Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
Okay, so I can't talk smack either.
There, there. All men except me have inadequacies; it's okay to admit them. This is a common problem amongst men your age. Sometimes it is medically related, and sometimes psychological. Either way, it can be treated. You are not alone. In fact, I am almost certain that several other Tanuki Tournaments competitors suffer from many inadequacies of their own. For example, I have it on good authority that Monk has a third ear that is located on his butt, while 'khaan thinks people are intimidated by poetry. But we must not hold these things against them. They cannot help being the horrible, disgusting creatures that they are. We must instead accept them for what they are and help them overcome their baser natures by beating them repeatedly and viciously. And by viciously, I mean serious, mentally scarring defeats. Defeats that will be so devastating to their souls that it instantly changes their entire lives, and forces them to abandon all that they had previously held to be good and holy. After they have been broken down to the mental equivalent of amniotic goo, they can then slowly attempt to rebuild themselves. It will take them decades to recover, and they will never be fully human, but with sufficient effort and determination they might eventually be able to straighten their stooped backs, peer out through their single cataract-ridden eye, and see the beauty of the sun that shines on their betters. On that day, I will shed a single tear of joy for what they have gained.