Can't we just drop a nuke on the Vatican

[Arjos]

This is simply the best 'compromise' solution and the one that makes the most sense. Religious bodies should be able to conduct gay marriages but should not be compelled to do so.

Or the other solution is pretty much my solution, which is to separate marriage from the state, which means when you get married in a church, nothing actually happened legally and you get no tax breaks or similar 'incentives'.

I completely agree, but at least here in Italy, after civil unions passed, one side complained that it wasn't enough, while the other pointed out how it minimized the church and what marriage represents religiously...
In the end, someone will always take issue: so democratically legislate, letting time and education weed out bigots :P