So... What's the protocol when you find out via facebook that...

[Husar]

As to the "e-stalking" bit. Yeah, it's the facebook profile, looking at is is voyeuristic (but then I'm fairly sure she must have looked at mine in the past, but not recently). Down that road, however, lies madness and fantasies of twitching curtains.

Anyway, I'm all better now (pretty much).

I've read an entire article about how so many things in entertainment and games are voyeuristic because that makes things interesting in the first place.

Looking at a nice girl on the bus is also voyeuristic, but even worse, we're genetically programmed to look at the round bits, and so are women just as well.

I'd think unhealthy starts somewhere beyond this more natural attraction.

If you think it's not okay for religious reasons, then pray for the lord to take that urge away because you're a human and too weak.
My guess though is that he won't take it away.

I'm leaving her alone, it was the right choice four years ago - it's the right choice now.

Such is the way of things.

The question I have is, why does she keep you around as her Facebook friend if she is absolutely not interested in having contact with you again?
Are women that weak-willed that they simply don't dare to press an unfriend button, yet so strong-willed that they would insist on not having contact again when you tried to contact them?
Does that even make any sense?

I think I know how you feel but sometimes old friends are really happy when you just say hello again, I got old friends on Facebook too, you know.
Maybe not ones I hurt a lot but time also heals wounds.
Your choice but it does make me wonder.

By the way, if she's a christian she should be able to forgive you.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

It's just that there's no real culture shock. It's not like you joined the Select Brethren and isolated yourself from all non-believers.

I ask because I feel on some level that the direction my own life has taken is a pretty self-destructive one, and that my faith and the world that it exposed me to is both an influence on and a product of that direction. I can't say that my first forage into the world of Christianity outright caused or was caused by this direction, it's like it has complemented it.

It was a massive culture shock for them - the whole extended family are very anti-God and anti-Church, I was very isolated at the time. The way we get around it now is they are not allowed to ask any questions about that part of my life, and I don't offer any information.

To yourself - I think having read your posts for a long time you find it difficult to know where you fit into society, and until you do it's always going to be rough around the edges.

I could give you some dross about how your faith should be a calm point in your life but mine has been like being set on fire while being dipped in ice.

Look just stop it, you know the bolded bit is garbage and this is not the place for your trolling. The lame attempt to link it to some sort of emotional reaction to what PVC posted in another thread is pathetic.

My initial advice got the exact same reaction as yours, it wasn't that bad and he's allowed to vent in this sort of thread.

Even with what Strike said there can endearing element to that sort of bluntness but you are really trying to drag PVC down now. Stop it.

Easy, he already backed off - and I don't care really, it does not touch me.

By the way, if she's a christian she should be able to forgive you.

This either tells you something about her, or about how much I hurt her.

It's not her.

[Rhyfelwyr]

It was a massive culture shock for them - the whole extended family are very anti-God and anti-Church, I was very isolated at the time. The way we get around it now is they are not allowed to ask any questions about that part of my life, and I don't offer any information.

Did they outright shun you just because of your beliefs? I mean, you would go to church on Sunday, you might not have sex before marriage etc, but how would your faith affect everyday family life? You still get up, go to work, do some chores, sit down and eat dinner the same way, dress the same way etc.

Are your family very intellectual and like to debate a lot?

I kind of get it when Christian parents get really upset if their kid turns atheist, because they may think it makes him immoral and would be worried he goes to hell. But with atheist parents and a Christian kid, at worst surely they would only think he is being a bit stupid or deluded?

To yourself - I think having read your posts for a long time you find it difficult to know where you fit into society, and until you do it's always going to be rough around the edges.

It's got to the point where I think I could feature in one of Louis Theroux's 'Weird Weekend' documentaries.

I could give you some dross about how your faith should be a calm point in your life but mine has been like being set on fire while being dipped in ice.

I think the faith in and of itself is a source of peace. It feels great knowing that God's looking out for me, it would be a lonely universe without him. But inner peace doesn't always translate into peace on the outside world.

[Strike For The South]

You seem to be winding down. Maybe it was just an autism flare up....

I don't think your as emotionaly distant as you think you are. People deal with the 5 stages of grief difftrently espically denial. You obvs had a crush on this girl, could not articulate it, kept her close, due to the strong feelings but lack of articulation you drove her away, you nurtured some hope as long as she was unattached, now that she is you can't lie to yourself anymore.


I know, I've been there. Despite my good looks, massive cash reseves, witty rapport, and massive genitailia I too have failed with women. Shit I started a thread about my high school sweetie breaking up with me. People didn't call me autistic they called me a pussy
Much better explnation than you being a closet autistic, no?

It's fine for Strike to call him an ass but heaven forbid someone question why he developed his religiosity. What do you want me to be? Mr. Nice guy like I was in the beginning where I was told essentially to bug off because I was giving the "wrong advise"?

Why does no one understand I can do whatever I want on here? I'm me, your you that's why. PVC decided he liked me a long a time ago and me calling him an ass once will not chnge that. Jurys still out on you. FWIW I like everyone on here except the people I don't.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

You seem to be winding down. Maybe it was just an autism flare up....

I'm getting it back under control at least. Monday I didn't really sleep - Tuesday not much better, I started smiling again yesterday.

I don't think your as emotionaly distant as you think you are. People deal with the 5 stages of grief difftrently espically denial. You obvs had a crush on this girl, could not articulate it, kept her close, due to the strong feelings but lack of articulation you drove her away, you nurtured some hope as long as she was unattached, now that she is you can't lie to yourself anymore.

This is true, as far as it goes. The thing is though, I got over the crush about five years ago - I'm still not over the legs, I'll be honest. What I mourn is the loss of the friendship - as long as she was unattached a reproachment in the future might have been possible, though less likely with each passing day because in order for her to accept that I was not as selfish as she thought I was, she would have to accept that her decision that we couldn't be friends was based on a missjudgement of me.

Now, I might be that selfish - but I have always taken the view that if I was I would tell her I wasn't. Or to put it another way, if she didn't come round on her own there wasn't anything I could do to convince her without actually proving her right about me. She's obviously perfectly happy without me - the fact that I haven't found another confidant to share my thoughts with, or another Christian whose love of God is so blindingly obvious it touches everyone around her. That's why everybody loves her.

Me? Well, we've gone this far, might as well go the final yard.

I love her enough I would die to protect her, not because of how she makes me feel, or how she feels about me - but because I'm more afraid of living in a world without her in it than I am of dying, and I'm very afraid of dying. That is how much I think of her, she makes the world a better place. What I could never offer her, however, was my life - I couldn't marry her, compromise my own life goals to make a life with her, bend so she could do what she wanted to do - even though if my phone went right now I'm walk the 20 miles nearest train station and get a ticket.

Sadly, this is not the 13th Century and women do not need knights to protect them.

Aside from that though, I'm a fairly popular, reasonably good looking, slim yound man with good proportions, a shock of dark hair and more than once women have litterally torn my shirt from my body in public - no, I'm not kidding that's actually happened, it was a really unpleasent experience. I just don't, I don't know, ask women out. That's why I think I'm not suited to having a relationship, I just don't... want girls who want me.

I know, I've been there. Despite my good looks, massive cash reseves, witty rapport, and massive genitailia I too have failed with women. Shit I started a thread about my high school sweetie breaking up with me. People didn't call me autistic they called me a pussy
Much better explnation than you being a closet autistic, no?

I'm not a pussy - I'm a coward. I think I remember that thread, didn't it have rain in?

Why does no one understand I can do whatever I want on here? I'm me, your you that's why. PVC decided he liked me a long a time ago and me calling him an ass once will not chnge that. Jurys still out on you. FWIW I like everyone on here except the people I don't.

Not to gang up on ACIN, but yes. Also - I was clearly an ass.

[Papewaio]

You are capable of love, and feel loss of a potential future.

So you are a decent human being who out of this have found love, faith and belief.

Hopefully you also learn how to empathize when others go through this too and it will make you a truly rounded individual.

I suggest hitting the gym or going for long runs. Might as well get some endorphin and fitness benefits as you run off the frustration.