So... What's the protocol when you find out via facebook that...

[HoreTore]

Facebook is for bad humour and posting embarassing pictures of last nights drunkeness.

Nothing else.

[rvg]

Facebook is for bad humour and posting embarassing pictures of last nights drunkeness.

The pictures that potentially can come back to haunt you decades later.

[Strike For The South]

You sound like an ass

You can wrap it up in all the flowerly, intellctual, hoiler than thou language you want.

You are still an ass.

You know how you rectify this situation

Stop making girls cry

Be nice

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

You sound like an ass

You can wrap it up in all the flowerly, intellctual, hoiler than thou language you want.

You are still an ass.

You know how you rectify this situation

Stop making girls cry

Be nice

I'm sorry, where did I say I wasn't an ass?

Hey, I broke it - I admit that, if you really care I used a combination of not-being-able-to-deal-with-intense-emotions and -I-can't-keep-my-temper-in-check so I'll storm off.

I already said I'm crap at even trying to do meaningful relationships with women, so I no longer subject them to my attempts at intimacy.

As for nice, I'll go one better - I'm generally considered "kind".

Until I try to be anything more than friends, then evberyone gets hurt. So now I try to get into those situations.

Also, you guys really are hard, eh?

[Strike For The South]

You seemed to have resigned yourself to the situation. I'm not going to try and armchair diagnos you but I will say that when you have multiple examples of you making girls (whom you don't even have sex with) cry it is most likely your fault.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

You seemed to have resigned yourself to the situation. I'm not going to try and armchair diagnos you but I will say that when you have multiple examples of you making girls (whom you don't even have sex with) cry it is most likely your fault.

You are getting no arguments here - I would say the breakdown of this particular relationship, I use the word generally, was about 75% my fault if not more. The other 25% would be happenstance and me knowing she was lying to me for no apparent reason. I called time, or rather called a break and she rebuffed me later when I approached her, on the basis that we were hurting each other more than anything else.

As I say, that was mutually agreed - but what you may have gathered is I'm bad with other people's emotions, with reading them and understanding them. I know what love, fear, pain, hate, feel like but I don't know when I'm going to make someone else feel like that except by trial and error.

The second girl has issues of her own, I'm calling that one 50/50.

I can't read other people's emotions and I can't express them naturally, so with this particular girl not only did I badly misjudge situations and upset her (for the record, I must have done as much bawling) but I couldn't communicate convincingly.

Ah right, that was why she didn't trust me - she thought I was fake. I blocked that out, that bit hurt.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I can't read other people's emotions and I can't express them naturally

Yeah you're male.

[a completely inoffensive name]

At this point, I guess it is none of my business to keep pushing my opinion on you. My maternal instant got the best of me. But I hope everything turns out well for you PVC.

[HoreTore]

The pictures that potentially can come back to haunt you decades later.

They'll only haunt me if I care.

Besides, if they haven't understood what I'm like after meeting me in person, seeing ymy facebook pics isn't going to do them any good in that regard. After all, what pictures do is document reality. It's not like I change personality on pictures. If they can handle real-life HoreTore, they can handle pictures of me sucking a lamb bone that oddly resemble a penis, with a less than sober facial expression.

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Just wait till you're 35 and then date some other 35 year olds. In the meantime make the most of being single.

I thought you were 30 something already though so what do I know

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Are you on the Autistic spectrum? I know we all are to a greater or lesser degree, but are you further along than most?

Probably, I've never actually been tested but I definately have a problem with facial expressions, subtle ones at least.

I also don't laugh much, so I'm told.

I thought you were 30 something already though so what do I know

Here the internet mirrors real life, where I'm often assumed to be 5-10 years older than I am.

[PanzerJaeger]

I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through so much personal turmoil. If it helps, I have found that most people are more emotionally insecure than they outwardly appear. That being said, you've expressed some fairly extreme feelings and I would concur with ACIN on looking into professional help. Therapy can be very helpful in dealing with such complex feelings. You do not have to live in pain because you are 'uber male'.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through so much personal turmoil. If it helps, I have found that most people are more emotionally insecure than they outwardly appear. That being said, you've expressed some fairly extreme feelings and I would concur with ACIN on looking into professional help. Therapy can be very helpful in dealing with such complex feelings. You do not have to live in pain because you are 'uber male'.

Thank you for your kind words.

While I accept that people here are just being presented with the end of the story and may find it very difficult to understand, this is not simply an extended bout of teenage angst. Nor is it a question of me having suffrered in silence for four years, I have discussed it with several people at my university (which is where this began) including the Chaplain.

The way I feel about this woman and the relationship I had with her is, I'm afraid, something which stems from my larger worldview and excising one would require what I consider an unacceptable rearranging of the other.

[ajaxfetish]

Are you on the Autistic spectrum? I know we all are to a greater or lesser degree, but are you further along than most?

Probably, I've never actually been tested but I definately have a problem with facial expressions, subtle ones at least.

I also don't laugh much, so I'm told.

It might be worth checking out. My brother-in-law has a mild case of Asperger's. He's high-functioning enough that he made it all the way through high school before his family thought to look into it. Really smart, talented, guy, but very awkward socially. After getting diagnosed, he's gone through some programs that have helped a lot in terms of reading others' emotions and having a better idea of appropriate ways to respond and interact. If it turns out there's nothing there to diagnose, then hooray! If there is something there, you could get some help and maybe end up a lot happier.

Ajax

[Visor]

It might be worth checking out. My brother-in-law has a mild case of Asperger's. He's high-functioning enough that he made it all the way through high school before his family thought to look into it. Really smart, talented, guy, but very awkward socially. After getting diagnosed, he's gone through some programs that have helped a lot in terms of reading others' emotions and having a better idea of appropriate ways to respond and interact. If it turns out there's nothing there to diagnose, then hooray! If there is something there, you could get some help and maybe end up a lot happier.

Ajax

I second this. I hold fears of my brother also having something like Aspergers/slight autism. He's smart enough to be in Uni, and in fact, is. But he is quite awkward socially and is very bad at interpreting language/expressions unless they are blindingly obvious. He's a good guy, but I do wonder sometimes, and so does my girlfriend.

[rvg]

They'll only haunt me if I care.

You might care if the photo ends up costing you a lucrative contract or an executive job promotion.

[HoreTore]

You might care if the photo ends up costing you a lucrative contract or an executive job promotion.

As I said, if those pictures disqualify me, then my personality already would have.

[rory_20_uk]

People do change over time. And acts one commits under the influence of alcohol do not correlate well to what one undertakes at work.

Personally I would be very upset if a picture from years ago should preclude me from getting a CMO post.

That from a theoretical standpoint this should not do so does not alter the practical fact that it can.