Parents attach caveats to paying for your studies. There is nothing abnormal about that, and I would not equate it with not being in control of your life.

My suggestion, as a compromise, is to go to a smaller school near your home and finish your associates and your basic ed requirements. smaller schools are often more laid back, less pretentious, you will have more working adults as students instead of being surrounded by 19 year olds who think the world is full of puppies and pixie dust, and sometimes the classes are even easier. I would also wager to say that, with the exception of ivy league type schools, where you get your bachelors degree from anymore doesn't matter a whole hell of a lot, as long as we are not talking about an online college, and even those are widely accepted.

You also get a 3k refundable tax credit for going full time, which is something you may be able to use against your parents. Basically, if you want to go it alone, you need to file your own taxes and stop being a dependent. Once you are certified no longer dependent, you wont have to use parental income to qualify for financial aid, which will help you get better grants, etc, and when you file your taxes you will get a fat refund. Check the rules on being emancipated from the parents, they were pretty strict a while back and it was almost impossible before the age of 24 unless you were military, married or had kids, even if you paid all your own bills that didn't seem to be enough (I tried and tried, and never got it even though my parents did not pay for anything and I filed my own taxes)

You could also just go to trade school. I recommend HVAC certification, and then moving to the Philippines or a pacific island where everyone uses wall units and chigos. Or, perhaps cosmetology school to learn to give massages and bikini waxes