Why do nice girls date guys who are jerks?

[Hooahguy]

Why do such nice girls go out with such complete s?

[ You can have a legitimate discussion about this without leaning towards a personal attack - Sec ]

[Papewaio]

Because most people would prefer a second hand BMW that has been test driven to a brand new Prius.

[Montmorency]

Because their saliva is compatible?

[a completely inoffensive name]

Ok so heres the situation: so where I work there are two very pretty girls. Lets call them Red and Greene. Now, I had Green "in my sights." Then comes this other guy, who makes out with Red, and then the next day makes out with Green and now they are dating. Clearly such a person is a jerk, so why do such nice girls go out with such complete s?

Because he has a bigger package than you.

[Hooahguy]

Because he has a bigger package than you.

Touche sir, touche.

[Rhyfelwyr]

How do you know they are nice girls?

[naut]

I was going to reply in disgust. But, why bother when someone has explained it better than me.

Compliments on the site.

While I don't agree with *all* of the material you've got, your section on 'Nice Guys' had a lot of very good stuff. At the risk of speculating on the inner workings of the female mind, I'd like to offer my theory on the whole nice-guy issue:

The vast majority of women don't want nice guys.

That's right. Sorry, guys who were hoping to get lucky by rescuing puppies and listening to Yanni, you're in trouble.

Women don't want nice guys. In my experience, with friends, partners, and other interactions, they like *KIND* guys. The difference is a subtle one, but it's important.

'Niceness' is a set of completely superficial behaviors that boils down to 'being inoffensive.' Someone can be a 'nice ' just as easily as a caustic . Niceness also comes along for the ride with kindness in many cases, but is motivated by genuine care for others regardless of how it 'pays off.'

My experience has been that most of the deeply embittered 'nice guys' are just as self-centered as the jerks they gripe about; they just don't have the balls to weather rejection from healthy women while playing the numbers game, hitting on women until one responds favorably.

If your goal is to 'get' a girl, and you're trying to accomplish it by being a nice guy, you are being very inefficient. If your goal is to form long-lasting relationships with people you care about, and possibly have a romantic relationship with them, well, kindness is a quality to cultivate.

It's about motivation, really.

[Arjos]

^^

[Peasant Phill]

Jerks have generally more confidence. It's as simple as that without going into antropology.

[Moros]

What Peasant Phill and Psycho say, really.

The nice guy is all about self pitty and no confidence. In a way they are as egocentric as the jerk, but are to lazy to try to get some and thus go out hating the world for the fact they don't get any.
Before you can love someone else, you've got to love yourself (and I don't mean your right or left hand). 'The jerk' is very good at that. But of course they are to big of a jerk for long time relationships and the likes.

[Hooahguy]

Mission accomplished.

[naut]

Mission accomplished.

Thanks for proving my point.

[LeftEyeNine]

Oh Pooah guy...

Ze jerks are demanding. They want someone and go for it. Women, through ages and definitely still on nature's command, respond to demands. They exist to be picked, chosen, shown off for to date/mate.

Ze women who go after money, cars, or whatever nice guys blame women to be drooling for with a man are yet another example of how nature still is dictating them: Go after the physical environment that will ensure the continuation of your species via the most powerful "vehicle" possible. Of course majority of such women are not dreaming of having babies with those guys but the rule of the attraction still is there administering women subliminally.

Ze jerks are playful, chaotic, demanding and in most cases polygamic which ensures the female of his must-be manly qualities seeing he had attracted other females already.

Ze nice guys always bear the habit of "oh how would she react to this ? may she think i'm an , oh boy, better be keeping it as where I am now" aaaaaand...Tada ! Ze jerk is the winner.

The physical beauty of women generally rings bells of innocence and a sturdy will to stay so whereas women hardly fall under such characteristics.

9 cents.

[Strike For The South]

women don't go for jerks, some girls may confuse and conflatre aggresive bravado as confidence but women don't tend to date jerks,

However one can be confident and assertive without being a jerk.

[stratigos vasilios]

I would imagine it'd be a fantasy of 'taming' a wild boy.

[Arjos]

That's horse rubbish, Psychonaut's post is bulletproof: all about confidence...

[Kagemusha]

Strike is right. You can be "nice" and still have self confidence. There is difference between an egomaniac and someone with healthy self esteem.

[Centurion1]

It hasn't changed for the thousands of years we have had society. Phaophtet in ancient Egypt still got all the girls. It wasn't that he was a jerk or that he treated other people like crap it was because he had balls the size of the Pyramids of Giza. Confidence = subconscious desire of women to want to be with you. Reverse applies usually as well. Like overly submissive and meek girls turn me off since I'm loud and social. If you act like you deserve to be with a woman even when shes more attractive than she will just think that you are an equal and deserve her. Plus an individual has to follow a swing till you connect policy. There is no striking out you can take a swing as often as you want. The only thing holding someone back is themselves.

[Hosakawa Tito]

That's horse rubbish, Psychonaut's post is bulletproof: all about confidence...

Actually, it's more about this part:

If your goal is to 'get' a girl, and you're trying to accomplish it by being a nice guy, you are being very inefficient. If your goal is to form long-lasting relationships with people you care about, and possibly have a romantic relationship with them, well, kindness is a quality to cultivate.

It's about motivation, really.

[Arjos]

I replied about what girls look for :)

[Reenk Roink]

Eh, it's been done before Hooah.

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

Why would you care if they date jerks? Keep looking for the "right" girl and you be OK!

[Drunk Clown]

Why would you care if they date jerks? Keep looking for the "right" girl and you be OK!

How's that working out for you?

[ELITEofWARMANGINGERYBREADMEN88]

How's that working out for you?

Got some prospects.

[Peasant Phill]

Got some prospects.

Don't we all.

[B-Wing]

This is actually an extremely complicated question and isn't applicable to all women. But for at least some women, they're not just attracted to confidence, but they're also turned off by the appearance of being desperate. Whether you're on the 5th date with a girl you're seriously interested in, or just trying to hook up with some girl you see at a bar, if the lady senses that you're willing to do whatever it takes to have her, that can be a serious turn off.

Contrary to popular belief, most women don't want to be the center of your effort and attention. They want to be with someone who has life goals and ambitions beyond getting a woman. If they (women) sense that they are the most important thing to you, they lose interest fast (unless they are extremely needy and lacking in self-esteem). Most women want to be with someone who is capable of rejecting them, at least initially. If the relationship turns into love, their expectations will change; but when first getting to know a guy, a woman wants someone who is attentive and interested in them, but not desperate for them.

Obviously, the male's self-confidence is going to play into this a lot, but it's not just about that. Hope this helps.

[Centurion1]

Eh, it's been done before Hooah.

Most overdone topic on the webz after cats

[Rhyfelwyr]

Plus 'nice guy' tends to have a pretty specific meaning from what I understand... is it not the guys that just become casual friends with girls when they hope it will turn into more?

That's not even a nice thing to do, its a bit deceitful.

[Moros]

Note jerks will not have great relationships most of the time, but they'll have one night stands.

The kind and confident guy will have those however. The sad but nice guy rarely does too, but will not get the one night stand.

However if a girl really likes you from the get go, it all may not matter either. But those moments are very rare.

[Hosakawa Tito]

Showing kindness, respect, and a desire to build caring long term relationships is it's own reward. None of us can control our feelings, but we can control how we think. Holding someone elses feelings, or in this case, lack of romantic feelings, against them is selfish.