Offspring

[Papewaio]

Something like 90+% of people marry into the same racial, ethnic, religious and social group they were born into.

In Australia 80% of Indian women marry an Indian man, whilst only 10% of American women marry another American.

Chinese men are 91% likely to marry a Chinese woman.

Overall it hits around 40% mixed marriages.

[Kadagar_AV]

Thanks for the replies :)

SFTS, anecdotal evidence wasn't really what I was after here...

Tiaexz , You talk about how adoptees become part of the family, before going on how the other family members grew cold and distant to you... Wouldn't that strengthen my point?

Also, I don't get what you meant drawing the parallel of getting a pet... Most parents would take a bullet for their kid, how many would take a bullet for their dog, or cat?

PVC, My sister and her guy has been together 3 years, but I have only been around them for 2 years as I used to live in Austria. The two other kids my sisters BF brought from his past relationship are 9 and 13. They live with their mom every other week.

There is just no chance I can see them as my family.

Not only do we not have any genetic scraps in common, they have also been raised by non-family, and continue spending 50% of the time in another family.

So... my half-sister have two "plastic kids" (Swedish term, what is the correct english one?) every other week... I do feel it hard to see much (or any) of my familys nature OR nurture in them.

The fact that the boy is a whiny girlieboy of course doesn't help, I feel like bonking him on the head when I see him.

My sister has not adopted these kids, but in Sweden it's culturally accepted that their arrangement gives her equal status in society's eyes (Sweden, remember? Basically imagine famlily views drafted HoreTore).

Ajaxfetish, as someone mentioned, I think the kids can read insincerity. Also, when I take on a child and make it my family, it means I would do ANYTHING for this kid. I just... do... not... feel.... like doing that with these 2 others.

I'm not rude to the two other or anything, I help them and behave around them like I would with, say, the kids of a work mate that you like. I take interest in them, I can toss them a favour.... But I would not let their well being and education interfere too much with my life.

Rhyf, It's not like I exclude them. If I am at their place I treat them like I do any kids (generally go down on their mental level and have fun). I'm talking about the bigger things, like, taking my youngest kid skiing for a weekend and such. I don't mind having one kid along, 3 is a whole other deal... And if two of them are ill raised "strangers"... Then...

[rory_20_uk]

I want my own children.

My son's mother is not the same race as me. He is clearly my son. He is not the same colour but that is only one facet.

[Sigurd]

Right... so you take a 2 year old skiing? A bit on the early side...

[Kadagar_AV]

Right... so you take a 2 year old skiing? A bit on the early side...

He'll be 2,5 this winter... It's not too early, starting that young is in fact great, as the kids don't have any fears yet. So you can just hook them up to a line, lock the tips of their skis together so they cant do anything stupid, and then you can take them on any run (You just have to make short turns behind them to control their speed as you hold a line attached to their harness).

I can honestly say that I am a very very good ski instructor. I take pride in few things, but that is most def one.

[Sigurd]

He'll be 2,5 this winter... It's not too early, starting that young is in fact great, as the kids don't have any fears yet. So you can just hook them up to a line, lock the tips of their skis together so they cant do anything stupid, and then you can take them on any run (You just have to make short turns behind them to control their speed as you hold a line attached to their harness).

I can honestly say that I am a very very good ski instructor. I take pride in few things, but that is most def one.

You are the instructor and I can't say what is norm. But I didn't start my career until I had finished devloping my motory skills and was able to ski on my own. That was the philosophy of the generation of my parents and produced great skiiers like Lasse Kjus and Kjetil Andre Åmot. Then it was all about letting the child keep balance on their own and use no aids.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I went up against Lasse when young. We were about the same height, weight and age.
Since I am from the west, we tend to be more focused on freestyle, and I did train with the national freestyle team when in highschool, but I was a bit heavier than the average freestyler and preffered downhill. No one dared to take me on amongst the people I socialized with then. The Navy took me out of active training and I am kinda inactive these days, being a casual skiier... taking a few breaking turns when the ski partol is around

[Kadagar_AV]

99.999% is not enough for you?

Now you are grasping at straws... No, I do most def not feel as connected to asian kid as I would my own kid, just because we share human DNA. You would, or what was your point?

You are the instructor and I can't say what is norm. But I didn't start my career until I had finished devloping my motory skills and was able to ski on my own. That was the philosophy of the generation of my parents and produced great skiiers like Lasse Kjus and Kjetil Andre Åmot. Then it was all about letting the child keep balance on their own and use no aids.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

I went up against Lasse when young. We were about the same height, weight and age.
Since I am from the west, we tend to be more focused on freestyle, and I did train with the national freestyle team when in highschool, but I was a bit heavier than the average freestyler and preffered downhill. No one dared to take me on amongst the people I socialized with then. The Navy took me out of active training and I am kinda inactive these days, being a casual skiier... taking a few breaking turns when the ski partol is around

Those both were the generation above me, so we probably haven't met on the slopes then.

Basically, if you can walk you can ski. We have equipment we use today we didn't have when you were young, and we also teach more developed techniques..

Don't get me wrong, a 2,5 yo is by no means optimal, for group lessons I would say 4 yo minimally. But now we talk about a kid having a dedicated personal instructor with a safety harness and skies you can't cross. Kids that small have no weight, so controlling them on a elastic leash is no problem what so ever.

They wont learn short turns anytime soon of course, the main reason I'd take kids that young is that skiing should be something they "just do", it shouldnt be something they "learnt". You basically remove all elements of fear from skiing, which in the long run will enhance their skiing progress a LOT over the years :)

So we who are into skiing doesnt start our kids young to enhance their technique short term, the training is directed towards eleminating fear and making skiing a natural mean of movement rather than something "special you occasionally do".

My dad was a ski instructor, and he changed diapers on me up on the glaciers.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm a hairy Japanese guy with long hair and a beard that listens to death metal. How much more un-Asian can you get?

In my case, the same social group is a more viable factor than same ethnic group. I cannot say the same for the majority of other people, though.

Find a Japanese metal fan, guarantee you'll have a broader gambit of stuff in common with her than a white metal fan.

In Australia 80% of Indian women marry an Indian man, whilst only 10% of American women marry another American.

Chinese men are 91% likely to marry a Chinese woman.

Overall it hits around 40% mixed marriages.

10% of American women in Australia?

PVC, My sister and her guy has been together 3 years, but I have only been around them for 2 years as I used to live in Austria. The two other kids my sisters BF brought from his past relationship are 9 and 13. They live with their mom every other week.

There is just no chance I can see them as my family.

Not only do we not have any genetic scraps in common, they have also been raised by non-family, and continue spending 50% of the time in another family.

So... my half-sister have two "plastic kids" (Swedish term, what is the correct english one?) every other week... I do feel it hard to see much (or any) of my familys nature OR nurture in them.

The fact that the boy is a whiny girlieboy of course doesn't help, I feel like bonking him on the head when I see him.

My sister has not adopted these kids, but in Sweden it's culturally accepted that their arrangement gives her equal status in society's eyes (Sweden, remember? Basically imagine famlily views drafted HoreTore).

Ah - I get it. The boy's a whiny little bitch and you want to slap him into being a man, but you can't.

But also - she didn't marry this guy when she took on his kids? Did he marry the other woman?

Sounds dodgy to me.

[Kadagar_AV]

Find a Japanese metal fan, guarantee you'll have a broader gambit of stuff in common with her than a white metal fan.



10% of American women in Australia?



Ah - I get it. The boy's a whiny little bitch and you want to slap him into being a man, but you can't.

But also - she didn't marry this guy when she took on his kids? Did he marry the other woman?

Sounds dodgy to me.

Oh... He was VD of a large company, my sister was working for him... He was married and had two kids, but are now together with my sister and they have a child together. I don't respect him OR my sister for that, it very much goes against my moral principles.

But I am sidetracking the issue (maybe?).


I am proud of my family name. I have a proud family history, so of course I see it as a mission to make all parts of the family a proper [insert surname here]. But how am I supposed to do that with two kids who are NOT [insert surname here]?

[Montmorency]

Not only do we not have any genetic scraps in common,

99.999% is not enough for you?

[Veho Nex]

My dad remarried a few years ago with a lady who had 3 kids from a previous husband. The problem with these kids is that I'm supposed to treat them like brother and sister, but 2 of them are drug addicts without a H.S. diploma and the other is a college dropout who got knocked up by some hippy who left her for a different woman.

If I knew these people in any other situation I'd look down on them. I don't see them as relatives in any sense of the word, but, I'm supposed to treat them like they are my brothers and sister.

For my other siblings I'd take a bullet for, even my half older brother who has a different dad, heck we practically look like twins. The other kids though, I wouldn't take the time to hand them a kleenex unless they specifically asked for it using my name.

[Papewaio]

Stats I provided were for couples in Australia.

=][=

KAV you do seem to be acting like a mother-in-law from hell. "No one is good enough for my family" and giving all the non related family members the cold shoulder.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

What I'm hearing is that Kadagar doesn't respect his sister's boyfriend, doesn't much like how they got together and doesn't like the guys kids.

I've gotta be honest - I'm with the gigalo here.

What's he supposed to do? By the sounds of it the older children wouldn't benefit as much from the offer anyway.

[Centurion1]

psh im part mexican asian and a butt load of different europeans east and west. Screw it. I identify most with being slavic so those are the girls i like but I could care lessl no women are off limits. And i would love to adopt; id adopt strike if he wasnt an alcoholic. Blood and ethnicity is irrelevant who cares if you look like your parents all that matters if you raise them and at the end of the day when your dying they are at your bedside saying i love you dad.

also is the swede serious about this? jesus internet anecdotes ftw

another edit: i guess my father doesnt love me because im not irish enough and am a dirty croatian. Kadagar you just drip scandinavian racism.

[Kadagar_AV]

psh im part mexican asian and a butt load of different europeans east and west. Screw it. I identify most with being slavic so those are the girls i like but I could care lessl no women are off limits. And i would love to adopt; id adopt strike if he wasnt an alcoholic. Blood and ethnicity is irrelevant who cares if you look like your parents all that matters if you raise them and at the end of the day when your dying they are at your bedside saying i love you dad.

also is the swede serious about this? jesus internet anecdotes ftw

another edit: i guess my father doesnt love me because im not irish enough and am a dirty croatian. Kadagar you just drip scandinavian racism.

It might do you good in further debates - if you don't FIRST explain how you have no family tradition before bashing people feeling a loss of theirs. Might make people read what you write with more interest, you know.

EDIT: Slavic? And here I thought you were negroid.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Too much Alpha in this thread. How is a beta poster supposed to contribute here?

[Beskar]

Tiaexz , You talk about how adoptees become part of the family, before going on how the other family members grew cold and distant to you... Wouldn't that strengthen my point?

No, it doesn't strengthen your point, it weakens it immensely. Because the fact that the child in this case (me) loved non-blood family members as much as my blood ones. It was only those who focused on that point who grew cold, but those close to me still retained their bonds.

It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think it will be an issue, so you see it as an issue.

Also, since you now provided information, the children live with their mother. You can feel safe not seeing them as part of your family as they are not involved with your family. If the children were living with your sister, it is an entirely different point.

I did get along with my step-mothers family, but it was nice gestures and hellos. You don't need to go "out" of your way for them, but it might be nice to be at least pleasant towards them.

[ajaxfetish]

Ajaxfetish, as someone mentioned, I think the kids can read insincerity. Also, when I take on a child and make it my family, it means I would do ANYTHING for this kid. I just... do... not... feel.... like doing that with these 2 others.

I'm not rude to the two other or anything, I help them and behave around them like I would with, say, the kids of a work mate that you like. I take interest in them, I can toss them a favour.... But I would not let their well being and education interfere too much with my life.

I expressed myself poorly there. I don't mean you need to try to deceive them into thinking they mean as much to you. The idea is one of equal treatment. Think of employers, who are legally allowed to despise any class of people they like, but still may not discriminate against them in hiring or treatment on the job. The same kind of principle applies.

Ajax