I need advice on how to move on.

[a completely inoffensive name]

I'm getting anxious just from knowing that in about 48 hours I will no longer be able to talk to my best friend since middle school. I hope that when I eventually am able to move past this (and no sooner) she will be willing to accept me as a friend again. We've had this song and dance before actually in high school. Obviously, the relationship didn't last long when we had broken up for the first time, but we managed to stay friends and reunite later despite a more...hostile breakup tone back then.

[TinCow]

We've had this song and dance before actually in high school.

...and there's the root of your problem. This is the classic childhood love interest. Those things almost never work out. You fell in love with her when neither of you even knew who you were. Now you're adults and you're different people than you were when you met, but your emotions haven't realized that yet. Welcome to adult relationships, now you get to date someone who didn't know you during your immensely awkward teenage years. That's a good thing.

[Xiahou]

We've had this song and dance before actually in high school.

Maybe it's just me, but I think you have the right to be a little angry here. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to rage out and do anything stupid- but it does sound like she was using you a little and I agree that cutting contact is the best course of action.

The way I see it is that she wants to be free to have flings with other guys as she sees fit, but still wants to keep you on the back burner as a "friend" when she wants the emotional support that she won't get from her dalliances. That's a very one-sided relationship. She's getting everything she wants and you're being torn apart emotionally by it.

Maybe she isn't even consciously doing it, but I think you're being used. Cut off contact. Otherwise you'll see the same "song and dance" over and over again.

Edit: Also, to echo what others have said- find other things to occupy your time and energy.

[Peasant Phill]

@a completely inoffensive name

Some simple advice from someone who had a 12 year long relationship ended and never saw it coming as well:
Throw yourself on other things to do. Call friends and go out as much as you can. Start a new hobby, something you were always interested in but never started with. Meet new people any way you can, ...
Just keep busy and don't dwell on what was. This is your opportunity to have a better life.

[The Lurker Below]

If you love someone set them free,
if they don't come back shoot them.

Alright you're on the right track with the whole cutting off all ties idea, but relax, enjoy some life first, and then pull the trigger. Freedom for just a few days ain't really freedom at all. Go enjoy some life your own self, and play friends. If you've really been friends for so long, playing the part for a few weeks shouldn't kill you.

And that brit that gave you the advice re: StarCraft was absolutely right. Making friends online is too damn easy. Anything that comes easy has no real long term reward. Step up your game and go socialize with real life hooters. Use your body now while it's full of energy. There will be plenty of time for easy chairs and games after your kids have worn you down.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm getting anxious just from knowing that in about 48 hours I will no longer be able to talk to my best friend since middle school. I hope that when I eventually am able to move past this (and no sooner) she will be willing to accept me as a friend again. We've had this song and dance before actually in high school. Obviously, the relationship didn't last long when we had broken up for the first time, but we managed to stay friends and reunite later despite a more...hostile breakup tone back then.

Realistically, you can't be friends with your ex - not if the relationship was serious. As cut up as you are it seems like there probably isn't anything you can salvage without leaving yourself hung up for years.

I'm older that you, take me as an object lesson from experience. Make a clean break, and make it clear to her that you can't be friends because it's not healthy for either of you. Otherwise, you'll be starting a thread in the tavern in a few years telling us about how she just posted her engagement photos on facebook.

[a completely inoffensive name]

The letter is written. Eight pages. I should be asleep so I can wake up in 3.5 hours cuz I need to get my car to the house by 10am. But I can't really sleep. I guess I will just loaf around and pack my things for the Saturday stay with my parents. And then this can all be over.

[TinCow]

The letter is written. Eight pages.

Hopefully that was cathartic, but the best thing to do with that is throw it away. It is never a good idea to give an eight page letter about your feelings to an ex.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hopefully that was cathartic, but the best thing to do with that is throw it away. It is never a good idea to give an eight page letter about your feelings to an ex.

This is where I am going to have to ignore your advice at the risk of hurting myself more. I am not going to disappear from all her friends lists and not even give her the courtesy to tell her why. I am not begging for her to come back nor am I trashing her in anger. It's just one last letter to end the tradition of letters we have had since we first started going out. The reason it's eight pages is because I had important stuff to say that I need her to think about before I end all communication. Stuff that is related to her own flaws which she has recognized since we started going out but never took the effort to fix. Stuff that she would only believe if it came from me. Most importantly it doesn't matter in the long run. I'm not going to see or talk to her for a long time but I want the last instance of communication to be better than me practically begging on Monday to take me back. I want to leave a stronger image than that. This is in all likeliness a dumb mistake, but if I am going to make one, I would rather it be about this than something with more severe consequences.

Sorry Tincow. I promise to follow the rest of the advice to the T.

[Fragony]

What 'severe consequences' would that be then, you are kinda worrying me

[a completely inoffensive name]

What 'severe consequences' would that be then, you are kinda worrying me

I'm just saying I would rather give a letter to my ex then idk snort some random prescription drugs at a party like one friend I knew.Haha oh damn, great timing by my car to have the battery die. Gotta call AAA now. Can't even get the letter to the house before she see's that I unfriended her. Huh, life is weird sometimes. I'm not even mad though.

[Strike For The South]

This is where I am going to have to ignore your advice at the risk of hurting myself more. I am not going to disappear from all her friends lists and not even give her the courtesy to tell her why. I am not begging for her to come back nor am I trashing her in anger. It's just one last letter to end the tradition of letters we have had since we first started going out. The reason it's eight pages is because I had important stuff to say that I need her to think about before I end all communication. Stuff that is related to her own flaws which she has recognized since we started going out but never took the effort to fix. Stuff that she would only believe if it came from me. Most importantly it doesn't matter in the long run. I'm not going to see or talk to her for a long time but I want the last instance of communication to be better than me practically begging on Monday to take me back. I want to leave a stronger image than that. This is in all likeliness a dumb mistake, but if I am going to make one, I would rather it be about this than something with more severe consequences.

Sorry Tincow. I promise to follow the rest of the advice to the T.

I thought we were close to acceptance, instead we went back to bargaining. No doubt the woman has flaws. No doubt she referenced these flaws as the reason you two broke up. However, the flaws have nothing to do with why you two really broke up. I would put my money on distance and the curiosity that seems to infect young people. Once again, I feel the need to stress the point that in no way is this reflective of your worth nor is there much could you have done much to stop it.

An 8 page treatise on her flaws will illicit scorn, pity, or some combination of the two. She has made her decision and remember, a decision is always strongest when you first make it. I realize that you are probably giving her the letter as I type this. Good luck brother