2. VH/VH in EB is very difficult indeed. In VH campaign, the AI is just determined to kill you, virtually ignoring other threats, and almost never accepts ceasefires, preferring to fight to the death. VH battle difficulty means that the AI gets massive +7 bonuses, so their basic levies are equal to your elites. You've chosen a very hard way to begin EB, even though Rome is one of the easiest factions thanks to an easy economy.
3. Another problem with VH campaign is that the AI gets a tremendous amount of money - about 10,000 mnai a turn on top of what they already get. This makes big factions like AS and Egypt super-rich, they can afford dozens of full stacks. Killing them at that point is very hard. VH campaign is basically for people who like to make like Alexander the Great and blitz the map as quickly as possible - not for slow role-playing based games.
It depends what kind of game you like. But in general, the slower you want to expand, the lower the campaign difficulty should be. If you wanted a very slow game with historical expansion rates, for example, you're better off with M campaign difficulty. AI diplomacy is more reasonable on M.
4. Allied State (Level 4 govt) is a good choice in an early Roman campaign, until you get the Polybian reform anyway. You can always destroy and change to a higher government later. Only drawback with Level 4 is that your family members can't be governors (they will get 'Interloper' trait and make the people unhappy) - you need to recruit a local general and make him governor for the best long-term economic effects - but the local generals will cost you a lot in upkeep too.
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