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Thread: Madness!
So, I came back to my house today after a walk, and noticed that the door was open. I snuck inside and peered into the dining room, and there I saw it! It had mostly white fur, except a little black mane and some black fur around the eyes. It was shaped like a dog, only a very tall, skinny build. I was terrified when I realized what was standing there in my dining room: a feral polar jackal!
I had of course hear of them in legends, but I had never seen one before. I had read of their famed nimbility and quickness, and that they had an obsession with candle sticks. This was actually what helped me identify him, as he was placing his jaws around the single, golden candle stick in the center of my dining room table. The cardinal rule of dealing with feral polar jackals: never come between a polar jackal and his candle stick. I made the wise decision to retreat back to the hallway and wait for him to depart.
Just as I was about to do this however, a huge red man burst through the door that adjoined the kitchen to the dining room and pointed his pitchfork angrily at the Jackal "Boy! Put that candlestick down!", he roared "Or I'll come down on you harder than a ton of brick!"
The Jackal let out a small yip and dashed toward the hallway, but I jumped out and cut him off. He nimbly dodged to the side and the huge red man was close behind! Everytime that the man seemed to catch up to the feral polar jackal, he would nimbly jump out of the way and they would continue their circuit around the room. Out of nowhere a roaring snake slithered out from the garbage bin after two frightened mice! One mouse was spotted black and white, and the other was blonde and had a belly...a big one.
They ran out under the feral polar jackal's feet and tripped him. The jackal and the big red man went crashing into the counter and everything came crashing down. Oh NO! There, amongst the falling bowls and plates and silverware was a spoon! I knew what this meant! Desperately I lunged toward the spoon to stop it from hitting the floor, but I was too late. In a flash of thunderous noise and blurring movement, everyone in the village was dead and my house was rubble. The great Heffer Ninja had been displeased.
That's my day so far, how is yours?
I had of course hear of them in legends, but I had never seen one before. I had read of their famed nimbility and quickness, and that they had an obsession with candle sticks. This was actually what helped me identify him, as he was placing his jaws around the single, golden candle stick in the center of my dining room table. The cardinal rule of dealing with feral polar jackals: never come between a polar jackal and his candle stick. I made the wise decision to retreat back to the hallway and wait for him to depart.
Just as I was about to do this however, a huge red man burst through the door that adjoined the kitchen to the dining room and pointed his pitchfork angrily at the Jackal "Boy! Put that candlestick down!", he roared "Or I'll come down on you harder than a ton of brick!"
The Jackal let out a small yip and dashed toward the hallway, but I jumped out and cut him off. He nimbly dodged to the side and the huge red man was close behind! Everytime that the man seemed to catch up to the feral polar jackal, he would nimbly jump out of the way and they would continue their circuit around the room. Out of nowhere a roaring snake slithered out from the garbage bin after two frightened mice! One mouse was spotted black and white, and the other was blonde and had a belly...a big one.
They ran out under the feral polar jackal's feet and tripped him. The jackal and the big red man went crashing into the counter and everything came crashing down. Oh NO! There, amongst the falling bowls and plates and silverware was a spoon! I knew what this meant! Desperately I lunged toward the spoon to stop it from hitting the floor, but I was too late. In a flash of thunderous noise and blurring movement, everyone in the village was dead and my house was rubble. The great Heffer Ninja had been displeased.
That's my day so far, how is yours?
Kinda similar really
You devalue literacy
Originally Posted by Strike For The South:
You devalue literacy
It's true! It really happened!You devalue literacy
Originally Posted by Fragony:
Kinda similar really
Don't you hate days like that?Kinda similar really
Originally Posted by Vuk:
Don't you hate days like that?
It isn't always like that some days are normal, I think it was a thursdayDon't you hate days like that?
You really shouldn't eat mushrooms you find in the woods.
Originally Posted by drone:
You really shouldn't eat mushrooms you find in the woods.
^^ this.You really shouldn't eat mushrooms you find in the woods.
You can also find them in the woods?
Originally Posted by drone:
You really shouldn't eat mushrooms you find in the woods.
Nah, no mushrooms...just writing about something that happened to me after four days without sleep. It may have come out a little fantastical.You really shouldn't eat mushrooms you find in the woods.
Well it became a bit unrealistic when you claimed the heffer-ninja was displeased, everybody knows he's a pretty mellow guy. He probably wasn't all that angry, just a bit dissapointed.
Originally Posted by Fragony:
Well it became a bit unrealistic when you claimed the heffer-ninja was displeased, everybody knows he's a pretty mellow guy. He probably wasn't all that angry, just a bit dissapointed.
lol Frags, Da Heffer is a she! Be careful, lest you anger the great Heffer Ninja!Well it became a bit unrealistic when you claimed the heffer-ninja was displeased, everybody knows he's a pretty mellow guy. He probably wasn't all that angry, just a bit dissapointed.
Here is a picture of the Great and Mighty Heffer!
He, she, whatever. I am Dutch remember. My cat Blitzkrieg is not impressed
And Nero is too busy
And Nero is too busy
Originally Posted by Fragony:
He, she, whatever. I am Dutch remember. My cat Blitzkrieg is not impressed
And Nero is too busy
lol, I picked a silly pic of her. Nice pics, I esp like Nero. (I actually had a female cat named Nero once...Heffer's mother actually. Nero was short for nerotic, because she was always scared of the shadows :P) You must be careful what you say about the Heffer though Frags, because she is the most leet beast in the world. True story, when I was putting on a roof to my house, she literally climbed straight up the vertical wall and onto the eaves to be with me. Even when the overhang had plywood over it, she would jump out and latch onto it, and then pull her way up. She also can climb metal ladders, steel roofs, jump out of 9+ foot pits, etc. She is actually a really small cat (her thick fur makes her look bigger than she is), but when she was young and had dominance issues, she used to go outside and fight all kinds of strays just like our male cats, and would come away from fights with very large males without any permanent marks. (though she did lose two claws and one of her teeth to fighting, you really cannot tell when her mouth is closed He, she, whatever. I am Dutch remember. My cat Blitzkrieg is not impressed
And Nero is too busy
) She's over 10 years old now, and she still goes outside and spends most of the day hunting and wandering about.Actually, when I got my latest cat (a stray with a crooked tail), Farmer/Manly/Big Red Man, he and the Heffer didn't get along too well. Even though he is probably less than three years old and much bigger than her, she wooped him good and proper a few times. You just can't beat crazy. :P
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Nero has a temper, but he's almost in his twenties (not kidding) 
He's not quite right though he still thinks he is a croissant https://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v...er_media_share
He's not quite right though he still thinks he is a croissant https://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v...er_media_share
Originally Posted by Fragony:
Nero has a temper, but he's almost in his twenties (not kidding)
He's not quite right though he still thinks he is a croissant https://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v...er_media_share
lol, he is cute. That's cool that he has lived that long. The longest living cat I have known is my sister's, who is 18, but he has cancer now, and is in really bad shape, so I don't think he is going live much longer. (his name is booger, and believe it or not, even though there is an age gap of 8 years between them, he is actually the Heffers father)Nero has a temper, but he's almost in his twenties (not kidding)
He's not quite right though he still thinks he is a croissant https://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v...er_media_share
I cannot look at the album you linked, because it requires a password BTW.
Should work, Nero in a very bad mood https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...y/ca386648.jpg
And as a croissant
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...y/eda40261.jpg
And as a croissant
https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...y/eda40261.jpg
The cats are cute, -10 man points to both of you.
Sorry about the Cancer Vuk.
Sorry about the Cancer Vuk.
We are still men
Real men aren't afraid to admit that they like cats.
You should not go 4 days without sleep, it hurts your immune system and since you are an unvaccinated heathen you will in turn infect people when you get mono.
cat threads are the worst...
Originally Posted by The Stranger:
cat threads are the worst...
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Originally Posted by The Stranger:
cat threads are the worst...
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