Dealing with retroactive jealousy

[Csargo]

Man, get over it.

Everyone has baggage, and everyone has been there. A petty, but sometimes effective way is to share a story of your own so she can share in the insecurity, and perhaps re-evaluate the brutal honesty approach to certain topics. Hell, I know there are things I don't want to know about my girlfriends' exes.

Good advice.

[drone]

My first thought: You need to do something even more depraved with your girlfriend. You can't take back what happened with her ex, but you can try to top it!





Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, and hardly the best person to be giving relationship advice.

[Strike For The South]

punch him in the head

Talking about the sex you used to have is a sign of disrespect.

Intolerable

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

My first thought: You need to do something even more depraved with your girlfriend. You can't take back what happened with her ex, but you can try to top it!

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, and hardly the best person to be giving relationship advice.

Sounds like good advice

punch him in the head

Talking about the sex you used to have is a sign of disrespect.

Intolerable

Sounds like good advice.

You're obsessing because it's challenged your masculinity.

Here's another thought - he's her ex, you're not. You're the better man.

[rajpoot]

The first thing she said to me after she saw him approaching us (right after, "Oh God it's XYZ") was, "Please be cool".

Thing is I'm not so certain about the 'challenged masculinity' angle. The very unreasonable reason that this is bothering me is that before this while I knew she had a past I never pictured her with anyone else. Now it's as if it's being rubbed in my face.
And while I knew I was relatively conservative, I never thought that it would ever be a problem for me, but now I find myself wishing that I was the only man she'd ever been with. I did not know this about myself before this incident and I would give a lot if I could simply change swap my point of view for more a reasonable and modern one. Because I know, that in this day and age wanting what I involuntarily seem to be wishing for is pretty much ridiculous.

[Fragony]

Guy was planting a flag of course, he was obviously out to mocking you. In situations like that I resort to total politeness, the joke is on him and he knows it

[a completely inoffensive name]

I think its odd that you claim your feelings are archaic and backwards.

Acknowledge that this is how you feel and you will feel it for as long as you care about her. Trying to convince yourself that the image of a loved one having sex with another person/group of people should not be a bother sounds dumb and impossible.

Eventually you will grow tired of thinking about it and it will be brushed aside by more relevant thoughts. Or it won't and will undermine your relationship. It all depends on how fast you accept your own feelings.