I need advice on how to move on.

[Spoonska]

Heya, new guy here, but I'd like to pass on what I've learned through books, therapy, relationship courses, and psychology classes and hope it helps. Some of it depends on how close you guys were, but it sounds like a pretty rough breakup.Mostly it's general advice for breakups.

I'm going to assume you're in your early to mid twenties, and your girl is just looking to explore life. It happens. You can't get mad at that. In fact, if your response to her had been " Okay, I understand" and you had not said much else you would have probably flipped her shit. The simple fact is; when you're young you're still trying to figure it all out. It's kind of like college... How many times did you change your major before you settled on just one? That's why it's usually not that great of an idea to get married young. Who you are as a 21 year old , 25 year old and 29 year old mentally is going to be 3 different people. Same for your girl. You just have to let her go, appreciate the experiences and time you had together, sob a little bit, and move on.

The best thing you can do when you wake up today, tomorrow and the next day is ask yourself " What does A completely inoffensive name (lol) want to do today", and focus on that.

Just some helpful tips : Remember to eat! Sleep can be your enemy. Your regularly scheduled hours are fine of course, but if you're just sleeping all the time to avoid feelings of depression you're going to become more depressed. Surround yourself with friends. Don't have friends? Join a club. Join a gym. Exercise is an awesome way to improve your overall well being. It's not so much about avoiding dealing with your feelings. You need to deal with your feelings in a healthy way. It's about avoiding sulking, avoiding addictions and depression. Oh, and one of the most important things be sure to vent and vent a lot. It might seem really dumb, but buy yourself a journal jot down your thoughts. Get that shit of your head and into the open. Also it helps to vent to close friends and family, a therapist or your pastor if you're spiritual.

It's going to be different for everyone, but take about 3 months just to yourself before you get into another serious committed relationship or else you really won't give the next person a shot. No one likes to sit around at a dinner table and be compared. I used to know this one therapist that would tell his divorce clients "If you buy a plant, and it's alive after a year you're ready for dating" I forget what kinda plant he said to buy. Obviously a really different situation, but you get the idea. You don't have to buy a plant, but the point is that you have something you care for.

You're going to be fine in the end just remember that this has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you. Because you're fine. In fact you're probably pretty awesome.

In all seriousness though. If you just get out of the house -- start living. You'll be right as rain.

[Major Robert Dump]

Right now the cheapest airfare from LAX to the Philippines is in late June and early July.

I suggest you go.

[Strike For The South]

I'm going to say what I said earlier. Her trepidation in no way defines your worth.

Young relationships are tough, espacilly these ones that are strained by distance.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Holy hell the gym killed me today. First time I actually lifted weights in....5 years. I almost begged my partner to switch to the treadmill earlier so I wouldn't have to face the fact my arms are not what they used to be.