Choose Your Own Adventure Mafia [Concluded]

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

Tying it up and hoping for the best is a worse option than simply lynching one suspect - tie creates a 1/6 chance of two lynches, 1/3 chance of a suspect being lynched, and 1/2 chance of something else entirely (2/3 of which will automatically be bad for the town)

On a sidenote: destroy the artifact and lynch Elite Ferret.

[Visor]

Tally me banana:

Elite (Lazy, Bsmith, Visor)
BSmith (Elite)

Unvote; Vote: Elite Ferret

[Visor]

I agree with the (lengthy) analysis posted here. BSmith has come out of the woodwork, but I'm not feeling what he is saying rings scum to me anymore. If he is, then that was a great effort to get the attention off of you and well done. But the way ferret has acted, I agree that the best chance for our scummer that is active is Elite, hence my vote. I'm not going to do a WeW and not show up like last game.

Death or glory.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I note that it would have been possible for two active scumbags to tie it up at any point this round if dcmort was a townie.

The fact that we have 3 votes on a given candidate AND the candidate in question was not the first choice of anyone, tells me that town is actually in control of this lynch. (Note: Meaning that the scumbags did not succeed in getting either their first or second target lynched. That alone improves town's chances of being correct)

The alternative is that the 2 scums are voting together with one townie against Elite Ferret, which was the likely outcome anyway given that we can't outvote them.

As such, I'd call this outcome the best possible based on what we know. Obviously we could be wrong but in no other scenario would I be this optimistic about our chances.

[Ferret]

You are making the wrong decision guys.

Remember in Jarema's game when you became convinced I was scum but then I flipped innocent? The same thing is about to happen here.

It seems that I come across as a townie when I'm scum and scummy when I'm a townie.

[Askthepizzaguy]

You are making the wrong decision guys.

Remember in Jarema's game when you became convinced I was scum but then I flipped innocent? The same thing is about to happen here.

It seems that I come across as a townie when I'm scum and scummy when I'm a townie.

Your first choice was Visorslash.

It was not like pulling teeth to get two people to lynch him. In fact, yourself, BSmith, and Lazy all voted for him at one point. That's every active player besides Visorslash himself.

How much does a townie wager it's going to be that simple on a round with 2 scumbags left? They don't have to bus a partner here.

Visor was clearly innocent based on his lack of an attempt to steer people his way. He opened with the OMGUS, and his "analysis" was putting a vote to BSmith rather than acting like he cared about what happened next. Cool as a cucumber and also clearly acting independently of anyone else in the game. If he's the SK, he put on a great and winning performance because he's the first guy I marked off as innocent this round. Don't know where y'all were at when you decided he was guilty but hey, difference of opinion. Visor was left alive because everyone was willing to lynch him.

LazyMcCrow, a bit iffy due to his mistaken finger pointing. I could see him as part of an active two man team but that's not the case, because he was willing to kill pretty much anyone this round, so if he had an active partner he was willing to kill that person, needlessly. If he was the only active person out of a two man team then he drew a lot of attention to himself. My theory is he is townie and made every effort to find the scums but failed to do so. He was left alive because he was a target and he kept missing the correct target.

BSmith could easily have been guilty, and I've gotten bad reads on him numerous times. He looked townie this round because he, like the others, was willing to lynch anyone, and he was also willing to keep the vote count low. He displayed no eagerness or rush to tie the vote up, and actively accused and voted for people. Early. Taking the risks and causing the discussion to move forward. Who didn't do that, who was the outlier?

The outlier was the guy who did not act with aggression, did not take any risks, and did not behave as if they were trying to help town win the game *this round* which is the only round remaining it's possible for town to finally reverse course.

The guy who voted before reading the situation carefully, who wagoned Visorslash, and whose response to stepping in it was to self vote rather than try to solve the game.

You were willing to follow whoever we voted for, but were not willing to take the risk and make the first move. Your suggested courses of action would have doomed the town and further, continued to misdirect people into thinking there was a SK remaining and that we could afford a no lynch.

You were also the target that nobody wanted to vote for at first, which means that, the outcome of this round was not a mafia suggestion, the lynch choice came from the town, and that also means that the mafia suggested the deaths of Visorslash and BSmith today, and neither event occurred.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Of note: Visorslash and Elite Ferret both mentioned dcmort's inactivity and both suggested courses of action which would leave him alive.

No one else paid any attention to dcmort, and at this point I think it's quite clear that either dcmort is guilty or this entire round was a farce that town couldn't have won anyway.

So, we either lynch the active scum today and win tomorrow with the dcmort lynch, having not taken the boring lynch dcmort first path, or we lynch a townie and congratulate Visorslash on a game well played. I'll also be charging him for my services as lawyer.

[Ferret]

I read the situation carefully enough and decided Visorslash seemed the most guilty to me. The only reason I changed that vote was because I had seen the idea of a no lynch briefly mentioned in your post that appeared whilst I was writing my previous post. Obviously that part was a mistake because of two awful flaws: ties didn't mean a no lynch and there is more than one scum player left.

Having realised that I no longer 'misdirected' the town, all I have done is explained my previous thinking to TC and voted out of self preservation.

Had I been online before BSmith I would have been happy to make the first move, the fact that he voted and accused people first in no way attests to his innocence.

I know none of this will make any difference at this point, it's just a shame for the town to lose like this.

[Askthepizzaguy]

I see no shame in it.

What would have been shameful is a tied vote or a listless discussion phase or a lack of activity or voting. This round has been among the more interesting endings we've experienced.

Being wrong in a guessing game is part of the game. And if it is Visorslash plenty of folks get to say I told you so and I get to take most of the heat for the loss.

[Visor]

I don't think we're wrong. But I agree with you wholeheartedly Pizza. I went to bed expecting two votes, little to no discussion and me to be lynched. When I woke up and checked the thread, it was a pleasant surprise. I'm annoyed that I never get to actually discuss anything with people before it is too late, due to timezones.

And yes, this round ending has been very interesting, even if I wasn't there to participate.

As you say, being wrong is part of the game. What would've been a shame if this never happened. Town loses, mafia wins, mafia loses, town wins. It changes from game to game. The only shame is non-participation. Losing should not be shameful, at least not in this context.

[Montmorency]

He flat-out admitted his guilt.

[Askthepizzaguy]

He flat-out admitted his guilt.

Who did, where?

[TinCow]

The only shame is non-participation.

QFT

[Choxorn]

The ghost of choxorn attempts to find some objects in the wreckage that he can use to spell out "TL;DR"

[Visor]

Quite surprised I wasn't metagamed after what happened Night 1.

It's been great killing you all though. Always enjoy that.

EDIT: Day is now over.

[BSmith]

You sure?

[Visor]

Yep. Last writeup was at 12:32 my time. It is now 12:39 my time.

It was 9:32 pm when Chaotix did the writeup (in his timezone) and it is 9:39 pm now.

[Montmorency]

I suspected you since N1/D2.

[Visor]

I suspected you since N1/D2.

I thought so. I just couldn't resist it.

[Montmorency]

At least now I can claim that the town was doomed from the moment of my death.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Quite surprised I wasn't metagamed after what happened Night 1.

It's been great killing you all though. Always enjoy that.

EDIT: Day is now over.

Blows kisses at Visorslash.

[Chaotix]

Round over.

Elite Ferret has been lynched.

Standby for write-up.

[Chaotix]

DAY 9

From the destroyed lobby of the Hexagon, the team of five plus one Foreman headed straight for the elevators, now completely unguarded. More than a few dead Coldenskians littered the floors, so they had to tread carefully. It was a perfect opportunity for them to pick up some weapons, however.

When they were inside the elevator, they surveyed their options. There were buttons covering all the walls – some with labels and some without, but far too many to count. The team looked on in bewilderment. LazyMcCrow scratched his chin.

“Hmm… something doesn’t add up here. Aha! I’ve got it.”

Foreman Chaotix jammed his finger on a button labeled “Base 16”. Upon doing this, most of the other buttons disappeared and the rest rearranged themselves into a more familiar format. There were buttons for floors 1 through 6 and for basements B1 through B5, as well as the other usual sorts of buttons you might find on an elevator.

“The only logical place to keep a secret mind-control artifact would be an underground bunker. Let’s head to B5 and then try to find an entrance from there.”

“Good thinking, Elite Ferret. B5 it is.”

When they arrived on B5, they were immediately greeted with Coldenski guns. The team hid around the side of the elevator, while BSmith tossed in a grenade, blowing away all the resistance. The fact that there were any of them, though, suggested that Elite Ferret’s thinking was correct.

They continued down the hall, checking corners carefully and looking for anything suspicious. Eventually they came across a small, empty room. Inside were two soldiers standing guard. Visorslash took a closer look.

“What are they guarding? The room is empty… except for that poster.”

Indeed, there was a poster on the wall immediately behind the guards. LazyMcCrow scratched his chin.

“Time to find out.”

Two well-placed shots dropped the guards.

“What’s so important about this poster, anyway?”

It was the typical kind of Coldenski propaganda – an image of a fat businessman from the Republic with robot slaves cooking a lavish feast for him while a poor Coldenski family starves just outside his door.

“This is dirty collectivist nonsense!”

Offended, Elite Ferret ripped the poster off of the wall. Behind it was a large red button. Upon pressing it, the wall collapsed, revealing a secret staircase behind it.

“Stupid Coldenskis. Who guards something supposed to stay hidden?”

They began to make their way down the stairs.

“dcmort, stay here and watch our backs. Radio if there’s any trouble.”

dcmort93, who was asleep standing up, responded by collapsing against a nearby wall and sliding slowly to the ground. He started to drool.

“Good enough.”

The staircase led out into a wide open room, covered in shiny black tile. It was completely empty. A metal bulkhead slammed shut behind them, trapping them in. A timer appeared on a great screen on the wall and began counting down.



The metal face of Robo-Premier Boltschev appeared behind the timer and began to jeer at them.

“VELCOME TO YOU, CAPITALIST DOGS. THIS IS VHERE YOU VILL BE HAVINK YOUR FINAL MOMENTS. AT THE END OF THIS COUNTDOWN, YOU VILL BE WATCHING AS THE ENTIRE VORLD WILL BE HAVINK REJOICE. THE SPACE VHALE ARTIFACT, SAFE ON THE ROOF OF THE HEXAGON, VILL BRING COLLECTIVISM TO ALL PEOPLES. AND THIS ROOM VILL BE FILLINK WITH BULLETS! HAHAHAHAHA!”

BSmith panicked.

“We’re trapped here! This was a trap!”

“It certainly seems that way.”

LazyMcCrow scratched his chin.

“If we got trapped, that means they knew we were coming.”

Visorslash seemed to have an idea.

“That means someone must have told them – another Coldenski spy! I bet it’s the same person who led us down here!”

They all turned to look at Elite Ferret, who had remained silent.

“The penalty for treason is death.”

Suddenly, the Ghost of Choxorn appeared.

"Don't do it! He's innocent! Come on guys, listen to me!"

Of course, nobody saw or heard the ghost of Choxorn, because he is a ghost and not able to directly contact the living. He disappeared in a ghostly poof, disappointed.

“No! It’s not what it looks like, I swear it! I had no idea this was down here, I just thought they would have an underground base!”

Visorslash fired. Elite Ferret dropped to the ground, a bullet through his traitorous heart.

“Now that we’ve taken care of the traitor, it’s time to find a way to stop this countdown and retrieve the artifact…”

BEGIN NIGHT 9

---

Alive: 5
BSmith - Is freaking out.
dcmort93 - Is sleeping through the action.
LazyMcCrow - Is scratching his chin.
Visorslash - Is looking a little trigger happy...
Foreman Chaotix - Is in for one hell of a ride.



Not Alive: 22
Choxorn - Should've said he was a witch.
Zack - Will probably be reincarnated as a Space Whale.
The King - Is probably wishing he was still called Ibn Khaldun.
Darth Feather - Never liked licorice much anyway.
Montmorency - Is probably medium-rare right about now.
Makrell - Is in sweet, sweet heaven.
TinCow - Shouldn't have lost his head in that argument.
Arjos - He may be dead, but his legacy lives on...
Ishmael - Is between a rock and a hot place. Actually, he is between two hot molten rocks. Or actually it could be three.
Double A - Swam in so much sugar he got the bends.
Jolt - Has been put on ice.
Askthepizzaguy - His maniacal plans have been foiled.
Ironside - Victim of a post-hijacking.
robbiecon - Endured horrors so terrible they could not be shown in this programme.
Gaius Scribonius Curio - They say you are what you eat, but he never did eat his vegetables.
edse - Should've listened to the rules.
autolycus - Snacked out, then bit the bullet.
Jarema - Is now the engine of Republican victory.
Riedquat - They took his life, but not his dignity.
White_eyes:D - Forgot to bring a parachute.
Csargo - FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM!
Elite Ferret - Was a dirty, cowardly collectivist to the bitter end?

[Askthepizzaguy]

Elite Ferret - Was a dirty, cowardly collectivist to the bitter end?

The white question mark shows up pretty brightly on guild skin.

[Chaotix]

The white question mark shows up pretty brightly on guild skin.

Use Morbid skin then, smart guy. It works with that one.

[Askthepizzaguy]

What has been seen cannot be un-seen.

[Chaotix]

NIGHT 9

The four of them searched all over the room, but they couldn’t find anything resembling a false panel or an off switch to the timer. LazyMcCrow was tired of looking, and the timer was almost out.

“Forget this! Let’s just blow open the door!”

They grabbed all the grenades they had brought, pulled the pins, and piled them up. Then they dived out of the way. The metal bulkhead was blasted open by the sheer force of the explosion. They rushed for the stairs. Panels began to open up on the walls. As soon as they had escaped they heard the machine guns start to fire.

At the top of the landing, dcmort93 was still snoozing on the floor.

“dcmort! Wake up!”

dcmort93 did not wake up.

“Come on, dcmort! We need you!”

dcmort93 did not respond. Foreman Chaotix moved closer.

“Damn it!”

On closer inspection, dcmort93 was not snoozing. He was dead. On the back of his neck, they found a tiny dart. It was labeled “LIQUID MARSHMALLOW”.

The team continued without him to the elevator. Once inside, BSmith pushed the button marked “6” and they prepared for the ride up.

When they arrived on the top floor, they rushed straight for the staircase to the roof, bowling through any Coldenski guards in the way. At the top, the Robo-Premier was waiting. He stood next to a large antenna, messing with a control panel. At the base of the antenna was the Space Whale artifact. LazyMcCrow scratched his chin.

“AHA HA HA HA! I VELCOME YOU AGAIN, CAPITALIST DOGS. IT SEEMS YOU HAVE BEEN ESCAPINK MY LITTLE TRAPS. BUT YOU VILL NEVER BE TAKINK MY ARTIFACT. YOU VILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!”

Boltschev’s arms turned into gatling guns and began firing. The team all dove for cover. They tried to return fire, but the bullets just bounced off of his metal body.

“HA HA HA HA! YOU VILL HAVE TO BE DOINK BETTER THAN THAT!”

“Try this on for size, bolts-for-brains!”

Foreman Chaotix dived out of cover and fired a rocket launcher straight at the Robo-Premier. The slow robot had no time to move and took the blast head-on, knocking off his chest-plater. With the Robo-Premier stunned momentarily and his inner workings exposed, Visorslash ran up with his combat knife and slashed away.

“NO! YOU VILL NEVER STOP THE RI-RISE OF COLL-OLL-OLLECTIVISM. N-NOOOoooo….”

The Robo-Premier fell to the floor with a loud clank.

“Great job, Visorslash. Now we just need to get that artifac-HURK!”

Looking back at the Foreman, they realized he had been riddled with bullet holes in his lower torso. He must have been caught by Boltschev’s machine guns when he ran out of cover. BSmith looked worried.

“Chief! Hold still! You’re gonna be okay! We’ll get you out of here!”

“Don’t worry about me! Visorslash, get the artifact…”

[Chaotix]

Visorslash picked up the Space Whale Artifact... and then his face fell off.

Behind it was another face, but it was different. Flat, and brown, and with globs of red frosting for his eyes and his mouth. A sadistic grin stretched across his Gingerbread face.

“Why, hello everyone. I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Gumdrop! Mwehehehe!”

The three of them gasped. LazyMcCrow scratched his chin.

“No… that’s impossible! We caught the traitor… Elite Ferret… we caught him.”

At that moment, LazyMcCrow’s head burst open, revealing underneath another Gingerbread face with a giant, gaping maw. The Gingerbread Man’s mouth closed over BSmith’s head, tearing it straight off his shoulders with rows and rows of sharp teeth.

“I’m afraid you are mistaken, dear Foreman. You see, Buttons here was just using his Klondike bar to make it seem like Elite Ferret was the traitor. After all… he would have done anything for that Klondike bar, had he recognized its influence. And with all the space in this realistic human-masks, he fit it right under his chin…”

Chaotix looked on in horror through his gas mask as the two Gingerbread Men stared him down.

“Now, my dear Foreman. You shall be the first to see your world conquered by the Pastry Empire of Candy Land! This world belongs to us!”

“No! You can’t! The worlds must remain separate…”

“Buttons, be a dear and attach this quaint little Space Whale Artifact to your Klondike Bar. With their combined powers, all the disgusting humans of this world shall be directly under our control. Mwehehehe!”

Buttons did as he was told. A bubblegum-pink horizon spread across the world of Nuke Land…

VICTORY: GINGERBREAD MEN!

[Askthepizzaguy]

Nice. Well played. Was a lot of fun.

Congrats flawless winners and our esteemed host.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Links to quicktopics and such, post game come on come on.

Some people are sugar junkies and others just want to pick your braaaiinnnnnsssss