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Thread: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread

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    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread



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    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Unfortunately, our automated tournament system does not allow for more than 8 players in a double elimination tournament, and we have 9. Thus, a bit of intelligence is required to fix this problem. Since all the other competitors have difficulty just remembering to breathe, I have put my towering intellect to work on this problem and come up with the following solution. An off-site bracket system has been used to generate the starting bracket, which is as follows:


    The bracket was generated randomly, and the match-up of phonicsmonkey v Andres is because fate hates them. It has nothing to do with the fact that phonicsmonkey himself caused this problem by signing up late, and that I hate Andres and wish him great pain and suffering.

    Once the following matches have been played, we will input the results into the Tanuki Tournament Bracket on the forum utility and conduct the rest of the tournament in the automated bracket itself:
    A) phonicsmonkey v Andres
    D) issaikhaan v Monk
    Loser of A v Loser of D

    You may now all worship me for fixing yet another problem caused by the Org Staff, without any help whatsoever. Honestly, I think they would probably drown in their own spittal within a week if I wasn't here.
    Last edited by TinCow; 06-07-2011 at 18:34.


  3. #3
    The Puppet King Senior Member AggonyKing's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    should seriously get live casts of these games :P and the winner should play against a seasoned MP vet <_<

    "Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare."
    Any man can make a mistake; only a fool keeps making the same one.

  4. #4
    Illuminated Moderator Pogo Panic Champion, Graveyard Champion, Rally 2100 Champion, Missle Attack Champion, Ninja Kid Champion, Ninja Turtles 1 Champion, Pop-Up Killer Champion, Ratman Ralph Champion GeneralHankerchief's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY



    Kagemusha attempts to psych himself up before his match against GH. Of course, we all know that it's all for nothing.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
    Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  5. #5
    Travelling Knight Content Manager Nigel's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    ahhhh..... Why was I borne so late.....

    I could have given you "Nigel's notorious nonsense" or something similar.

    Oh, well, as always this should be great fun to watch.

    P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....

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    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY



    GH and his boys are too busy to prepare for the coming annihilation and utter whooping they are surely going to receive. Poor lads!
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  7. #7
    Illuminated Moderator Pogo Panic Champion, Graveyard Champion, Rally 2100 Champion, Missle Attack Champion, Ninja Kid Champion, Ninja Turtles 1 Champion, Pop-Up Killer Champion, Ratman Ralph Champion GeneralHankerchief's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    ...not fair.
    "I'm going to die anyway, and therefore have nothing more to do except deliberately annoy Lemur." -Orb, in the chat
    "Lemur. Even if he's innocent, he's a pain; so kill him." -Ignoramus
    "I'm going to need to collect all of the rants about the guilty lemur, and put them in a pretty box with ponies and pink bows. Then I'm going to sprinkle sparkly magic dust on the box, and kiss it." -Lemur
    Mafia: Promoting peace and love since June 2006

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    At times I read back my own posts [...]. It's not always clear at first glance.


  8. #8
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Well there you go:

    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  9. #9
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY



    Quote Originally Posted by Nigel View Post

    P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....
    It's pronounced "the rotten". He eats too much mexican food.

    Where's that phonicsmonkey? Where is he? Come over here so that I can destroy you!

    I have played 2 (TWO) MP games already and so I can call myself a veteran. I lost those two games on purpose! Now, I'm here for some SERIOUZZZ BUSINEZZZZZ.

    The monkey must die
    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

    Ja mata, TosaInu

  10. #10
    Research Fiend Technical Administrator Tetris Champion, Boxteroid Champion, Summer Games Champion, Snakeman Champion, Ms Pacman Champion therother's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Nigel View Post
    P.S. I really would like to know how therother pronounces his name.....
    With a mild, geographically indistinct Scottish accent...

    Or you could go here.
    Nullius addictus iurare in uerba magistri -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus

    History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there -- George Santayana

  11. #11

    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    If a gallant knight emerges on the field I may deign to bestow a scarf for him to wear as a mark of my favour. If this happens that champion is required to win and anyone getting in the way will be discreetly hairpinned.

    Should no suitable champion emerge, I shall graciously sit on the sidelines and throw peanuts. :loads peanut catapult:
    Frogbeastegg's Guide to Total War: Shogun II. Please note that the guide is not up-to-date for the latest patch.


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    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Well that magnificent cow made of tin decided to call me "girly man", so i dont mind loosing rest of my limbs defending the honour of your froggyness.
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  13. #13
    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Kagemusha View Post
    Well that magnificent cow made of tin decided to call me "girly man", so i dont mind loosing rest of my limbs defending the honour of your froggyness.
    She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.



  14. #14
    Research Fiend Technical Administrator Tetris Champion, Boxteroid Champion, Summer Games Champion, Snakeman Champion, Ms Pacman Champion therother's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by TinCow View Post
    She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.
    Guess that rules out all shysters then...
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Last edited by therother; 06-07-2011 at 21:43.
    Nullius addictus iurare in uerba magistri -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus

    History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there -- George Santayana

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    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by therother View Post
    Guess that rules out all shysters then...
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	TinCowShyster.jpg 
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    On the contrary, sir, disagreeable words are my weapons! Also, weapons are also my weapons.



  16. #16
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Andres View Post
    Where's that phonicsmonkey? Where is he? Come over here so that I can destroy you!

    The monkey must die
    frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!

    Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.

  17. #17
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by TinCow View Post
    She asked for a gallant knight, not a flouncy maiden who faints when she hears a disagreeable word.

    She can hang your metallic cowhead on her wall once im done with you, while i think Greg "the Dragon" will take care of you so i dont get the pleasure.Maybe we can use your head as a bucket at camel stables so there is some use for it!
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  18. #18
    Bureaucratically Efficient Senior Member TinCow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    For spectators, we have done an informal survey of our gaming experience. Here is a complete list of all the TW MP battles each of us had ever played before this Tournament started:

    Andres: 2
    issaikhaan: 4
    GeneralHankerchief: 2
    Gregoshi: 0 (from MTW to TWS2, he played a few in STW)
    Kagemusha: 2
    Monk: ?
    phonicsmonkey: 0 (but has played several drop-in games as part of the Mod v Mod MP Campaign)
    TinCow: 2
    therother: 0


  19. #19
    The Puppet King Senior Member AggonyKing's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    ouch :D don't you guys want at least a 5 minute lesson? <_<

    I'm grabbing popcorn for this

    "Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare."
    Any man can make a mistake; only a fool keeps making the same one.

  20. #20
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by AggonyKing View Post
    ouch :D don't you guys want at least a 5 minute lesson? <_<
    No, that would spoil the fun!
    frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!

    Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.

  21. #21
    The Abominable Senior Member Hexxagon Champion Monk's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    EXIT STAGE LEFT.

    EXIT STAGE RIGHT.

    THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN! ALL THE FUSES IN THE EXIT SIGNS HAVE BEEN BURNT OUT. AND THERE'S ONLY ONE STRAIGHT AND NARROW PATH TO THE NEXT BRACKET, AND IT DEALS WITH PAIN AND DESTRUCTION

    YOU, ISSAIKHAN, WILL FEEL THAT PAIN, FEEL THAT DESTRUCTION WHEN WE PLAY. AND I WILL, TAKE VICTORY FOR MYSELF, TAKE IT TO PARTS UNKNOWN. LOAD THE SPACESHIP WITH THE ROCKET FUEL. LOAD IT WITH THE WORDS. BECAUSE AFTER WE PLAY: VICTORY WILL. BE. MINE.


  22. #22
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    My dearest Monk, it seems you have lost your way
    The longest night shall by comparison pale
    When finished, I will make your arrogance pay
    Your soldiers shall be slaughtered and you shall fail.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  23. #23

    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    You guys are mods? This place is better then a nuthouse filled with dwarves and monkeys. That's on fire. In the middle of a plain filled with camel-ridding mongooses. And I do mean this literally!

    This thing hasn't even started yet and I'm hooked!
    The supreme, the merciless, the destroyer of opposition, the exalted King, the shepherd, the protector of the quarters of the world, the King the word of whose mouth destroys mountains and seas, who by his lordly attack has forced mighty and merciless Kings from the rising of the sun to the setting of the same to acknowledge one supremacy.
    -Ashurnasirpal II

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  24. #24
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    [false bravado]This is pointless. I'm doomed. TinCow even knows it - he's already smack talking with Kage on the other end of the bracket. I'm just a splash screen for his next round.[/false bravado]

    You will be crushed TinCoward!! Crushed! Doom! Doom is upon you! A crushing doom! Crushing and dooming is in your future! And woe! I can't forget woe! A woeing, crushing doom of hopelessness awaits you! Ooooo, hopelessness too! Woe, Crushing, Doom and Hopelessness are the Four Horsemen of your Apocalyptic Fate. Muhahahaha!

    Okay, so I can't talk smack either.
    This space intentionally left blank

  25. #25
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashurnasirpal II View Post
    You guys are mods? This place is better then a nuthouse filled with dwarves and monkeys.
    Are you talking smack about me and Andres?
    frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!

    Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.

  26. #26

    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey View Post
    Are you talking smack about me and Andres?
    LOL! Possibly, then again, I don't know you guys so maybe it's more the camel-ridding mongooses
    The supreme, the merciless, the destroyer of opposition, the exalted King, the shepherd, the protector of the quarters of the world, the King the word of whose mouth destroys mountains and seas, who by his lordly attack has forced mighty and merciless Kings from the rising of the sun to the setting of the same to acknowledge one supremacy.
    -Ashurnasirpal II

    Org Games
    Kings of the Nile - Chancellor Meleagros Ptolemaios, Nomarch of Upper Egypt
    Clash of Gods - Kingdom of Castilla y Leon
    Wrath of the Khan II - Kingdom of France

  27. #27
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by phonicsmonkey View Post
    Are you talking smack about me and Andres?
    No, only about you, you weakling midget monkey. I will crush you under my heels and you will be grateful that I don't do anything worse with you!
    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

    Ja mata, TosaInu

  28. #28
    Throne Room Caliph Senior Member phonicsmonkey's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    frogbeastegg's TWS2 guide....it's here!

    Come to the Throne Room to play multiplayer hotseat campaigns and RPGs in M2TW.

  29. #29
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by TinCow View Post
    For spectators, we have done an informal survey of our gaming experience. Here is a complete list of all the TW MP battles each of us had ever played before this Tournament started:

    Andres: 2
    issaikhaan: 4
    GeneralHankerchief: 2
    Gregoshi: 0 (from MTW to TWS2, he played a few in STW)
    Kagemusha: 2
    Monk: ?
    phonicsmonkey: 0 (but has played several drop-in games as part of the Mod v Mod MP Campaign)
    TinCow: 2
    therother: 0
    Lies!Lies! Yesterday evening i crushed twice the armies of Andres! I crushed them all! Burned their villages! Drowned his warriors in lakes and rivers and even sacrificied his pet poodle to the God Of War Hachiman! There is no stopping me anymore!
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  30. #30
    Liar and Trickster Senior Member Andres's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Official Tanuki Tournament Thread - IN PLAY

    Quote Originally Posted by Kagemusha View Post
    Lies!Lies! Yesterday evening i crushed twice the armies of Andres! I crushed them all! Burned their villages! Drowned his warriors in lakes and rivers and even sacrificied his pet poodle to the God Of War Hachiman! There is no stopping me anymore!
    First of all, I lost on purpose. It's part of my devious plans to win this tournament. I feel safe revealing my secret plans out in the open, because, senile as you all are, you probably already forgot the last sentence you just read.

    Secondly, we played on the rice fields map, there are rivers nor lakes on that map. You were probably drunk again and worshipped your toilet on your knees after the game. The only things you drowned was your half digested meal.

    Thirdly, I do not have a pet poodle
    Andres is our Lord and Master and could strike us down with thunderbolts or beer cans at any time. ~Askthepizzaguy

    Ja mata, TosaInu

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