Regional Descriptions: Help the EBII Team

[Arjos]

"Peltastai" and "Hippeis" might mislead the reader into thinking the population at large had been Hellenised.

Considering how the first corp was taken from the Thracian tribes and for both there are EB units that will be recruitable in the province, I just don't see it. Changing it to javelineers (or the more accurate targeteers), would be the same, while actually leaving the terminology of Hellenistic warfare.

The grammar is muddled. Did the Odrysai flee and abandon the treasure? If so, who recovered it and later dispersed?

They were defeated and the Bithynoi (the name is there) captured the movable loot and left just as fast as they appeared.

Reading through your history section, I could identify roughly four phases in Bithynia's past: the early migratory and establishment period of Thracian tribes, the Hellenic and Persian period, the Hellenistic period, and the Roman and Pontic period. Every event in the history section fits into one of those categories. Summarise the trends - such as the growth of population, changes in demographics or culture - and focus on the net effects of each period. What changed in Bithynia as a result of foreign and internal interactions? And then include the most important kings and actions that characterised the period. If notable exceptions to the general flow occur, mention them, but only the genuinely remarkable ones.

I'm perfectly aware of them (that's pretty much what decides where I make a new paragraph), but it's easier for me to write it like that. Maybe I'll try GSC's 1000-1500 limit for my next one and see how that goes. If well I'll make basically synopsises of those already done. I've stated how every one of them needs just that, but I've decided to leave it to far better writers with more skills and knowledge than me...

In regards to Persis, the sources I used claimed Parsapura was Old Persian. Considering the similarities between Sanksrit and OP, it's possible the word is the same in both languages.

Persian inscriptions call it Pârsa. Circular reasoning and a transliteration of the Greek name are pointless...

Another part of the issue is my fascination with early Iran, especially Elamite civilisation.

That much was clear, but how relevant is it to our period?
Afaik Elamite institutions influenced the very early Achaemenid state, which had to pick up more of Median customs quickly as an empire.
But for a description about Persis the connection is minimal at best...

I thought everything leading up to and influencing the province at the beginning of the game was the most important since everything afterwards might change.

The point is, by your own text, everything changed already with the arrival of Iranian nomads...

Anyway all of this isn't going anywhere, EBII's redaction will pick what is needed...