everyone was listening. ’’The Cavalry will be hidden in the bushes ,one here.He pointed to the map’s symbol ,two bushes. ’And one there, Our Archers should be in the first lines,spread thin out and in loose formation,We shall begin the first stage’’.

    ‘’First.Our Archers will fire flaming arrows while we wait for the enemy to come, if you look at the centre where will they put their strongest forces’’?Nobutomo looked at Takeda.

    Takeda thought for a moment, then made his reply.

    ’’In the right and the left flanks, General Nobutomo.Nobutomo nodded.

    ’’I see that my hard work has worked off you, you will one day be Japan’s true hero, I am sure of it’'.

    ‘’Now back to the point, If the enemy will attack us from the right flanks, we shall respond back, how?

    ‘’They will send their cavalry to attack our samurai,at that moment, we strike! Our Archers shall fire!’’.

    ‘’Now It is up to young Takeda to complete this’’.Nobutomo bowed.’’This shall be your finest moment my lord’’.Takeda said nothing as he stared at Nobutomo and his generals. Then he raised his hand and stabbed the dagger on the map of Japan.
    ‘’Shinano Province will be ours by torrmow,Soon all Japan will be under my rule, Our archers will fire first,.I want the Cavalry hidden in the trees. The Archers will be firing until we run out of arrows.The enemy should be damaged at that moment, they shall send their entire warrior force against us’’.

    ‘’The Yari and Loan Ashaguri will be charging first then the Naginta Samurai shall make a heavy impact and our main force the Katana Samurai will fight when we are losing the battle. Our Cavalry will impact when both sides are at end’s equal. The Shinano will send their horses towards us. We then strike with our hidden Cavarly,the light and heavy will do the work’’.

    ‘’I laugh at the stupidity of our enemies, for them this will be nothing more than a one, two, three step, first they will engage us, second they will over flank the right but not the left, then crush us by surrounding us, I say’’.

    Takeda looked up, his head straight and calm, his eyes staring at the Generals among him.’ ‘They will be defeated, and by one day, The Shinano Province will be ours!’’.

    Takeda Shingen rose from his chair and pulled out his Katana Sword. He then walked out of the tent.His hands firm on his Katana sword, He then stopped, and shouted.

    ’’ SOLDIERS!!! SOLDIERS!!!

    Men brust of their tents to see what the commtion suddenly burst out.Takeda Shingen watched and then smiled, he continued .

    ‘’I bought you here today, to fight. But why you may ask is our army is so small? I shall tell you why, Soliders of the Takeda!I have bought the clan to its former Glory, we shall fight, like hell! Like hell I tell you!!!Our Cavalry will shake the earth as we tremble! I say, it is better to listen to orders! That way. True soldiers! That way, we will win, with courage, think of your loved ones! Think of what will happen If we lose tomorrow! Think! We shall be destroyed! But let us put those words alone, For I promise you by today and torrmow,we will reach the gates of Kyoto itself! We will crush the ones who oppose us, we will last in Glory and Victory for ever, Long live the Takeda!!!

    With that he raised his Katana sword high in the Air. The Army cheered.Meanwhile Ogasawara and Suwa watched as the Young Takeda gave his orating speech.

    ‘’I would not underestimate this lad, this young Takeda, Suwa.Ogasawara replied with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Suwa nodded his head and said

    ‘’Do not worry my lord, the Takeda have bought only three thosuand men. It won’t be enough to defeat a large army, let alone the Shogun in Kyoto!’’.

    Ogasawara did not reply, as he watched Takeda, then he left. Suwa followed him.

    {b}The Battle
    Early Dawn{/b}.
    ‘’Those who use an army skilfully do not raise troops twice and do not provide food 3 times’’.
    -Sun Tzu ,The Art Of War

    The Takeda Army was drawn up. And what a sight it exposed, thought Takeda.As he zoomed his eyes over to the front line, he could see the Bow Ashaguri stretched in a thin long line,their red armour gleaming off the sunlight as they readied their bows.

    He the glanced at the Samurai, Many were waiting and some were training. The Naginta Samurai would be useful in the battle as to be proven, he then turned his head to the Yari Ashaguri training and sharpening their spears. The Cavalry were at the back, he noticed, and they would make a devoting impact.The Shinano Army had arrived, he observed seeing the large army facing him. He turned his head to Nobutomo.

    ’’General, prepare the Army’’.

    ‘’Of course, Daimyo Takeda’’.

    The Takeda army formed in the formation of the Spear point. The bow ashiguri were placed at the front. The Loan and Yari Ashaguri at the middle, and the Samurai,Naginta samurai at the back, the Cavalry at all sides.The Shinano Army had thousands of Samurai and Yari Ashaguri,Bow Ashaguri and Light Cavarly.

    ‘’Light Cavalry, what they do think of us? ’

    said one of Takeda’s Generals.Takeda nodded his head.

    ’’You see General, they underestimate us!’’.

    Both Armies stopped.

    The Takeda Bow ashaguri formed into two straight lines.They waited as the Shinanao sent their samurai forward.When they had them in clear sight,they fired,kept on firing.

    Suwa watched as his samurai force were being cut down. ’’This is not meant to be!!!’’.Suwa shouted.The Shinano light Cavalry immidealty charged at the Takeda Archers. The Takeda Yari Ashaguri moved forward. The Archers retreated back. And what was very still much of the Shinano Samurai charged with the light Cavalry charging as fast as ever.

    Youshi Tujo, commander of the Yari Ashaguri seeing that the fast charge of the Shinano force was going to make a heavy impact. ’’Men, form Spear wall!!’’.He ordered.The Yari Ashaguri moved quickly into the spear wall formation.The Light Cavalry charged first moving deep into the formations of the spear wall, but they were cut down easily as the sharp spears pierced their amour and many fell of their horses. By then the Shinano Samurai arrived, exhausted.

    What they saw was a large force of Yari Ashaguri and a entire army facing them.

    Their Commander charged so did the others. The Takeda Samurai came out of nowhere and cut the Shinano Samurai to pieces. Suwa observing all of this immidealty broke into anger. He screamed and kicked the tables.Suwa calmed down.

    And in that moment he raised his sword high then plunged it down to the ground. He looked at Murakami.’’Send the army forward, we attack their flanks now .Daimyo Ogasawara send the Cavalry now!!!’’.Murakami and Ogasawara nodded and walked to their horses.Murakami raised the first hand.The Shinano Army charged. The Shinano archers fired. The Cavalry of The Shinano galloped fast.
    Takeda Shingen smiled.

    ‘’Generals;it seems our plan is going well’’.Nobutomo nodded and Takeda’s other generals went to their posts.The Army adopted a defensive formation. The Takeda Bow Ashaguri now spread again a thin line fired.The Shinano Army was being cut to pieces.

    No matter the samurai fell they still charged. Both armies met. The Takeda Infantry were charging and hacking the Shinano warriors to pieces .But more and more Shinano Samurai and Shinano Yari Ashaguri came forward, replacing their fallen comrades.

    Nobutomo sheathed his sword out and with his horse charged down at the battle, 100 cavalry or so accompanied him, their swords gleaming as the horses galloped fast down the hill. The Shinano Cavalry apon seeing the advancing Takeda Cavalry rode forward to meet them.

    Takeda looked at the entire battle,men were dying by the minutes,Cavalry were coming and going,some falling and the Yari Ashaguri of both sides fighting well equally.

    Takeda’s other General Naitō Masatoyo touched Takeda’s shoulder.Takeda turned around.’’Yes General?’’.

    ’I think Nobutomo is in trouble my lord.It would be wise to get the rest of the army in the battle.We can’t keep with the Shinano army.

    Takeda turned back. ’’You underestimate the enemy Masatoyo,The time is not right to intervene ,If we intervene now! And I mean now, we will lose. No General.I would rather wait,we must let the battle slip into our enemy’s hands. Only then we will strike!!’’.
    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 06-25-2011 at 18:13.

  2. #2
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    Great story! While the Mead Hall is not a hectic place when it comes to discussion, people visit there and read the stories of other people, so i am moving this story there to the company of other stories.To make it easier for people to find their way there. I will leave a redirect which they can follow.
    Last edited by Kagemusha; 04-14-2011 at 20:06.
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  3. #3

    Default Re: My story.


    Here's a pic for my story!

    Thank you for liking my story,Kagemusha.

    Aslo,I suggest you listen to Red Warrior on youtube while reading this,it greatly makes you feel you're reading the story.

    Aslo,could you give me some critism?Some ways to improve it?Thanks?

    But the Mead halls deads,thats the prob :(
    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-15-2011 at 19:42.

  4. #4

    Default Re: My story.

    Part 2:

    Suwa watched as his samurai force were being cut down. ’’This is not meant to be!!!’’.Suwa shouted.
    The Shinano light Cavalry immidealty charged at the Takeda Archers. The Takeda Yari Ashaguri moved forward. The Archers retreated back. And what was very still much of the Shinano Samurai charged with the light Cavalry charging as fast as ever.Youshi Tujo, commander of the Yari Ashaguri seeing that the fast charge of the Shinano force was going to make a heavy impact. ’’Men, form Spear wall!!’’.He ordered.The Yari Ashaguri moved quickly into the spear wall formation.
    The Light Cavalry charged first moving deep into the formations of the spear wall, but they were cut down easily as the sharp spears pierced their amour and many fell of their horses. By then the Shinano Samurai arrived, exhausted. What they saw was a large force of Yari Ashaguri and a entire army facing them.

    Their Commander charged so did the others. The Takeda Samurai came out of nowhere and cut the Shinano Samurai to pieces. Suwa observing all of this immidealty broke into anger. He screamed and kicked the tables.Suwa calmed down. And in that moment he raised his sword high then plunged it down to the ground. He looked at Murakami.’’Send the army forward, we attack their flanks now .Daimyo Ogasawara send the Cavalry now!!!’’
    Murakami and Ogasawara nodded and walked to their horses.Murakami raised the first hand.The Shinano Army charged. The Shinano archers fired. The Cavalry of The Shinano galloped fast.
    Takeda Shingen smiled.

    ‘’Generals;it seems our plan is going well’’.Nobutomo nodded and Takeda’s other generals went to their posts.The Army adopted a defensive formation. The Takeda Bow Ashaguri now spread again a thin line fired.The Shinano Army was being cut to pieces. No matter the samurai falling they still charged. Both armies met. The Takeda Infantry were charging and hacking the Shinano warriors to pieces .But more and more Shinano Samurai and Shinano Yari Ashaguri came forward, replacing their fallen comrades.Nobutomo sheathed his sword out and with his horse charged down at the battle, 100 cavalry or so accompanied him, their swords gleaming as the horses galloped fast down the hill. The Shinano Cavalry apon seeing the advancing Takeda Cavalry rode forward to meet them.
    Takeda looked at the entire battle,men were dying by the minutes,Cavalry were coming and going,some falling and the Yari Ashaguri of both sides fighting well equally.

    Takeda’s other General Naitō Masatoyo touched Takeda’s shoulder.Takeda turned around.’’Yes General?’’.’’I think Nobutomo is in trouble my lord.It would be wise to get the rest of the army in the battle.We can’t keep with the Shinano army.Takeda turned back. ’’You underestimate the enemy Masatoyo,The time is not right to intervene ,If we intervene now! And I mean now, we will lose. No General.I would rather wait,we must let the battle slip into our enemy’s hands. Only then we will strike!!’’.Masatoyo gave a angry look.’’What is wrong with you my lord???? Do you not think intervening in battle is important or are you a coward?’’.Takeda tightened his fist and slammed Masatoyo to the ground with his fist.‘’YOU WILL NOT CALL ME A COWARD YOU HEAR THAT?WHEN I SAY WHAT I SAY ,I MEAN IT RIGHT!Now is not the time to intervene, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!’’.

    Takeda breathed heavily, fury growing in him. Masatoyo got up, bowed then left.
    Takeda turned towards his young brother Takeda Nobushige.’’Send in the Naginta Samurai, Nobushige,aslo send the Samurai and reinforce the Right and left flanks’’.Nobushige bowed.’’Of Course Brother’’.Nobushige raised the banner of the Takeda.Naginta Samurai and more Takeda Samurai charged.The right and left flanks were won back by the Takeda samurai.Suwa moved his entire army to attack the and left and right flanks.Very soon,the battle was going to the Shinano side.Takeda sensing it was the right time,got on his horse, sheathed his sword and charged.Thousands of Katana Cavalry of the Takeda charged,Yari Cavalry charging.They charged deep.Takeda Shingen rising his horse up and sword at hand he galloped to towards the enemy.The Shinano Army resisted a long time,but more and more Takeda Cavalry came.And for the Shinano it was over .They retreated.The Takeda Army followed to cut them down.

    Suwa shouted to his men to regroup but none obyed.Murakami fled. The Shinano Daimyo bravely fought to the death.Takeda lunged a spear in him,and the Shinano Damiyo fell to the ground.
    Suwa in frustration was fighting to the death,his bodyguard defending him.The Young Takeda stepped of his horse and ran to Suwa. Suwa saw takeda and lunged his sword at Takeda.Takeda avoided the lunging, and pulled with great might his katana sword to Suwa’s sword,His sword fell to the ground, and Takeda kicked Suwa to the ground. He then made Suwa stand on his legs.Suwa looked at Takeda.’’When the time comes Young Takeda…I shall see you die’’.’’That maybe General Suwa,but for now,you must repsect your ancestors’’.Takeda smiled and with his sword,cut off Suwa’s head.Suwa’s head fell to the ground rolling.Nobutomo,the Generals and the rest of the army had come back,after taking a couple of Shinano warriors as prisonors and cutting down the rest of the fleeing army of the Shinano.Nobutomo got of his saddle and walked to Takeda.He looked at Suwa,then Takeda.He bowed.The Generals and the army bowed.
    ‘’My lord’ .’Replied Nobutomo.’’You have given a great victory today for all of us.Me and My men bow to you’’.He then shouted.’’LONG LIVE TAKEDA SHINGEN!!!’’.The Army shouted the slogan.‘’We march on Shinano Province by torrmow!!!’.said Takeda Shingen.The Army again cheered.It was night and soon the army was celebrating,drinking their sake.
    Takeda was walking with Nobutomo.‘’Nobutomo,tell me,we march on the Shinano capitial torrmow,is it well defended?’’.’’No my lord it is not,fact is there is only 1034 men there’’.’’This is good news General,We shall have a early victory torrmow.With that Nobutomo bowed.

    Chapter 5
    Shinano Captial.


    Shinano Captial.
    Takato Castle
    The Shinano Daimyo’s son Ukesi was watching as the Takeda troops were attacking the castsle and his troops fought desperately to repel the Takeda forces.He nodded to his commander.The Commander drew his sword and with a large force charge down to repel the Takeda Troops.
    The Takeda troops climbed the castle walls.The Shinano Archers were proving to be a far greater threat than the Shinano force.

    Nobutomo with his horse ran to where the Takeda Bow Samurai were forming up.Accompying Nobutomo were the Cavarly archers ,each one firing a shot at the Shinano Archers.The Bow Samurai extended their bows to a long length then fired.The Shinano archers were hit badly.Many of them fell.On the wooden walls of where the Archers were firing,The Takeda Samurai and Naginta samurai were quickly taking the castle.Ukesi fought bravely.His defending force were cut down.They,the Shinano were defeated.Very soon,Ukesi stood on his legs.He weared a white dress.He took out a dagger,and plunged it in his stomach.A samurai raised his sword and cut Ukesi’s head off.



    Aslo ,here's a picture that would go well for Takeda
    Shingen


    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-16-2011 at 16:48.

  5. #5

    Default Re: My story.

    WILL SOMEONE JUST LOOK AT THIS AND GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK??????

  6. #6
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    I have been reading it and think it is good. I am not and don't consider myself an accomplished writer, therefore, I can't give any constructive feedback. I will give you an 'A' for effort though! :)
    Silence is beautiful

  7. #7

    Default Re: My story.

    thanks for enjoying it!

  8. #8
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    As long as you have something to share, I will read it! :)
    Silence is beautiful

  9. #9

    Default Re: My story.

    kay

  10. #10

    Default Re: My story.

    Chapter 6.
    North Shinano
    Takato Castle.
    Takeda walked around the room.Nobutomo walked in and bowed.’’Sire, Uehara is taken; we have done the surprise attack. Suwa is taken. Now all that remains is to march on Hida’’.Takeda looked at Nobutumo ‘’Hida, that’s under the control of Anegakojii, what news? ’Sire They have already assembled a force and they will be attacking us soon but their numbers are not many’’. ’’How long do we have? .’If I may, 1 month, the Anegakojii don’t have enough men to attack us’.

    ’’Nobutomo?

    ‘’Yes my lord? ‘’Prepare the army, recruit more Yari Ashaguri and some Bow Ashaguri, they should be ready when I want them, if the Anegakojii attack’’.
    ‘’Of course my lord’’.
    Nobutomo bowed then left.

    Chapter 7.
    Anegakojii Lands.
    Anegakojii army camp headquarters.

    General Anegakojii stood with his generals, the army had already camped and many of the new recruits had already joined the Anegakojii force.

    His 3 generals, Yuso, Anegakojii Hida, and Ishida followed him to the Main tent.They entered the tent and sat down on the chairs.
    General Anegakojii stood,but not seated.‘’Generals’’. He said.‘’There has been a major disruption of the Natural cycle. Some might say The world has fallen, which it has indeed. I have come here to turn things back to its normal position! That young takeda has taken North Shinano! The Shinano lands will be destroyed soon if we do not react now. That devil of a whore!I suggest only one thing. We go and take North Shinano back! We restore its rightful owners back!

    Yuso raised his hand up

    ‘’I would not say this ,but we don’t have enough men’’.

    ‘’Yes,Yuso that is why we are camped!’’.

    Yuso raised both his hands up

    ‘’Just saying’’.

    ‘’We have 2456 men at the moment; Generals of the Anegakojii Clan .I tell you this now. That young lad Takeda will one day be the scrounge of Japan.He will be at the gates of Kyoto himself. He will take everything. Which is why it is necessary to defeat him, we will be in Kyoto not him! Ishida how many men do you have?

    ‘’300 men General Anegakojii’’.

    ‘’Yuso’’?

    ‘’As usal,Angeakojii-san two hundred men’’.

    Anegakojii did the mathematics. ’’That equals 2856 men, not enough, we need more men. How much do the Takeda have?
    ‘’At the moment, General only two thousand three hundred men ’’.Ishida replied.

    Anegakojii nodded his head.

    ‘’Then all is set, we march on dawn, to the Angegakojii Clan!’’.

    Chapter 8.

    North Shinano.

    Two Takeda Yari Ashaguri stood on the castle entrance and watched the sun rise. A large army suddenly came out of nowhere displaying the banner of the Anegakojii.Ushj kaeda one of the Yari Ashaguri ran fast.He ran to the throne room where Takeda Shingen was talking with Nobutomo.
    He crashed into the throne room, tried and exhausted.Nobutomo raised his voice.Takeda put his hand up.Nobutomo said nothing and didn’t move.
    ‘’What news? What has happened solider?’’.

    ‘’Damyio Takeda’’ groaned Ushj ‘’The Anegakojii have arrived, oh damn not an arrow in my back!’’.
    Takeda looked at Nobutomo.

    ‘’Nobutomo prepare quickly, get the men to the defences now!’’.

    Nobutomo quickly got out of the room.

    Takeda took Ushj to another room. He put Ushj on the bed. ’Now you stay here.My sister will treat you well’’.
    Takeda’s sister Hunu entered.Takeda looked at Hunu .’’Take good care of him, sister’’.Hunu bowed.Takeda ran out of the room, he left the main castle and came to see The Takeda troops fighting a whole load of incoming Anegagkojii troops. Where was Nobutomo?He glanced at Nobutomo charging with a handful of Samurai Retainers and Katana Samurai charging at the Anegagkojii Naginta Samurai.His father’s General Yamamoto Kansuke waved to Takeda .Takeda waved back.Yamamoto ran to Takeda.

    ’’My lord, come quickly, the troops are losing morale every minute, we need your help now!’’.

    Takeda quickly scanned the battle.

    ‘’Get the Bow Ashaguri now and get my bodyguard to defend them,now!’’.

    Takeda got on his horse.The Bow Ashaguri quickly formed and the bodyguard dismounted and ran to the areas where they would be defending the archers.The Bow Ashaguri fired.The Anegagkojii Yari Ashaguri were hit.The Bow ashguri quickly kept on firing.The Anegagkojii troops of the left side broke through the Takeda Resistance and charged at the Bow Ashaguri.Takeda Charged at the Anegagkojii troops.The Anegagkojii troops were thrown back by the powerful charge of Takeda Shingen on his horse.Takeda skilfully cut down many of the remaning Anegagkojii troops.
    Meanwhile Yamamoto Kansuke and Nobutomo had turned the battle into their favour. The Anegagkojii troops began to retreat as more and more Takeda Samurai charged and cut them down. The most striking thing was Takeda Shingen.Everyone watched as him as he killed and galloped with his horse to defend his archers, he imposed a striking magnifance with his horse.

    Takeda Charged at the Anegagkojii troops. The Anegagkojii troops were thrown back by the powerful charge of Takeda Shingen on his horse.Takeda skilfully cut down many of the remaining Anegagkojii troops.
    Meanwhile Yamamoto Kansuke and Nobutomo had turned the battle into their favour. The Anegagkojii troops began to retreat as more and more Takeda Samurai charged and cut them down. The most striking thing was Takeda Shingen.Everyone watched as him as he killed and galloped with his horse to defend his archers, he imposed a striking magnifance with his horse
    Then Takeda turned his horse and charged towards the Anegagkojii troops.The Anegagkojii troops suddenly throwed their weapons to the ground and ran off in cowardness.

    General Anegagkojii and his 3 Generals mounted on their horses saw their army retreating from the castle.
    ‘’What is this????’’.impuded General Anegagkojii.
    ‘’They should not be retreating!!!’’.

    ‘’Yuso,send in your men.Hida and Ishida send your men into! We will storm that castle now!!!’’.

    They sheathed their swords and rode to the castleCavarly ,more Katana Samurai and Katana Cavarly moved along with the Generals .They reached the castle. The Generals quickly dismountedand climbed the walls.




    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-20-2011 at 14:00.

  11. #11
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    I am enjoying it thus far Takeda. :)
    Silence is beautiful

  12. #12

    Default Re: My story.

    :)

    Why is your name Jujubee?

    and why do you have this:Another Ubiquitous Anne?

  13. #13
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    Some things are better kept a secret. ;)
    Silence is beautiful

  14. #14

    Default Re: My story.

    hmm,one way or the other,I will find out....

  15. #15

    Default Re: My story.

    They sheathed their swords and rode to the castle ,more Katana Samurai and Katana Cavarly moved along with the Generals .They reached the castle. The Generals quickly dismounted and and the troops quickly climbed the walls.

    The Takeda drove back from the castle walls.Takeda ordered Yamamoto to make a defensible formation.Before the Anegagkojii could charge the withdrawen Takeda.Takeda charged at them.He cut them down.

    General Anegagkojii raised his hand up.

    ''Ah General Anegagkojii''.Takeda got of his horse walked to Anegagkojii.''Your army is destroyed Anegagkojii ,I suggest you die by your dagger''.Anegagkojii sheated his sword.''You're going to be DEFEATED!!!'' Anegagkojii shouted.

    Anegagkojii raised his Katana sword and plunged down at Takeda.Takeda blocked the dive and kicked Anegagkojii to the ground.Anegagkojii groaned and got up.Anegagkojii slowly withdrew back both his hands on his katana sword.Takeda glared at Anegagkojii.Anegagkojii raised his Katana sword high and let out a sharp yell and charged.Takeda watched slowly.Anegagkojii advancing further.Takeda watched slowly.Anegagkojii coming more further.The time was set.


    Takeda sheathed his sword fast with precise precision.Anegagkojii shouted and screamed.Anegagkojii rotatoed his sword to the left to get a good cut head sweep.Takeda blocked using his katana sword.Anegagkojii staggered back his rhythm broken.Takeda's eyes fixed on Anegagkojii's movements.Both of them circled around each other.

    Anegagkojii made the first move.He parried two attacking blows.Takeda moved his feet two times.Each time blocking Anegagkojii's sword.They then became engrossed in a endless void of their two swords dancing like the wind.The troops of both sides had stopped fighting and watched as Anegagkojii rotated Takeda's sword round in a circle.

    Takeda's sword stabbed the ground.Anegagkojii sensing Takeda weak's positon kicked Takeda to the ground.Takeda fell hard.Takeda struggled to get up.Anegagkojii gave a grin and kicked Takeda around many times.Takeda saw his sword next to him and seeing Anegagkojii's next move.Takeda pulled the sword and stabbed at Anegagkojii's ankle.Anegagkojii screamed.

    Takeda used his feet and kicked Anegagkojii's legs.Anegagkojii's legs slumped.Anegagkojii screamed again,loud in pain.Takeda got up.He took Anegagkojii's sword and his sword.He raised them high in the air and plunged it at Anegagkojii's stomach.Anegagkojii froze then spurted out blood.He screamed and gurgled in pain as more blood spurted out of his mouth.

    Anegagkojii stood there for a while withering in pain.He tried to get up struggling.Finally with not much power left in his body.He gathered all the strength he had left and found his sword.He raised it and charged at Takeda.This was the moment Takeda was waiting for.Anegagkojii's sword touched Takeda's neck.

    Takeda moved fast before the sword could completely cut his head .Takeda plunged his sword into Anegagkojii's stomach.Anegagkojii froze.Then his whole body lost weight.The body fell fast on the ground.


    Takeda bowed his head in respect.''You were a worthy opponent ''.He muttered.

    Ishida and Yuso looked around not knowing what to do.Hida outraged screamed and shouted.Hida ran towards Takeda.Takeda waitited as Hida ran fast.Hida came.Takeda gave a grin as he suddenly moved and stabbed his dagger on Hida's neck.Hida screamed.Takeda caught hold of Hida's neck and slammed Hida hard to the ground.

    Hida lay on the ground.His back facing Takeda.Blood poured out.Takeda looked at Yuso and Ishida.Yuso and Ishida both looked at each other and nodded.They walked gaining speed every minute.Takeda watched as their swords were perfectly raised.Their bodies still in that motion as their legs carried them.Nobutomo took his sword out of his scabbard.Takeda looked at Nobutomo .Takeda nodded .Nobutomo's sword went back into its scabbard.

    Ishida and Yuso still charged.Takeda walked and put both his hands on his Katana sword and stood still.He watched as Yuso and Ishida came more closer.Takeda observed their movements.He put his right leg back.Ishdia came closer.Yuso slowing but still moving.Takeda observed again.He closed his eyes.The Way of the Samurai he had learned as a child had not left him.He opened his eyes.He saw two swords flashing at him.

    Takeda moved at once.He saw's Ishida threating sword and Yuso's slow sword.He attacked Yuso fast giving no time for Ishida to react.Yuso staggered back.Takeda then turned his body fast and sliced Ishidia's hand holding his sword.Ishdia screamed.His sword dropped and he with great pain bended down.Takeda could now turn on Yuso .

    Yuso and Takeda let out a sharp yell and they both charged into each other.Both bodies collided their armour producing a sharp noise .Takeda pulled his sword and stabbed at Yuso's back.It was a poor attack.As Yuso saw what Takeda did.Yuso elbow slammed hard on Takeda's head.Takeda's head swriled and his body fell to the ground.

    Takeda was shocked by that attack.He got up and saw both Ishdia and Yuso facing him.Takeda grinned.Takeda gripped both his hands on his Katana sword.Takeda turned his body and rotated his body high in the air and his sword striking both's Ishida and Yuso's sword's.Takeda landed to the ground.
    Yuso attacked first.Takeda turning back and pulling Yuso's sword into the air.Takeda then striked Ishida to the ground.Yuso and Ishida both got up.

    Their swords gleamed.And then becamea dance of light and sword.Takeda's sword touching both swords.Both Ishida and Yuso tried to stab at Takeda's shoulders.Takeda blocked the attack and kicked Yuso in the balls.Yuso froze but with great pain still fought.It was enough thought Takeda.Takeda then stabbed Yuso's heart and plunged his sword thinly at Ishdia.

    Both of them fell .Takeda watched as the Anegagkojii troops retreated their Generals fallen.

    Nobutomo shouted.''Cut them down!!!''.

    It became a bloodbath.The Anegagkojii troops fighting for their lives.Many fell down.

    Takeda watched as he saw Yuso dead.But Ishida was still alive.

    ''Nobutomo take General Ishida to the castle''.
    Nobutomo bowed and turned his head to two samurai.The two Samurai bowed and took General Ishida to the castle.

    By then the battle had finished.Not a single Anegagkojii man stood alive.All of them were dead.Sake was bought out as the army celebrated their victory.
    Nobutomo dined with Takeda.Takeda's other 24 Generals dined in the castle.The army celebrated outside.

    Takeda eat sushi with rice.He used his chopsticks precisly to eat.He put his bowl down as Ishdia was dragged by Two takeda samurai.The two samurai bowed and pulled Ishida to his feet.

    ''General Ishida ,a pleasure to see you''.

    Ishida spat at Takeda's bowl.

    The Samurai punched Ishida in his stomach.Ishida groaned.

    ''As I was saying ,General Ishida,a pleasure to meet you''. continued Takeda. Ishida spat again.The Samurai were about to punch Ishida when Takeda stopped them. ''No do not punch him anymore.Let him spit for as long as he wants,now General will you answer?''.

    Ishdia gave a furious glare.

    ''I know you are Damiyo of the Ishida Clan,am I correct?''. Ishida looked at Takeda.

    ''What damyio?I am no Damiyo,I am a General of the Anegagkojii Clan and the way you are treating me is outrageous!!!''.Takeda nodded his head.''Hai.Then why is your name Ishida Guoen?''. Takeda looked up at Ishida.

    Ishida stared at Takeda.

    ''Who are you?''.asked Ishida.''Nothing''.replied Takeda

    ''You were Ishida Guoen,Damiyo and ruler of Ishida.You were overthrown by your family.Your sister took power and she now rules.You are a outcast to your family,they never loved you in the first place did they?Oh and no matter how much loyalty you showed to them even love maybe.They never gave any respect to you,no matter how many victories you won.You may ask how I know all of this?Simple.Its Rumour's,stories,legends and myths''.

    Takeda looked at the two samurai.The two samurai dropped Ishida to the ground.Ishida groaned and managed to sit on his legs.

    ''That is a lie,you devil of takeda!''.Ishdia shouted.

    ''You imprisiond your father ,you took power like that!By not letting the rightful ruler of your clan take power!''.

    Everyone stopped eating.

    ''Yes,yes,if he had reigned any longer my father would have bought the clan's destruction.I was the elder and more experienced leader,not my brother.Had my father regined any more,you would have used him for your own needs,therefore not letting the Takeda acheive power''.Takeda started eating again.

    Ishida glared furiously.

    ''I was exiled.By my sister,yes it is true that my family hated me.Those bastards.I did everything for them and they payed me nothing,no love and no respect!I hated my mother and father.Always they would critise me what ever I did!Then there were my sister's,Isha and Kono.I loved Kono as she was such a sweet sister.But Isha that ungrateful women was the worst.Then my brothers who defeated me everytime!I then became Damiyo.No one troubled me,I was the leader,I was the ruler''.

    ''Then she Isha ,seduced me with a women.And then again Isha took more of my power while I wasted time with that women.It was only until she had full power had I not noticed.Then they threw me out and I was disowned by my family''.

    Ishida's face grew into anger.

    ''Then I joined the Anegagkojii Clan.I could have joined other clans but I chose this one''.

    Takeda gave a wise nod.

    ''Then why not serve the Takeda?''. Ishida looked at Takeda. ''Why,you may ask well,General Ishdia.You have been overthrown by your sister.Fair deal that may be because in 10 days we march to the Anegagkojii lands.And we will destroy them.You agree to join me,I shall overthrow your sister and give Ishida back to its rightful ruler,Which is you''.

    Ishida gave a grim smile.

    ''Takeda-san to march on Ishida lands may be a bit dangerous.I think you're underestimating my sister.She is a powerful leader in battle.I have seen it with my own eyes.Her Samurai skills outmatch me.I would rather serve the Anegagkojii than join you''.

    Takeda shurgged his shoulders.

    ''Why serve the Anegagkojii? We march on thier lands in ten days.By then they should be finished.Then we go to your land and restore you back to its rightful owner''.

    ''You think this is possible Ishida?I do.So I say,you join me and I will reward you''.

    Ishida blinked then thought for a while.He then looked at Takeda.

    ''All right,But if this goes wrong be warned''.

    Ishida bowed and left the room

    Takeda gave a grin.

    ''Generals it's seems our first ally is made''.

    Chapter 9



    Anegagkojii Castle.



    Night.



    Yuishe yijo ,commander of the Takeda bow Samurai walked in darkness.His bow samurai archers followed behind him.The Anegagkojii Guards stood still on the castle entrance.



    Takeda accompanied by a large army followed behind Yuishe Yijo.Yuishe pulled the banner of the Takeda up.Ninja's sprung out of nowhere and disappered stealthy.For a moment the Takeda army could not see the Ninja.



    Then the ninja's came into view.The Ninja's climbed the walls.The Anegagkojii guards stood seeing nothing.The first guard fell down.The Second felt a light touch in his neck.He froze then dropped to the ground.



    The Ninja's nodded to each other and before you could know it ,the castle gates were open




    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-26-2011 at 11:08.

  16. #16

    Default Re: My story.

    Classic stuff.


  17. #17

    Default Re: My story.

    thanks,any feedback?

    do you want me to add anything else in the story?

  18. #18

    Default Re: My story.

    You could add some game screenshots, although its by no means necessary. Many stories are text alone, like yours and that has its own beauty.
    The Caravel Mod: a (very much) improvedvanilla MTW/VI v2.1 early campaign

    Please make sure you have the latest version (v3.3)
    Since v3.3 the Caravel Mod includes customised campaigns for huge and default unit settings

    Download v3.3
    Info & Discussion Thread

  19. #19

    Default Re: My story.

    I could,But I wont do that now.Thanks.

    like yours and that has its own beauty.

    what beauty may I ask?
    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-21-2011 at 18:02.

  20. #20

    Default Re: My story.

    I mean that a story with text only has its own beauty without images at all. The beauty of precisely the text, the storytelling.
    The Caravel Mod: a (very much) improvedvanilla MTW/VI v2.1 early campaign

    Please make sure you have the latest version (v3.3)
    Since v3.3 the Caravel Mod includes customised campaigns for huge and default unit settings

    Download v3.3
    Info & Discussion Thread

  21. #21

    Default Re: My story.

    ah k.
    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-21-2011 at 18:17.

  22. #22

    Default Re: My story.

    Good story :)

    Thank you Takeda Shogunate
    Ja-mata TosaInu

  23. #23
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    I too am enjoying it Takeda. Please continue! :)
    Silence is beautiful

  24. #24

    Default Re: My story.

    Quote Originally Posted by JuJuBee View Post
    I too am enjoying it Takeda. Please continue! :)
    Quote Originally Posted by HopAlongBunny View Post
    Good story :)

    Thank you Takeda Shogunate
    Thanks for the feedback will continue

  25. #25

    Default Re: My story.

    The Takeda troops walked throught the castle gates,others were climbing and the archers were forming up. The Anegagkojii were asleep, their force not awake. Yuishe raised the banner. The Archers fired flaming arrrows. The Castle of Anegagkojii became lit with fire! The Takeda troops advanced slowly.



    Yusihe shouted ''Charge!!!''.And the men behind him gave a great cheer. The Anegagkojii Samurai were woken up.Each started to shout for cries of help ,but it was to late. The Takeda army chargedd and slaughtered the people in the castle.The Anegagakojii Damyio and his son were killed.No one remained alive.



    Takeda looked at Ishida.''You see Ishida?They never were going to last long.And now we march on your lands''.Takeda smiled.Ishida stared but said nothing.Takeda shrugged.''The old ways of Japan are gone Ishida.You can not do anything about it now''.With that Takeda bowed his head and rotatod his horse and left.



    Ishida lands.



    Ishida Castle



    Isha Ishida walked into her room,previously it had been the Damyio's room.But now she was Damiyo ,she was the ruler and no one could stop her.She sat down on the chair.Her advisers quickly hurried behind her and bowed down to her.The Advisers then sat on their chairs



    Uehsi Konni ,her most trusted adviser began first.



    ''Damyio Isha at this moment a large army is advancing towards our lands''.Isha looked at Uehsi.''Is this true?''.Ueshi nodded.''Who and what is this large army coming before us Ueshi?''.Ueshi replied ''It is of the The Takeda.Isha laughed.She laughed so hard that the advisers in the room flinched.



    Ueshi bowed again. ''Your highness ,you do not realize the threat the Takeda pose on us!''.Isha still lauged then spoke.''I know of the Takeda.They've already taken Anegagkojii and North Shinano.I would not worry Ueshi.We will send our army to crush the Takeda''.



    Ueshi had a worried look on his face.''Highness ,do you not know of Ishida?Your Brother.He is serving with the Takeda''.Isha did not reply.Instead she got up and walked beyond her advisers.She turned her head around.''We will defeat them ,prepare the army''.



    Ueshi nodded.



    Takeda Army Camp.



    Takeda army tent.



    Takeda was surronded by his Generals,Ishdia and Nobutomo stood next to him and Yamamoto was seated at the far end.



    Takeda dictated his plan on the battle table.



    ''The Ishida army will be mostly made of up Onna Bushin.Which generals is a very nice thing''.The Generals laughed.


















    Last edited by Marshall Louis-Nicolas Davout; 04-30-2011 at 18:51.

  26. #26
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    I am eagre to read more Takeda! :)
    Silence is beautiful

  27. #27

    Default Re: My story.

    haha thanks,sorry I have not updated this,I've been working on it.

  28. #28
    Pleasing the Fates Senior Member A Nerd's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story.

    The time you spent on it really shows! Highly entertaining! :)
    Silence is beautiful

  29. #29

    Default Re: My story.

    thanks.

  30. #30

    Default Re: My story.

    Sorry, Takeda, but I found myself distracted by your punctuation errors. Take this line for example:

    The Takeda troops walked throught the castle gates,others were climbing and the archers were forming up.The Anegagkojii were asleep,their force not awake.Yuishe raised the banner.The Archers fired flaming arrrows.The Castle of Anegagkojii became lit with fire!The Takeda troops advanced slowly.
    There should be a space after each punctuation mark (commas, periods, and exclamation marks). Here's what it should look like:

    The Takeda troops walked throught the castle gates,others were climbing and the archers were forming up. The Anegagkojii were asleep, their force not awake. Yuishe raised the banner. The Archers fired flaming arrrows. The Castle of Anegagkojii became lit with fire! The Takeda troops advanced slowly.
    You should also vary your sentence structure more. Right now you have a bunch of simple sentences, which makes for monotonous reading, so I recommend you combine some (but not all) of your sentences into compound or complex sentences. This might be helpful:

    http://www.eslbee.com/sentences.htm

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