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Thread: So how can I do this without being creepy

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    Member Member Tuuvi's Avatar
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    Default So how can I do this without being creepy

    So a few months ago this girl came into my work looking for one of the managers. She recognized me from a class we had together a while ago and she stopped to talk to me for a little bit. Then last week she added me on facebook and she wrote on my wall and when I replied she wrote back "sweet you remember me etc.".

    Lately I haven't had anyone to hang out with because a lot of my friends have moved away or are working a lot so I thought it would be cool to ask her if she wanted to hang out, but then when I got on her facebook to send her a message what I planned to write felt awkward and a little creepy. I've always been a little shy about approaching people and most of the friends I've made over the years approached me first so that's why I'm having trouble with this.

    How can I phrase the question without sounding weird?

    And yes she's really cute, which is probably another reason why I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm not sure if I want to pursue a relationship at this point; I'm mostly just sick of doing nothing but working and sitting around the house and I figured since she went out of her way to talk to me she might be interested in hanging out.
    Last edited by Tuuvi; 06-07-2011 at 06:30.

  2. #2
    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    either don't do it. Usually if something makes you feel creepy you are most likely doing something creepy. And while she may not know you have the best intentions she may find it creepy.

    But if you do want to do it dont write a long awkward message. Just be like hey you seem like fun i was wondering if you would like to go grab coffee or lunch or something throw me your number if you want to plan something. If she doesnt who cares at least you did and a thousand did and failed are better than one i could have.

  3. #3

    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    If her exact words were "sweet you remember me", she is into you.

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    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger View Post
    If her exact words were "sweet you remember me", she is into you.
    Or she could just be looking for attention like many young girls

    OP: Ask her out, if she says no, then so it goes

    BUT FOR GOD SAKE don't be akwarad. Just strike up a conversation and see where it goes

    Shes just a girl

    Shes just a girl

    Shes just a girl

    Reading the frontroom has drven me to the bottle

    Is one success story to much to ask for?
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  5. #5
    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Is one success story to much to ask for?
    Do you want to hear the story of how I met my current girlfriend?
    This space intentionally left blank.

  6. #6

    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    Or she could just be looking for attention like many young girls
    From my experience, that is a very loaded phrase. If a girl is excited at the very prospect of being remembered by a guy, she likes him on some level. In any event, by so actively engaging with him, the girl has removed any creepiness from the situation. He is perfectly within the bounds of commonly understood contemporary social norms to ask her to hang out via Facebook. Of course, one never wants to ask someone on a date through any social networking application, but if the hang out goes well - there's his opening if he chooses to use it.

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    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    or mine? do you want my facebook so you can see her? that should cheer you up.

  8. #8
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Centurion1 View Post
    or mine? do you want my facebook so you can see her? that should cheer you up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hax View Post
    Do you want to hear the story of how I met my current girlfriend?
    lulz, I'm sure both of yall have very nice g/fs. 1 joke about wimmen and the forum explodes.

    @Cent Pics will only be accepted with you in them and with as little clothing as possible

    Quote Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger View Post
    From my experience, that is a very loaded phrase. If a girl is excited at the very prospect of being remembered by a guy, she likes him on some level. In any event, by so actively engaging with him, the girl has removed any creepiness from the situation. He is perfectly within the bounds of commonly understood contemporary social norms to ask her to hang out via Facebook. Of course, one never wants to ask someone on a date through any social networking application, but if the hang out goes well - there's his opening if he chooses to use it.
    So we agree

    Most excellent
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  9. #9
    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    @Cent Pics will only be accepted with you in them and with as little clothing as possible
    this can be arranged

    on a more serious note since she contacted you on facebook you are no longer a creep as has been mentioned.

  10. #10
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    My pm box awaits
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  11. #11
    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    At least OP is not driven solely by a desire to get into her pants, which I guess is an improvement upon the current infestation of "How do I get into this girl's pants/why did this girl not let me into her pants" threads.

    Do you want to hear the story of how I met my current girlfriend?
    I imagine it involves a hookah, a mandolin and EB. Do tell.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hax View Post
    Do you want to hear the story of how I met my current girlfriend?
    Haxball I do want to hear your story.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  13. #13
    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Storytime Hax, Storytime!

  14. #14
    Senior Member Senior Member naut's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Centurion1 View Post
    But if you do want to do it dont write a long awkward message. Just be like hey you seem like fun i was wondering if you would like to go grab coffee or lunch or something throw me your number if you want to plan something. If she doesnt who cares at least you did and a thousand did and failed are better than one i could have.
    This. Get her number and call her.

    This will result in two things, if she gives you her number she's open to you and it shows you've got guts.

    I'm gonna make a tally of how many of these types of posts I've made. Currently 999^2.
    Last edited by naut; 06-07-2011 at 12:01.
    #Hillary4prism

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    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by PanzerJaeger View Post
    If her exact words were "sweet you remember me", she is into you.
    idk

    I could give you lots of examples of girls saying things that people would easily take as an example of showing attraction, but sometimes people just act differently and interpret these things in different ways.

    My theory as to why we keep making this mistake in reading too much into things, is that this is a gaming forum. Most of us are probably not the most outgoing people, so when girls are more outgoing and touchy-feely/whatever towards us, what seems like just normal interaction to them seems like more than that to us.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

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    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    [QUOTE=Rhyfelwr;2053323981]I could give you lots of examples of girls saying things that people would easily take as an example of showing attraction, but sometimes people just act differently and interpret these things in different ways.
    [QUOTE]
    That's why conversation exists, so we can find out what other people actually think, as opposed to what we have to imply.

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    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Haxball I do want to hear your story.
    Oh god..

    Okay, what happened is I met her at a ball, and I immediately said to myself "what a cute girl, she's worth looking into". So after the dance was over I approached her and we made some talks and we exchanged our names for Facebook, all the time while her friends looked at us in their typical "what the hell is going on here" way of looking. In any case, we started talking a lot after that, for about two weeks, at which point we decided to go to another ball. She later told me that she had to tell everyone that "it's not a date, we're just going there together", while I was telling myself "it's not a date, she doesn't mean anything by it, we're just friends".

    Well, sure enough, during one of the last and in fact not really one of the most romantic dances (a polka, yeah, seriously (who makes this stuff up, why not during a mazurka or walse in five times, but eh)), suddenly our faces touched and fireworks happened. That was a month and two weeks ago, and ever since (well, except during our exam period), we've been hanging around eachother as much as possible.

    Related, and probably not for the weak of heart:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    This space intentionally left blank.

  18. #18
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    OP: Ask her out, if she says no, then so it goes

    BUT FOR GOD SAKE don't be akwarad. Just strike up a conversation and see where it goes

    Shes just a girl

    Shes just a girl

    Shes just a girl

    Reading the frontroom has drven me to the bottle

    Is one success story to much to ask for?
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
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  19. #19
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Subotan View Post
    That's why conversation exists, so we can find out what other people actually think, as opposed to what we have to imply.
    Wait you're telling me I have to talk to them?

    No but seriously, even still that doesn't always clear things up.
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  20. #20
    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hax View Post
    Oh god..
    Aww. That's as close as anything I've ever seen on the .Org to being adorable.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwr View Post
    Wait you're telling me I have to talk to them?
    Yeah, poking is kinda insufficient.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwr View Post
    No but seriously, even still that doesn't always clear things up.
    Well, in that case you're dealing with somebody who is a bit crazy. And you know the maxim...

  21. #21
    Senior Member Senior Member Fisherking's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhyfelwr View Post
    Wait you're telling me I have to talk to them?

    No but seriously, even still that doesn't always clear things up.

    That is because you are the eternal pessimist.

    When you expect the worst you usually get it.

    You won't believe it but the same is true of success.

    Stop thinking and acting like Eeyore and be a bit more like Tigger.


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    Banned ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Don't poke her on Facebook.



  23. #23
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Fisherking View Post
    That is because you are the eternal pessimist.

    When you expect the worst you usually get it.

    You won't believe it but the same is true of success.

    Stop thinking and acting like Eeyore and be a bit more like Tigger.
    I only got like this through experience. You may remember what happened in my last couple of girl threads. I was positive, but without a happy ending.

    I will give you an example, since I know you all absolutely love to hear them!

    Well, one girl (from an older girl thread) would always touch me literally every time I walk past. Or run up and hug me sometimes. And come to the staff room and hold my hand to take me back to work after my break (lol). And if I was standing about she would come and say hello and giggle (lol again). And says "I like you", and "I love you". And just a couple of weeks ago the boss says he thinks we have a "thing" (so its not all me over-analyzing) because she kept talking to me. In fact that same day she was joking and said she was going to follow me around, and told me a couple of stories about how she kept having to take all her clothes off.

    Now when you read it like that you would think there is something there? But no, she has a boyfriend. And I moved on to my woes from the more recent girl thread (gah!).

    But these things can get taken the wrong way when you are like me. I'm the sort of person people usually just know not to touch with a bargepole, so when girls act like that it throws me off.

    I'm probably one of very few people to never have been casual friends with a girl due to the nature of my friendship groups in school, so maybe thats why I never see them as just being friendly...
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  24. #24

    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hax View Post
    Related, and probably not for the weak of heart:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Are you the guy on the left?

  25. #25
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Drunk Clown View Post
    Are you the guy on the left?
    Oh no you didn't...
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  26. #26
    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Are you the guy on the left?
    They see me trollin', they hatin'.
    This space intentionally left blank.

  27. #27
    Grand Patron's Banner Bearer Senior Member Peasant Phill's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    I know these kind of threads are about 78% of all the entertainment around here and I'll probably post one in a period between tomorrow and say a month but these things are really simple:

    Man up and and ask her out for something innocent like a movie, a lunch, ... in a straight forward way ASAP. She might say yes she might say no but at least you won't obsess about it.

    Oh hax, I really like your hat.
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  28. #28
    Member Member Tuuvi's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Well I was able to think of something to start a conversation about, so I exchanged some messages with her and then I asked her if she wanted to hang out. That was my preferred method all along, but at first I couldn't think of anything to talk about, so I thought maybe I should just cut to the chase and see if she wanted to hang out, but like I said earlier it just didn't feel right. Thanks for the advice guys.

  29. #29
    Member Centurion1's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    what did she say

  30. #30
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: So how can I do this without being creepy

    Quote Originally Posted by Chuchip View Post
    Well I was able to think of something to start a conversation about, so I exchanged some messages with her and then I asked her if she wanted to hang out. That was my preferred method all along, but at first I couldn't think of anything to talk about, so I thought maybe I should just cut to the chase and see if she wanted to hang out, but like I said earlier it just didn't feel right. Thanks for the advice guys.
    I have 5 topics and I have never met the girl

    You guise srsly you guise
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

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