So... What's the protocol when you find out via facebook that...

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Tbh, everyone here in the backroom is ******* weird in some way. I just took it for granted that someone would be that disconnected.

I reckon if you go back through my posting history you can see her there.

2005 - You Christians are all crazy, I hate you and your poxy God!

2006-mid 08 - You guys are all going to hell, but I love you so much.

Mid 2008 - PRIMAL SCREAM OF PAIN AND RAGE

2009 - Quiet dispair

....

And now here we are.

If we were still friends, she'd probably be reading the Gay marriage topic and laughing right now, and I'd be much more touchy feely.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Seems like you only went into religion because some cute girl talked you into it and then you used/are using it as a crutch for your complete mental breakdown.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Seems like you only went into religion because some cute girl talked you into it and then you used/are using it as a crutch for your complete mental breakdown.

ACIN, I'm starting to think you don't like me.

You're wrong, as it happens. I was an angry man in 2005 because I didn't want to believe in God. She was the first normal non-creepy Christian with a genuine relationship with God I had met. She was also an important emotional crutch to me when my relationship with my family broke down after they found out I was a Christian.

The other important person was a second year theology student who introduced me to intellectual Christianity over the Officer Training Corps selection weekend (we both failed) and who I never saw again.

[a completely inoffensive name]

ACIN, I'm starting to think you don't like me.

I guess I should clarify something about myself and the way I conduct myself on here. I do not hate you in anyway. I don't feel any malevolence that you feel and think the way that you do. I hate the consequences though, of people who think in a way that I think is ultimately destructive to what I envision as a free and just society.

Take for example, Frags. Nice guy. Very good taste in movies. When he talks about global warming, I want to punch a wall because I envision people like him making decisions in positions of power. But you know, he thinks the way he thinks based on some principles about government and how it operates or has operated in the past, so I don't blame him for thinking the way he does and I don't hate him for thinking in such a way. I just would have him stick to telling me what movies are good or not. And who knows? Maybe he is right after all.

I like everyone here. Except for a few people, who I pity.

You're wrong, as it happens. I was an angry man in 2005 because I didn't want to believe in God. She was the first normal non-creepy Christian with a genuine relationship with God I had met. She was also an important emotional crutch to me when my relationship with my family broke down after they found out I was a Christian.

The other important person was a second year theology student who introduced me to intellectual Christianity over the Officer Training Corps selection weekend (we both failed) and who I never saw again.

I think young people are just angry in general. In times good and bad, youth always seem to have an underlying current of angst or anger. I think people try to place specific reasons on why they feel everything they do, when really humans just feel for the sake of feeling....I feel.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I guess I should clarify something about myself and the way I conduct myself on here. I do not hate you in anyway. I don't feel any malevolence that you feel and think the way that you do. I hate the consequences though, of people who think in a way that I think is ultimately destructive to what I envision as a free and just society.

Take for example, Frags. Nice guy. Very good taste in movies. When he talks about global warming, I want to punch a wall because I envision people like him making decisions in positions of power. But you know, he thinks the way he thinks based on some principles about government and how it operates or has operated in the past, so I don't blame him for thinking the way he does and I don't hate him for thinking in such a way. I just would have him stick to telling me what movies are good or not. And who knows? Maybe he is right after all.

I like everyone here. Except for a few people, who I pity.



I think young people are just angry in general. In times good and bad, youth always seem to have an underlying current of angst or anger. I think people try to place specific reasons on why they feel everything they do, when really humans just feel for the sake of feeling....I feel.

That's fair enough.

The simply litmus test for "it was because of the girl" is "did it stick".

Well, it's been four years and it's stuck.

[a completely inoffensive name]

That's fair enough.

The simply litmus test for "it was because of the girl" is "did it stick".

Well, it's been four years and it's stuck.

Doesn't really mean much though. You could just be experiencing Walter Sobchak syndrome.

[Rhyfelwyr]

my relationship with my family broke down after they found out I was a Christian.

If you don't mind me asking, why did that happen?

Seems like you only went into religion because some cute girl talked you into it and then you used/are using it as a crutch for your complete mental breakdown.

A bit harsh don't you think. Ultimately personal experiences do shape the beliefs we hold at different points in our lives, to be moulded in such a way is part of being human. But that is not to say that those beliefs are nothing more than a blind reaction, most people will to some degree take something more meaningful from what they go through in life.

Who are you to say that PVC's beliefs were just a crutch? You don't know him, you don't know his thought process. Considering how complicated human beings are and how little you know about PVC in particular, I think it's ridiculous for you to go throwing that sort of psychoanalysis about.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Doesn't really mean much though. You could just be experiencing Walter Sobchak syndrome.

True, but really you're just being a penis.

I was miserable because I wasn't a Christian, I don't expect you to understand that - but there it is.

If you don't mind me asking, why did that happen?

If I was an atheist from a Christian family, why would it happen?


We did sort it out though - after a couple of years.

[a completely inoffensive name]

A bit harsh don't you think. Ultimately personal experiences do shape the beliefs we hold at different points in our lives, to be moulded in such a way is part of being human. But that is not to say that those beliefs are nothing more than a blind reaction, most people will to some degree take something more meaningful from what they go through in life.

Who are you to say that PVC's beliefs were just a crutch? You don't know him, you don't know his thought process. Considering how complicated human beings are and how little you know about PVC in particular, I think it's ridiculous for you to go throwing that sort of psychoanalysis about.

If PVC wants to put himself out for everyone to take a glance at his life and take pity on him for a day or two while he finds the strength to stop e-stalking a girl, then he is going to get some uncomfortable questions. Especially if those questions are related to beliefs that I personally feel are harmful in the political sphere in regards to the legal recognition of some of my friends relationships with each other.

I never said "this is obviously what you are". I made a conjecture, and you are correct I don't know him. I don't know you Rhy, and you don't know me (I think). However, he started this thread as an "Ask Me Anything about how terrible and dysfunctional I am right now". I agree that the way I posed the question was overly blunt and aggressive and extremely rude. But that is how I talk a lot of the time and it wasn't coming from a source of meanness.

It's fine for Strike to call him an ass but heaven forbid someone question why he developed his religiosity. What do you want me to be? Mr. Nice guy like I was in the beginning where I was told essentially to bug off because I was giving the "wrong advise"?

[a completely inoffensive name]

True, but really you're just being a penis.

I really am.

I was miserable because I wasn't a Christian, I don't expect you to understand that - but there it is.

If you honestly believe that, then I believe you. You are right, I don't understand, but I believe you nevertheless.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

If PVC wants to put himself out for everyone to take a glance at his life and take pity on him for a day or two while he finds the strength to stop e-stalking a girl, then he is going to get some uncomfortable questions. Especially if those questions are related to beliefs that I personally feel are harmful in the political sphere in regards to the legal recognition of some of my friends relationships with each other.

I never said "this is obviously what you are". I made a conjecture, and you are correct I don't know him. I don't know you Rhy, and you don't know me (I think). However, he started this thread as an "Ask Me Anything about how terrible and dysfunctional I am right now". I agree that the way I posed the question was overly blunt and aggressive and extremely rude. But that is how I talk a lot of the time and it wasn't coming from a source of meanness.

It's fine for Strike to call him an ass but heaven forbid someone question why he developed his religiosity. What do you want me to be? Mr. Nice guy like I was in the beginning where I was told essentially to bug off because I was giving the "wrong advise"?

As an aside, the Dawg is apparently e-stalking you.

Your chronology is confused - I am at least more relaxed about religion than I was then.

Was an element of it to please her? Possibly, but you don't appreciate, the mess I was before I met her (i.e. before I left home) and I haven't told you about all the times I quite litteraly spent sobbing in her arms.

The kind of Christian I am is certainly influenced by her, but she is a kind, gentle, empathetic individual who is immensely generous with her time, and more generous with her love than she should be.

Or to put it another way, she's a good Christian and a good role model for any Christian.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Alright, alright. I believe you PVC. I was just prodding you in a rude way. I got my answer and look like the ass I am.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Alright, alright. I believe you PVC. I was just prodding you in a rude way. I got my answer and look like the ass I am.

You sure? I have more.

[Rhyfelwyr]

If I was an atheist from a Christian family, why would it happen?


We did sort it out though - after a couple of years.

It's just that there's no real culture shock. It's not like you joined the Select Brethren and isolated yourself from all non-believers.

I ask because I feel on some level that the direction my own life has taken is a pretty self-destructive one, and that my faith and the world that it exposed me to is both an influence on and a product of that direction. I can't say that my first forage into the world of Christianity outright caused or was caused by this direction, it's like it has complemented it.

If PVC wants to put himself out for everyone to take a glance at his life and take pity on him for a day or two while he finds the strength to stop e-stalking a girl, then he is going to get some uncomfortable questions. Especially if those questions are related to beliefs that I personally feel are harmful in the political sphere in regards to the legal recognition of some of my friends relationships with each other.

I never said "this is obviously what you are". I made a conjecture, and you are correct I don't know him. I don't know you Rhy, and you don't know me (I think). However, he started this thread as an "Ask Me Anything about how terrible and dysfunctional I am right now". I agree that the way I posed the question was overly blunt and aggressive and extremely rude. But that is how I talk a lot of the time and it wasn't coming from a source of meanness.

It's fine for Strike to call him an ass but heaven forbid someone question why he developed his religiosity. What do you want me to be? Mr. Nice guy like I was in the beginning where I was told essentially to bug off because I was giving the "wrong advise"?

Look just stop it, you know the bolded bit is garbage and this is not the place for your trolling. The lame attempt to link it to some sort of emotional reaction to what PVC posted in another thread is pathetic.

My initial advice got the exact same reaction as yours, it wasn't that bad and he's allowed to vent in this sort of thread.

Even with what Strike said there can endearing element to that sort of bluntness but you are really trying to drag PVC down now. Stop it.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Yeah, I am taking a break from the backroom and/or org. I get too personal and angry about certain subjects and it carries over. I apologize to PVC and everyone else I have offended.

[Husar]

As to the "e-stalking" bit. Yeah, it's the facebook profile, looking at is is voyeuristic (but then I'm fairly sure she must have looked at mine in the past, but not recently). Down that road, however, lies madness and fantasies of twitching curtains.

Anyway, I'm all better now (pretty much).

I've read an entire article about how so many things in entertainment and games are voyeuristic because that makes things interesting in the first place.

Looking at a nice girl on the bus is also voyeuristic, but even worse, we're genetically programmed to look at the round bits, and so are women just as well.

I'd think unhealthy starts somewhere beyond this more natural attraction.

If you think it's not okay for religious reasons, then pray for the lord to take that urge away because you're a human and too weak.
My guess though is that he won't take it away.

I'm leaving her alone, it was the right choice four years ago - it's the right choice now.

Such is the way of things.

The question I have is, why does she keep you around as her Facebook friend if she is absolutely not interested in having contact with you again?
Are women that weak-willed that they simply don't dare to press an unfriend button, yet so strong-willed that they would insist on not having contact again when you tried to contact them?
Does that even make any sense?

I think I know how you feel but sometimes old friends are really happy when you just say hello again, I got old friends on Facebook too, you know.
Maybe not ones I hurt a lot but time also heals wounds.
Your choice but it does make me wonder.

By the way, if she's a christian she should be able to forgive you.

[Sigurd]

We haven't had a religious discussion in a while... and I feel less... um... restrained? now that Husar has taken up my shed mantle.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

It's just that there's no real culture shock. It's not like you joined the Select Brethren and isolated yourself from all non-believers.

I ask because I feel on some level that the direction my own life has taken is a pretty self-destructive one, and that my faith and the world that it exposed me to is both an influence on and a product of that direction. I can't say that my first forage into the world of Christianity outright caused or was caused by this direction, it's like it has complemented it.

It was a massive culture shock for them - the whole extended family are very anti-God and anti-Church, I was very isolated at the time. The way we get around it now is they are not allowed to ask any questions about that part of my life, and I don't offer any information.

To yourself - I think having read your posts for a long time you find it difficult to know where you fit into society, and until you do it's always going to be rough around the edges.

I could give you some dross about how your faith should be a calm point in your life but mine has been like being set on fire while being dipped in ice.

Look just stop it, you know the bolded bit is garbage and this is not the place for your trolling. The lame attempt to link it to some sort of emotional reaction to what PVC posted in another thread is pathetic.

My initial advice got the exact same reaction as yours, it wasn't that bad and he's allowed to vent in this sort of thread.

Even with what Strike said there can endearing element to that sort of bluntness but you are really trying to drag PVC down now. Stop it.

Easy, he already backed off - and I don't care really, it does not touch me.

By the way, if she's a christian she should be able to forgive you.

This either tells you something about her, or about how much I hurt her.

It's not her.

[Rhyfelwyr]

It was a massive culture shock for them - the whole extended family are very anti-God and anti-Church, I was very isolated at the time. The way we get around it now is they are not allowed to ask any questions about that part of my life, and I don't offer any information.

Did they outright shun you just because of your beliefs? I mean, you would go to church on Sunday, you might not have sex before marriage etc, but how would your faith affect everyday family life? You still get up, go to work, do some chores, sit down and eat dinner the same way, dress the same way etc.

Are your family very intellectual and like to debate a lot?

I kind of get it when Christian parents get really upset if their kid turns atheist, because they may think it makes him immoral and would be worried he goes to hell. But with atheist parents and a Christian kid, at worst surely they would only think he is being a bit stupid or deluded?

To yourself - I think having read your posts for a long time you find it difficult to know where you fit into society, and until you do it's always going to be rough around the edges.

It's got to the point where I think I could feature in one of Louis Theroux's 'Weird Weekend' documentaries.

I could give you some dross about how your faith should be a calm point in your life but mine has been like being set on fire while being dipped in ice.

I think the faith in and of itself is a source of peace. It feels great knowing that God's looking out for me, it would be a lonely universe without him. But inner peace doesn't always translate into peace on the outside world.

[Strike For The South]

You seem to be winding down. Maybe it was just an autism flare up....

I don't think your as emotionaly distant as you think you are. People deal with the 5 stages of grief difftrently espically denial. You obvs had a crush on this girl, could not articulate it, kept her close, due to the strong feelings but lack of articulation you drove her away, you nurtured some hope as long as she was unattached, now that she is you can't lie to yourself anymore.


I know, I've been there. Despite my good looks, massive cash reseves, witty rapport, and massive genitailia I too have failed with women. Shit I started a thread about my high school sweetie breaking up with me. People didn't call me autistic they called me a pussy
Much better explnation than you being a closet autistic, no?

It's fine for Strike to call him an ass but heaven forbid someone question why he developed his religiosity. What do you want me to be? Mr. Nice guy like I was in the beginning where I was told essentially to bug off because I was giving the "wrong advise"?

Why does no one understand I can do whatever I want on here? I'm me, your you that's why. PVC decided he liked me a long a time ago and me calling him an ass once will not chnge that. Jurys still out on you. FWIW I like everyone on here except the people I don't.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

You seem to be winding down. Maybe it was just an autism flare up....

I'm getting it back under control at least. Monday I didn't really sleep - Tuesday not much better, I started smiling again yesterday.

I don't think your as emotionaly distant as you think you are. People deal with the 5 stages of grief difftrently espically denial. You obvs had a crush on this girl, could not articulate it, kept her close, due to the strong feelings but lack of articulation you drove her away, you nurtured some hope as long as she was unattached, now that she is you can't lie to yourself anymore.

This is true, as far as it goes. The thing is though, I got over the crush about five years ago - I'm still not over the legs, I'll be honest. What I mourn is the loss of the friendship - as long as she was unattached a reproachment in the future might have been possible, though less likely with each passing day because in order for her to accept that I was not as selfish as she thought I was, she would have to accept that her decision that we couldn't be friends was based on a missjudgement of me.

Now, I might be that selfish - but I have always taken the view that if I was I would tell her I wasn't. Or to put it another way, if she didn't come round on her own there wasn't anything I could do to convince her without actually proving her right about me. She's obviously perfectly happy without me - the fact that I haven't found another confidant to share my thoughts with, or another Christian whose love of God is so blindingly obvious it touches everyone around her. That's why everybody loves her.

Me? Well, we've gone this far, might as well go the final yard.

I love her enough I would die to protect her, not because of how she makes me feel, or how she feels about me - but because I'm more afraid of living in a world without her in it than I am of dying, and I'm very afraid of dying. That is how much I think of her, she makes the world a better place. What I could never offer her, however, was my life - I couldn't marry her, compromise my own life goals to make a life with her, bend so she could do what she wanted to do - even though if my phone went right now I'm walk the 20 miles nearest train station and get a ticket.

Sadly, this is not the 13th Century and women do not need knights to protect them.

Aside from that though, I'm a fairly popular, reasonably good looking, slim yound man with good proportions, a shock of dark hair and more than once women have litterally torn my shirt from my body in public - no, I'm not kidding that's actually happened, it was a really unpleasent experience. I just don't, I don't know, ask women out. That's why I think I'm not suited to having a relationship, I just don't... want girls who want me.

I know, I've been there. Despite my good looks, massive cash reseves, witty rapport, and massive genitailia I too have failed with women. Shit I started a thread about my high school sweetie breaking up with me. People didn't call me autistic they called me a pussy
Much better explnation than you being a closet autistic, no?

I'm not a pussy - I'm a coward. I think I remember that thread, didn't it have rain in?

Why does no one understand I can do whatever I want on here? I'm me, your you that's why. PVC decided he liked me a long a time ago and me calling him an ass once will not chnge that. Jurys still out on you. FWIW I like everyone on here except the people I don't.

Not to gang up on ACIN, but yes. Also - I was clearly an ass.

[Papewaio]

You are capable of love, and feel loss of a potential future.

So you are a decent human being who out of this have found love, faith and belief.

Hopefully you also learn how to empathize when others go through this too and it will make you a truly rounded individual.

I suggest hitting the gym or going for long runs. Might as well get some endorphin and fitness benefits as you run off the frustration.