Capo di Tutti Capi IV -- Information and Story Summary Thread.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Post #4057 of main thread.

Please send orders to issaikhaan ONLY. Do not send them to GH.

"This is the excellent foppery of the world, that,
when we are sick in fortune,--often the surfeit
of our own behavior,--we make guilty of our
disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars: as
if we were villains by necessity; fools by
heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and
treachers, by spherical predominance; drunkards,
liars, and adulterers, by an enforced obedience of
planetary influence; and all that we are evil in,
by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion
of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish
disposition to the charge of a star!"
...King Lear 1.2
...William Shakespeare


9:13PM, Saturday, 11 November 1951
The Executive Meeting Room (Small Ballroom)
Fatlington Convention Center
Fatlington, New Jersey



The Director was late, arriving today exactly one hour before the deadline, having been completely exhausted by non-Director related activities. He conferred with this friends regarding the method of death, and for a moment, he was completely stumped. Panic began to set in.... and he noticed that the votes for the lynch seemed to be headed for a tie. He needed something, something big to prove he was still worthy of being Director.

The minutes ticked by, and he had plans that night... he couldn't afford a delay or extension. He needed a show-stopper, and he needed it now. Various ideas were tossed about, but the Director, being picky, shot them all down. Then, there was a discussion about whether or not someone could be dealt enough drugs to hallucinate they were being eaten alive by a turducken. That was the final straw... Santino needed to take matters into his own hands. Finally, inspiration struck.

When the Director heard the names being called out, he sprang into action, making several phone calls to his friends down by the port. There were warehouses full of items they could use. So the trucks were loaded in record time, and sent down to the convention center, where the Director's goons set to unloading them.

"Gentlemen" began Askthepizzaguy, "I give you the most elaborate, fantastic death ever! It will be like nothing you've ever seen before! You will begin constructing the stage that I have designed."

The Director handed out several blueprints to his goons, the committee members, and even the condemned. They set to work, with only 45 minutes left to go. In a very short time, there were several platforms, each with oddities and horrors more frightening than the last. There were bars around the outside of the platforms, preventing escape for anyone trapped inside.... except by moving to the next platform as quickly as possible.

There were locked doors and hidden keys, pits filled with live scorpions, starving monkeys, complex spiked booby traps, and gangsters wielding all manner of weaponry. There were electrified floors with tiles that needed to be stepped on in the correct sequence to avoid being shocked. There was a rope ladder leading up the side of a building which was soaked in gasoline and would be lit on fire as soon as someone began climbing it, leading to the roof, where a massive aviary had been constructed, containing "attack pigeons" as the Director called them. In order to cross this area safely, they had jump into a pool of honey, then climb out and jump in a vat of birdseed, and then climb out and run as fast as they could to the other side, where they would be able to ride a water slide all the way down to the bottom, which led to a massive drainage canal filled with alligators. From there, they would float off into the river, to relative safety.

The Director checked his watch, and noticed that there was only fifteen minutes left. There just wasn't enough time! He ordered them to work faster, harder than ever. And soon, the magnificent arena was complete. Askthepizzaguy nodded with approval. It was truly a work of art.

The names were called, and Sturmhauke and The Stranger approached, looking at the various gruesome deaths that were in store for them. It was just too much.

"No, I can't do it, Askthepizzaguy. I just can't. I want something more dignified. Please... do something else..." said Sturmhauke.

The Director sighed, and offered his hand. In it were the familiar blue and red pills. "If you take the red pill" the Director began....

Before he could continue, Sturmhauke snatched the pills out of his hand and quickly ate them both.

"HOW ABOUT THAT, Pizza guy? Bet you didn't see that coming. You gave me a choice between blue and red, and I picked both! Now you have no idea what's going to happen! You can't predict the future. There is no fate, pizza man, only choice, don't you see? I've chosen something you couldn't possibly plan for, and now your creepy fate talk is all worthless. Hahahahaaha!!!"

"You really shouldn't have done that..." said Askthepizzaguy.

The ground began to shake. The pavement started cracking, and a loud, demonic roar was heard off in the distance.

"You can't mix those pills, the effects are rather extreme" he continued.

"You don't frighten me, pizza. I know it's all an illusion." said Sturmhauke.

"No.... no, you don't understand. This is as real as your so-called life gets..." The Director ordered his goons and everyone else he could fit into his limousine, and they peeled off in an instant, leaving Sturmhauke and The Stranger behind, puzzled.

The ground shook, as loud, thunderous booms were heard getting closer, and closer.... and closer....


"It's not real, Sturmhauke.... it's not real!" said The Stranger.


But there it was.... it stood 80 feet tall. It was monstrous, and bloated, and making a terrible screeching noise that sounded like three different voices at once. It was a crime against nature, an affront to God himself. It was a being that should not be, it was unnatural.... it was wrong.


"It isn't real." Sturmhauke said to himself, believing it less and less each time.


The gargantuan creature knocked over buildings as it approached, and Sturmhauke stood frozen, trying to convince himself that it was all just an illusion. But the police car that was crushed under the monster's feet, and the subsequent siren, led Sturmhauke to conclude that somehow.... this thing was real. He could see its powerful beak about to swallow him whole, and finally he bolted.

He ran as fast as he could, determined not to be eaten by the massive turducken. He ducked and weaved around the gigantic arena of death that Pizzaguy had constructed, not being silly enough to actually go inside it, and dove into the drainage ditch, hoping that he could make it to the river safely.


Oblivious to what Sturmhauke was seeing, the Director, The Stranger, and the others watched in puzzled amusement as he screamed "NO MISTER TURDUCKEN, DON'T EAT ME!!!" and dove head-first into the alligator-infested water, where he was promptly eaten alive.

"What's a turducken?" said one of Askthepizzaguy's associates.

"I have no idea, but it sure makes me hungry. Anyone want to join me at the all-you-can-eat buffet around the corner? My treat." said Askthepizzaguy. The arena of death would be there tomorrow...

"Meeting adjourned!" said the Director.

The giant Turducken, however, said nothing.

________________

There were shouts of approval, and the entire committee (minus the dearly departed) went off to enjoy a fabulous feast befitting this time of year. They all piled into the limo, starting with The Stranger. They kept coming in, and it became a tight squeeze. There wasn't quite enough room for all of them.

"Somebody has to get out" said the Director, as they zoomed down the street at 70 miles per hour.

Everyone looked at The Stranger, who silently cursed to himself. Askthepizzaguy rolled down the window, and The Stranger was pulled kicking and screaming toward it, and was shoved headfirst out the window. Unfortunately the driver was passing a bit too close to a street lamp at the time, and The Stranger's body became less acquainted with his head. The body was pushed out the rest of the way.

The rest of the committee had a lovely evening, though.


OOC

Night Fifteen orders are due:


Please send orders to issaikhaan ONLY. Do not send them to GH.

Lynch vote tally:

Sturmhauke (11): Sigurd, Autolycus, Neri, gnarlycharlie, Xehh II, scottishranger, hero di classico, Ironside, Double A, Seon, Sprig
The Stranger (11): Backwards Logic, White_Eyes:D, Jarema, BSmith, gibsonsg91921, Erebus, Chaotix, Renata, Tiaexz, Krill, Kennigit

Secura (1): Oh! TheLastDays!
Renata (1): B_Ray
ATPG (1): Believer
Sigurd (1): Sturmhauke

Abstain: LazyMcCrow, SisterCoyote, Death is yonder, Niklas