Sometimes I ask myself, "where are you going?" and tonight is one of those nights

[Hooahguy]

I cant sleep, in fact I havent really slept in a while now, too much on my mind and I cant clear my head, even with alcohol.

I'm thinking about dropping out of college. I hate college. I mean yeah parts of it are fun like the parties and stuff like that and I love being away from my parents, but I hate going to classes. I am motivated by none of them, even after I purposefully picked classes this semester that I would enjoy, and even so, I cant run away from the subjects I hate forever. ROTC is the only thing I even sort of enjoy. I really should enlist, or maybe go to a technical college. I'm much more of a hands on kind of guy anyways, always loved tinkering with things. Im good friends with an HVAC technician, I wonder if he will help me out. I'm figuring, why waste my and my parents money on mediocre performance in college? Yeah a college degree is pretty much essential in this day and age but is graduating with a low B/high C average really that good when it comes to looking for a job? I try to raise my grade but I have no motivation whatsoever to study except when it has to do with ROTC stuff and Im sort of at my end here. I try to study but i cant seem to get the work done. My mind keeps wandering off, even when i remove all the distractions like the internet and friends. Besides, my dad told me that if I dont do at least decently well this semester he is pulling me out and bringing me home for college, and frankly Id rather be in control of my own life than have it dictated to me. I mean, Im 21 for cryin out loud.

I have applied for numerous internships in DC in the federal sector, waiting to hear back from them. Whether or not I get accepted to any of them I think will make or break my current course. If I get one, it must mean that Im doing something right, and if not, time for a change.

Whelp, just a short little rant here, just had to get it off my chest.