Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
You seem to be winding down. Maybe it was just an autism flare up....
I'm getting it back under control at least. Monday I didn't really sleep - Tuesday not much better, I started smiling again yesterday.

I don't think your as emotionaly distant as you think you are. People deal with the 5 stages of grief difftrently espically denial. You obvs had a crush on this girl, could not articulate it, kept her close, due to the strong feelings but lack of articulation you drove her away, you nurtured some hope as long as she was unattached, now that she is you can't lie to yourself anymore.
This is true, as far as it goes. The thing is though, I got over the crush about five years ago - I'm still not over the legs, I'll be honest. What I mourn is the loss of the friendship - as long as she was unattached a reproachment in the future might have been possible, though less likely with each passing day because in order for her to accept that I was not as selfish as she thought I was, she would have to accept that her decision that we couldn't be friends was based on a missjudgement of me.

Now, I might be that selfish - but I have always taken the view that if I was I would tell her I wasn't. Or to put it another way, if she didn't come round on her own there wasn't anything I could do to convince her without actually proving her right about me. She's obviously perfectly happy without me - the fact that I haven't found another confidant to share my thoughts with, or another Christian whose love of God is so blindingly obvious it touches everyone around her. That's why everybody loves her.

Me? Well, we've gone this far, might as well go the final yard.

I love her enough I would die to protect her, not because of how she makes me feel, or how she feels about me - but because I'm more afraid of living in a world without her in it than I am of dying, and I'm very afraid of dying. That is how much I think of her, she makes the world a better place. What I could never offer her, however, was my life - I couldn't marry her, compromise my own life goals to make a life with her, bend so she could do what she wanted to do - even though if my phone went right now I'm walk the 20 miles nearest train station and get a ticket.

Sadly, this is not the 13th Century and women do not need knights to protect them.

Aside from that though, I'm a fairly popular, reasonably good looking, slim yound man with good proportions, a shock of dark hair and more than once women have litterally torn my shirt from my body in public - no, I'm not kidding that's actually happened, it was a really unpleasent experience. I just don't, I don't know, ask women out. That's why I think I'm not suited to having a relationship, I just don't... want girls who want me.

I know, I've been there. Despite my good looks, massive cash reseves, witty rapport, and massive genitailia I too have failed with women. Shit I started a thread about my high school sweetie breaking up with me. People didn't call me autistic they called me a pussy
Much better explnation than you being a closet autistic, no?
I'm not a pussy - I'm a coward. I think I remember that thread, didn't it have rain in?

Why does no one understand I can do whatever I want on here? I'm me, your you that's why. PVC decided he liked me a long a time ago and me calling him an ass once will not chnge that. Jurys still out on you. FWIW I like everyone on here except the people I don't.
Not to gang up on ACIN, but yes. Also - I was clearly an ass.