Rekindling the love affair

[gollum]

I congratulate CA/SEGA for moving on and making it big time. Unfortunately fans don't get pension credit for tw playing and forum time. Nor fame, happiness or pretty girls. Just remember that, all you TW youngsters out there ;)

Ok I have to go now, the nurse has come to take me back... if only I could remember where I left my false teeth and underwear...

Next to your stick and those v-tablets pops :)

[Kikuchiyo]

I congratulate CA/SEGA for moving on and making it big time. Unfortunately fans don't get pension credit for tw playing and forum time. Nor fame, happiness or pretty girls. Just remember that, all you TW youngsters out there ;)

Ahem... so you're not on the CA/SEGA MTW Vets Pension Scheme then...? oh well I probably shouldn't say anything...

[gollum]

Ahem... so you're not on the CA/SEGA MTW Vets Pension Scheme then...?

You mean the one they gave the Greek government to manage?..

[Kikuchiyo]

You mean the one they gave the Greek government to manage?..

No you're thinking of the .org staff pension, the MTW vets' pensions is safely secured in an Icelandic bank.....

[gollum]

No you're thinking of the .org staff pension, the MTW vets' pensions is safely secured in an Icelandic bank.....

Right, the one that is said so safe that not even the entitled pensioners can take it. I see.

[Gilrandir]

Ok I have to go now, the nurse has come to take me back... if only I could remember where I left my false teeth and underwear...

I've been through it. You never get your underwear until she changes your diaper.

[Kikuchiyo]

I've been through it. You never get your underwear until she changes your diaper.

Ok next month then.......

Hey don't look at me like that, this is all the .org and CA could afford... once you take out Andres, drone and Martok's salaries and expenses, there's not really much left in the pot for anyone else...

[drone]

Don't bring me into this. I'm still junior-junior, I'm getting paid in French pr0n from the Senior Member's stash. Martok is the one making the big bucks.

[Kikuchiyo]

Martok and Andres have been getting filthy rich from this for years and in the current economic climate that's simply scandalous. I heard they threw a huge party last night, they bathed in champagne and several young women and a camel were seen leaving in a limo during the early hours... it's an utter disgrace when ordinary orgahs are suffering tough austerity measures (such as only 1 username change every 21 days)...

//edit:

I'm getting paid in French pr0n from the Senior Member's stash.

It's about time that was updated, back in my day it was the 70's german stuff...

[Andres]

Martok and Andres have been getting filthy rich from this for years and in the current economic climate that's simply scandalous. I heard they threw a huge party last night, they bathed in champagne and several young women and a camel were seen leaving in a limo during the early hours... it's an utter disgrace when ordinary orgahs are suffering tough austerity measures (such as only 1 username change every 21 days)...

LIES! We bathed in 40 year old whisky. And there were three camels!

It's about time that was updated, back in my day it was the 70's german stuff...

That's where all the money went to. To cynwulf and his crazy obsession with antique pr0n. It costed us fortunes and now there's nothing left for the ordinary Orgah.

[Kikuchiyo]

LIES! We bathed in 40 year old whisky. And there were three camels!

The average hard done by orgahs don't need to hear about your perverted, heretical activities... I interviewed those camels afterwards, they told me what happened... all about the nazi uniforms, etc...

That's where all the money went to. To cynwulf and his crazy obsession with antique pr0n. It costed us fortunes and now there's nothing left for the ordinary Orgah.

More filthy lies! That pr0n was already there when I arrived! I only saw about five minutes of a fat hairy man in a green leotard with a handlebar moustache chasing a pigtailed chubby wench around a stables (all of which was censored...), before the server crapped out and the entire .org had to be reinstalled from a back up... as I remember at the time the usual "server trouble" story was posted up... but I never did see the rest of that...

[gollum]

totalpron.org

Is the nurse blond or brunette?

[Andres]

totalpron.org

Is the nurse blond or brunette?

He was bald.

[gollum]

He was bald.

Saucey. You are a really kinky lot.

[Andres]

Saucey. You are a really kinky lot.

We weren't always like that. In the early days, we drank coffee at sunrise and went to our daily routine dutifully. Massive hordes of enemies were slain. In the evening we came back, for a modest meal, no more than 4 cl of whisky and a good nights' rest; each in his own cell.

Then came the camels...

The rest is history, really.

[gollum]

Blonde or brunette camels?

[Andres]

Blonde or brunette camels?

Can a blond and a brunette camel dance together on the head of a pin?

[drone]

Blonde or brunette camels?

Bartixian camels. The horror...the horror.

[gollum]

Can a blond and a brunette camel dance together on the head of a pin?

Difficult that. But for every two such going through the eye of a pin, an ordinary prongah goes to heaven.

Bartixian camels. The horror...the horror.

Bart the nurse?

[Martok]

Ok next month then.......

Hey don't look at me like that, this is all the .org and CA could afford... once you take out Andres, drone and Martok's salaries and expenses, there's not really much left in the pot for anyone else...

Dude, do you have any idea how much those camels eat??! It's insane!

Besides which, most of my income goes to Mithrandir (the *true* Camel Lord) in tribute anyway...

[Kikuchiyo]

I see that as ever gollum and Andres lower the tone to that of a bawdy house...

Is the nurse blond or brunette?

Ginger haired fellow with a beard answers to the name of Mrs McSomething... I'm convinced he's spying for the Scots in fact... and that this is simply a huge conspiracy to keep me here and deny the world my superior generalship...

Dude, do you have any idea how much those camels eat??! It's insane!

So you've saying that the camels drank all the champagne and the 40 year old whisky, while watching the French and German pr0n? This smells like a cover up... I can definitely see one or two obvious flaws there...

Besides which, most of my income goes to Mithrandir (the *true* Camel Lord) in tribute anyway...

I'm afraid that at the .org there are those that do the work and those that simply cream off all the best. There are moderators that toil away here daily, sweating for the .org and it's members, then there's Andres, who occasionally edits, or once a month he might ban someone for fun... but then walks away with cases of vintage wine, lorry loads of free beer and hosts these lavish parties with 20 or so women in his pool, etc. He uses the .org helicopter to fly in more food and booze - all at the average orgah's expense... Mithrandir is worse, he bathes in camel milk and 20 virgins attend him in his "Pimp Palace"... all paid for by orgahs... it's an utter travesty. I'm just blowing the whistle on this CORRUPT system now, enough is enough...

[Banquo's Ghost]

I might have guessed this promising thread would end up with camels.

As a deeply devoted fan of MTW, it has pained me to be completely unable to play the game for some time now. I simply can't get the workarounds to stick.

However, as a Mac user, I have rather taken it on myself to lobby feral interactive to consider porting MTW across to OSX, since the immense success of their RTW port on the App store. This campaign may not appeal to the dedicated PC user of course, but I just thought I should mention it, since we seem to be getting some traction. It may be smoke and mirrors, but the emails I have seem to indicate they are thinking of the possibilities.

It's a revenue stream that just might appeal, and older top notch games seem to be in vogue.

[gollum]

I see that as ever gollum and Andres lower the tone to that of a bawdy house...

Yes, in particular its strongly reminiscent of that "Caravel's Inn" place.

Ginger haired fellow with a beard answers to the name of Mrs McSomething... I'm convinced he's spying for the Scots in fact... and that this is simply a huge conspiracy to keep me here and deny the world my superior generalship...

No wonder why you run away every time and change names..

[Durango]

BROS COM EON JUST STOP PLAY TEH OLD STUPIDGAMEAS

MEDIVAL 1 LOOKS RLY OLD AND WITH LAME MAP GAMEPLAY THATS SLOW AND PIXELATED JUST SO UNPLAYBLA BY TODAYS STANDARD
PPL WHO CANT HANDLE NEW FREHSH CA GAMES ARE BRIOKE AND CANT GET NEW COMPUTERS

LOLO

[Kikuchiyo]

Instagib him!

[gollum]

BROS COM EON JUST STOP PLAY TEH OLD STUPIDGAMEAS

MEDIVAL 1 LOOKS RLY OLD AND WITH LAME MAP GAMEPLAY THATS SLOW AND PIXELATED JUST SO UNPLAYBLA BY TODAYS STANDARD
PPL WHO CANT HANDLE NEW FREHSH CA GAMES ARE BRIOKE AND CANT GET NEW COMPUTERS

LOLO

+1.

[m52nickerson]

I wasted the whole of this past weekend on a new Polish Campaign...damn that "just one more turn" addiction.

[edyzmedieval]

Medieval Total War you say?

The original?

Open up a cask and enjoy.

[Gilrandir]

I wasted the whole of this past weekend on a new Polish Campaign...damn that "just one more turn" addiction.

I have three ways to resist the addiction you speak about:
1) quit playing when the game year panel shows some round numbers (e.g. 1270, 1310 etc).
2) quit playing when there is a round number of turns till the end of the campaign (e.g. the campaign ends in 1453, so the year of quitting (or rather suspending) is 1163, 1353 etc).
3) have my wife yelling at me.
Mostly it is the combination of 1+3 or 2+3 which works.

[Kikuchiyo]

Medieval Total War you say?

The original?

What...?

I thought this was the Medieval 2 forum - not the Medieval 1 forum???!!

Here is a screen from my latest Medieval 2 campaign:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: