THIS BELOW IS IMPORTANT FOR ALL Y'ALL BROTHAS WITH A PROBLEM
I checked integrity and defragged again, took like 3 minutes to load but the cursor changed to the Shogun one and it worked. You know why the game works now? It works because I went through Creative Assembly's website to the Sega support page regarding Total War Shogun 2 and followed their advice. Delete preferences.script in the following directory:
C:\Users\Administrator*\AppData\Roaming\The Creative Assembly\Shogun2\scripts
*Or whatever username you have.
For extra precautions I deleted every single file in each folder in that Shogun2 folder including my saves so the new download would have no record of me having played the game before. That might be an extreme but consider it if the above doesn't work. Note I did not delete the folders, only the files contained therein.
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