Hell is other people.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I probably just need to rant. If you feel like reading it, go right ahead.

I have had a life-long problem with the reliability of other people. It started with my parents being divorced when I was five, taking my only, best friend, my dad, out of the picture most days of the week. Then, when I was seven, the man disappeared for 7 years due to a crack cocaine addiction. Now, he's good for a phone call, but he's got his own problems to deal with. I have issues with my mother I'd prefer not to go into, but long story short, I simply cannot rely on that person either. We don't speak, and it's because I have been burned by her way too many times in ways you honestly wouldn't expect from your own flesh and blood. [And please, spare me the sanctimonious "but its your mother, dude...", not everyone has a mother that acts like one.]

Can't rely on my family, so I've been struggling on my own for a while. Friends? I've always had trouble making friends and the ones I've made IRL have been little more than occasional companionship. I mean, I've never had a friend that would help me move, for example. That may be more commonplace these days I suppose.

I've always been distrusting, throughout my whole life other people have simply been a source of broken promises and outright torment. I tell the details of my life to some people and they wonder why I am actually a kind and sensitive person, instead of a misanthrope with a grudge against the world. I could have that attitude, but I don't see any point in being hateful towards individual people who have done me no harm.

Instead, I simply have my guard up, and for good reason. The past couple years, I've bounced from one unstable and temporary shelter to another, after being unemployed for a long time and just plain broke, I finally got a job and a place to stay. Within months of that happening, all my roommates decided to pack up and leave with only a week's notice.

A WEEK.

I found a place in time, that I could afford, but I soon found out that the place was a bug-infested hell hole with no hot water, no air conditioning, 1 working burner on the stove, half the electrical outlets in the bedroom didn't work, and roomates that would stay for a week or a month and then leave. Oh, and one of them literally tried to murder my other roommate with a gun at a range of about 4 feet through the bedroom window.

So I finally move out of there and get a new place to stay, having scrimped and saved at my new job to afford a place, if I split the rent. I am a dumb, dumb, dumb person and I got a place with a co-worker of mine who used to manage his own store. I figured this one would be responsible, since he's employed, works hard, and once held a position of greater responsibility than I have now.

How mistaken was I?

3 weeks into our year-long lease with the several hundred dollar penalty for breaking the agreement, he quits his job with no warning and informs me he's moving to North Carolina.

I am now screwed professionally because this guy was working 50+ hours a week as our ONLY full-time prep cook, and our store is already severely understaffed to the point where I can't even manage the store because I have to fill in for everyone else we don't have, but I am also now screwed personally because now I'm saddled with a lease agreement I can't afford.

Obvious solution is to get another roommate. Yeah, I know... and I'll have to grit my teeth and roll the dice on another person, and make sure I'm properly prepared to get shafted again.

I just don't understand people, and I want to believe there's better out there. I just haven't experienced it that much in real life.

Now, here on the .org, I've come across some excellent people.

Where the heck are you? Why do you only seem to exist on the internet? Why aren't there intelligent, responsible, reliable people like the ones I've met on here, down where I live?

I have just had it with people. I've never been able to rely on anyone except myself, and unfortunately, the world is not designed in such a way that self-reliance is enough. I always have to tie my fate to a one-sided business arrangement where I take all the risk, and the terms are dictated to me. Then in my personal life, I cannot just be by myself... I have to tie my home, security, financial stability, and privacy to someone else. Someone who invariably puts me over a barrel and uses me until I bleed.

I'm so tired of being surrounded by people, and yet feeling so utterly alone. I can deal with being poor and having to work hard, I just hate being screwed by other people for little or no reason at all, and being forced back into agreements with other people where I can get screwed again. I want to be by myself if I am the only person I can rely on, but I can't be by myself.

Need to raise the danged living wage so a person can afford to live as a single person, without having to pair off to split expenses. This isn't even a ritzy place to live, it's the fricking ghetto where people get shot at and there's cops everywhere constantly and my co-workers get robbed multiple times a year. You'd think you can find a single living situation here, but no.

People suck so much sometimes. But for me, it just seems like an endless vacuum of suckage, turned up to full blast.

All right, whiny rant over...

[Populus Romanus]

Is this why you are so good at mafia?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Is this why you are so good at mafia?

Actually it's funny, IRL people tend to take advantage of my patience, trust, and understanding. If I played mafia the way I live my life, I'd be pretty bad at it.

When I play mafia and most of the time when I'm online, I am Askthepizzaguy, which is a persona that developed from my days playing Medieval 2 Total War. Back then, I never really played M2TW with other people until later on, so all I ever played against was the computer. I found that the computer was generally a backstabbing son of a Milanese Doge, unworthy of any form of cooperative or even peaceful diplomacy unless your intent was to screw over the computer and backstab them first. I would first go out and trade maps, trade rights, peace, alliance, and all that stuff... for money. Then I'd use that money to raise an army of generals and peasants so large that I could take their capitals and castles with ease, and use the pillaging money and better facilities and three-times the starting area of my kingdom to raise a real army and destroy the whole world at once, often times breaking records for how fast the map got conquered. Mostly because the computer ticked me off so badly that I decided that any agreement with them wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, it was merely a vehicle for conquering them harder. They have since tinkered with the diplomacy a bit and it seems a bit more balanced, but certain folks will back-stab you a lot anyway.

From there, that sort of aggressive persona kind of stuck. Being distrustful/deceitful and merciless can be useful in a mafia game where you know, for certain, there is a group of people out there who are determined to destroy you through merciless and deceitful behavior. Then the objective is to not believe their lies and defeat them before they kill your whole team, and being distrustful and unforgiving sometimes works in that situation.

I don't believe in such a philosophy for real life, even if it might be quite profitable in the business world. That said, there really is something to be said about trust being earned, not given away. It's a valuable, precious thing, and most people simply cannot afford to give it away to everyone, because that leads directly to being abused relentlessly.

I wish real life was less like a mafia game and more like... you know... trying to coexist with people.

[Strike For The South]

People suck. Always try to maintain the upper hand and insulate yourself

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hey ATPG, if you move to Santa Cruz and find a place with me, we could be roommates.
Reasons why:
1. Santa Cruz is pretty lenient on whether or not you have a home and/or job. Some people make their livings off street performances.
2. I am very good housemate. I would never ditch you without 1 months notice. I actively clean the bathrooms and I always clean the dishes I use and don't leave them in the sink.
3. You can trust me because I don't trust/like people either. In fact, I am in the same spot as you. I like the people here on the org better than people I meet in RL. Here on the org, everyone is smarter than me and tells why my arguments are utter ****, but most people in RL I can't say the same.


Also, I do not have a gun on me, and thus I would not attempt to murder you.

[Vuk]

Also, I do not have a gun on me, and thus I would not attempt to murder you.

You can murder an unarmed roommate just as easily without a gun. (heck, just plunge a knife into their throat as they are sleeping)
Having a gun does in no way affect your ability or desire to kill your roommate. Their mental state is the only thing that affects that, and if I had someone I trusted, I would feel more secure if they had a gun! (esp. in a neighborhood like that!)
For instance, I have more than 20 guns where I live, and have never killed a soul. That said, if I wanted to, I would not even use a gun (too easy to trace)!

[rajpoot]

It's easier to be nice on the Internet.

Hang in there. And whatever you do, try not to totally stop trusting people. Because it's easy to be suspicious and believe that everyone is out to get you. But once you start believing that and become a loner, it's not easy going back to trusting people, even if they are sincere.

[a completely inoffensive name]

It's easier to be nice on the Internet.

My experience tells me it is the exact opposite actually.

[The Stranger]

Actually it's funny, IRL people tend to take advantage of my patience, trust, and understanding. If I played mafia the way I live my life, I'd be pretty bad at it.

When I play mafia and most of the time when I'm online, I am Askthepizzaguy, which is a persona that developed from my days playing Medieval 2 Total War. Back then, I never really played M2TW with other people until later on, so all I ever played against was the computer. I found that the computer was generally a backstabbing son of a Milanese Doge, unworthy of any form of cooperative or even peaceful diplomacy unless your intent was to screw over the computer and backstab them first. I would first go out and trade maps, trade rights, peace, alliance, and all that stuff... for money. Then I'd use that money to raise an army of generals and peasants so large that I could take their capitals and castles with ease, and use the pillaging money and better facilities and three-times the starting area of my kingdom to raise a real army and destroy the whole world at once, often times breaking records for how fast the map got conquered. Mostly because the computer ticked me off so badly that I decided that any agreement with them wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, it was merely a vehicle for conquering them harder. They have since tinkered with the diplomacy a bit and it seems a bit more balanced, but certain folks will back-stab you a lot anyway.

From there, that sort of aggressive persona kind of stuck. Being distrustful/deceitful and merciless can be useful in a mafia game where you know, for certain, there is a group of people out there who are determined to destroy you through merciless and deceitful behavior. Then the objective is to not believe their lies and defeat them before they kill your whole team, and being distrustful and unforgiving sometimes works in that situation.

I don't believe in such a philosophy for real life, even if it might be quite profitable in the business world. That said, there really is something to be said about trust being earned, not given away. It's a valuable, precious thing, and most people simply cannot afford to give it away to everyone, because that leads directly to being abused relentlessly.

I wish real life was less like a mafia game and more like... you know... trying to coexist with people.

they have been simulating this alot and best way is tit for tat, which comes close to what i believe.

i give trust the first time freely (instead of thinking what have you done to earn my trust, i think what have you done to earn my distrust) if that person then breaks my trust i will no longer trust that person untill suffienciently has been done to earn it back, if possible (kinda depends on what happened.

but ye, i see that its kinda hard with ppl that screw you over never to see you again :P so i just never lend ppl money. either give it and dont expect it back, or dont give it at all.