I largely agree with most your post, but I quoted this part because it's something that's been bothering me for a while now.
People usually frame the issue as a cultural issue, and speak of "western culture". But the unspoken assumption is that stuff like democracy and political rights are cultural things. If we were to stop counting those as cultural things, the cultural overlap between Europeans would be a lot smaller. Japan is sometimes referred to as a western, or at least westernised country - largely because it has adopted free market policies and constitutional democracy. Genuine cultural differences are casually dismissed as idiosyncracies.
In a sense you could consider the political rights western people nowadays enjoy a cultural development of the past 3 centuries or so. But the point I'm trying to make is that it should be considered a class apart. It's the only part of our cultural heritage that is seriously worth fighting for - I would not, for example, partake in a protest to protect traditional Dutch cuisine (probably a bad example).
In my opinion a lot of these debates about issues surrounding Islam and foreign cultures in general are made more complicated than they should be; truth suffers to much from analysis. People ought to respect the law and be accorded the same rights as everyone else, period. Cultural practices that conflict should not be sanctioned or accommodated in anyway, and any other cultural practices and customs are utterly irrelevant. On the face of it this might seem like an extremely obvious position to take, yet sadly, most discussions get so bogged down in particularites of cultures that such basic tenets are completely out of sight.
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