I need advice on how to move on.

[Major Robert Dump]

In 5 years she will be fat and stupid

[Strike For The South]

In 5 years she will be fat and stupid

But what if that's how daddy likes them?

[Husar]

But what if that's how daddy likes them?

I would tell daddy that I don't share and he already has mommy.

[a completely inoffensive name]

I'm getting anxious just from knowing that in about 48 hours I will no longer be able to talk to my best friend since middle school. I hope that when I eventually am able to move past this (and no sooner) she will be willing to accept me as a friend again. We've had this song and dance before actually in high school. Obviously, the relationship didn't last long when we had broken up for the first time, but we managed to stay friends and reunite later despite a more...hostile breakup tone back then.

[Andres]

I am getting ready to do the nuclear option and cut off all communication from her. It's going to blindside her for sure. We have been such great friends for so long. But I have gone from literally melting down in agony for 6 hours at a time, not sleeping/eating at all for the next day, to being more social in my life and dealing with strong but temporary anxiety attacks at night. However, I every time I even see a tweet or see a post on facebook, it just stirs the pot. And I get into a tailspin quickly. She expects to meet up on Sunday to watch the film she has been working on for so long with the rest of her classmates and friends. But I am planning on spending my saturday with family and I am going to drop off a letter at her house on my way up explaining why I need to cut myself off from her, at least for the near future. I will say a few other things on my mind which I feel are important and then when I get home I am pulling the trigger.

It's the best thing you can do. "Staying friends" will cause you too much pain. Since the whole idea is to cut off all contact to allow yourself to get over her, you should explicitly ask her in your letter not to reply to it.

Or simply don't bother writing a letter at all, if that's an option for you

[TinCow]

We've had this song and dance before actually in high school.

...and there's the root of your problem. This is the classic childhood love interest. Those things almost never work out. You fell in love with her when neither of you even knew who you were. Now you're adults and you're different people than you were when you met, but your emotions haven't realized that yet. Welcome to adult relationships, now you get to date someone who didn't know you during your immensely awkward teenage years. That's a good thing.

[Xiahou]

We've had this song and dance before actually in high school.

Maybe it's just me, but I think you have the right to be a little angry here. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to rage out and do anything stupid- but it does sound like she was using you a little and I agree that cutting contact is the best course of action.

The way I see it is that she wants to be free to have flings with other guys as she sees fit, but still wants to keep you on the back burner as a "friend" when she wants the emotional support that she won't get from her dalliances. That's a very one-sided relationship. She's getting everything she wants and you're being torn apart emotionally by it.

Maybe she isn't even consciously doing it, but I think you're being used. Cut off contact. Otherwise you'll see the same "song and dance" over and over again.

Edit: Also, to echo what others have said- find other things to occupy your time and energy.

[Peasant Phill]

@a completely inoffensive name

Some simple advice from someone who had a 12 year long relationship ended and never saw it coming as well:
Throw yourself on other things to do. Call friends and go out as much as you can. Start a new hobby, something you were always interested in but never started with. Meet new people any way you can, ...
Just keep busy and don't dwell on what was. This is your opportunity to have a better life.

[The Lurker Below]

If you love someone set them free,
if they don't come back shoot them.

Alright you're on the right track with the whole cutting off all ties idea, but relax, enjoy some life first, and then pull the trigger. Freedom for just a few days ain't really freedom at all. Go enjoy some life your own self, and play friends. If you've really been friends for so long, playing the part for a few weeks shouldn't kill you.

And that brit that gave you the advice re: StarCraft was absolutely right. Making friends online is too damn easy. Anything that comes easy has no real long term reward. Step up your game and go socialize with real life hooters. Use your body now while it's full of energy. There will be plenty of time for easy chairs and games after your kids have worn you down.

[InsaneApache]

Time my friend, time.

How long is up to you.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

I'm getting anxious just from knowing that in about 48 hours I will no longer be able to talk to my best friend since middle school. I hope that when I eventually am able to move past this (and no sooner) she will be willing to accept me as a friend again. We've had this song and dance before actually in high school. Obviously, the relationship didn't last long when we had broken up for the first time, but we managed to stay friends and reunite later despite a more...hostile breakup tone back then.

Realistically, you can't be friends with your ex - not if the relationship was serious. As cut up as you are it seems like there probably isn't anything you can salvage without leaving yourself hung up for years.

I'm older that you, take me as an object lesson from experience. Make a clean break, and make it clear to her that you can't be friends because it's not healthy for either of you. Otherwise, you'll be starting a thread in the tavern in a few years telling us about how she just posted her engagement photos on facebook.

[a completely inoffensive name]

The letter is written. Eight pages. I should be asleep so I can wake up in 3.5 hours cuz I need to get my car to the house by 10am. But I can't really sleep. I guess I will just loaf around and pack my things for the Saturday stay with my parents. And then this can all be over.

[TinCow]

The letter is written. Eight pages.

Hopefully that was cathartic, but the best thing to do with that is throw it away. It is never a good idea to give an eight page letter about your feelings to an ex.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Hopefully that was cathartic, but the best thing to do with that is throw it away. It is never a good idea to give an eight page letter about your feelings to an ex.

This is where I am going to have to ignore your advice at the risk of hurting myself more. I am not going to disappear from all her friends lists and not even give her the courtesy to tell her why. I am not begging for her to come back nor am I trashing her in anger. It's just one last letter to end the tradition of letters we have had since we first started going out. The reason it's eight pages is because I had important stuff to say that I need her to think about before I end all communication. Stuff that is related to her own flaws which she has recognized since we started going out but never took the effort to fix. Stuff that she would only believe if it came from me. Most importantly it doesn't matter in the long run. I'm not going to see or talk to her for a long time but I want the last instance of communication to be better than me practically begging on Monday to take me back. I want to leave a stronger image than that. This is in all likeliness a dumb mistake, but if I am going to make one, I would rather it be about this than something with more severe consequences.

Sorry Tincow. I promise to follow the rest of the advice to the T.

[Fragony]

What 'severe consequences' would that be then, you are kinda worrying me

[a completely inoffensive name]

What 'severe consequences' would that be then, you are kinda worrying me

I'm just saying I would rather give a letter to my ex then idk snort some random prescription drugs at a party like one friend I knew.Haha oh damn, great timing by my car to have the battery die. Gotta call AAA now. Can't even get the letter to the house before she see's that I unfriended her. Huh, life is weird sometimes. I'm not even mad though.

[Strike For The South]

This is where I am going to have to ignore your advice at the risk of hurting myself more. I am not going to disappear from all her friends lists and not even give her the courtesy to tell her why. I am not begging for her to come back nor am I trashing her in anger. It's just one last letter to end the tradition of letters we have had since we first started going out. The reason it's eight pages is because I had important stuff to say that I need her to think about before I end all communication. Stuff that is related to her own flaws which she has recognized since we started going out but never took the effort to fix. Stuff that she would only believe if it came from me. Most importantly it doesn't matter in the long run. I'm not going to see or talk to her for a long time but I want the last instance of communication to be better than me practically begging on Monday to take me back. I want to leave a stronger image than that. This is in all likeliness a dumb mistake, but if I am going to make one, I would rather it be about this than something with more severe consequences.

Sorry Tincow. I promise to follow the rest of the advice to the T.

I thought we were close to acceptance, instead we went back to bargaining. No doubt the woman has flaws. No doubt she referenced these flaws as the reason you two broke up. However, the flaws have nothing to do with why you two really broke up. I would put my money on distance and the curiosity that seems to infect young people. Once again, I feel the need to stress the point that in no way is this reflective of your worth nor is there much could you have done much to stop it.

An 8 page treatise on her flaws will illicit scorn, pity, or some combination of the two. She has made her decision and remember, a decision is always strongest when you first make it. I realize that you are probably giving her the letter as I type this. Good luck brother

[Fragony]

I'm just saying I would rather give a letter to my ex then idk snort some random prescription drugs at a party like one friend I knew.Haha oh damn, great timing by my car to have the battery die. Gotta call AAA now. Can't even get the letter to the house before she see's that I unfriended her. Huh, life is weird sometimes. I'm not even mad though.

I took the liberty of showing your posts to a friend of mine who is a professional psychologist, she's worried by your posts as well, as she calls it's 'burning up too fast'

[a completely inoffensive name]

Took me a while to drive to her house. Her car is not even here. She is probably with some other guy as I speak. I'm not dropping off the letter. I am going home to my parents and crying.

[Strike For The South]

1st: :(

2nd: This couldn't be a more clear message, you know what direction you need to go and how futile it would be to look back.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Well, I cried a lot with my family. They were very supportive, I felt a lot saner. She asked me where the letter was because she reads my twitter. I gave her a short message. Told her I hope everything goes well for her, I feel like I need some space in order for me to get past this. I would like to be friends but the choices you made has changed everything and this is also a time for me to find myself without feeling tied down. I hope you understand, I will talk to you later.

Her response was "I see. I understand. I hope you find what you are looking for."

And now it is over. And I want for the first time nothing to do with her.

EDIT: Jesus, I have been really messed up this past week. I'm just gonna let time do its thing now.

[Fragony]

Alas it's over, but you can still be buddies. It's nonsense that you can't be friends with an ex-girlfriend, or women in general. I haven't slept with most of my female friends but flirting a bit is just a whole lot of fun, you just need to know when you go too far. It would be a shame if you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anymore imho

[a completely inoffensive name]

Alas it's over, but you can still be buddies. It's nonsense that you can't be friends with an ex-girlfriend, or women in general. I haven't slept with most of my female friends but flirting a bit is just a whole lot of fun, you just need to know when you go too far. It would be a shame if you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anymore imho

I phrased my response a bit wrong here. I left friendship open down the line when I felt like I had moved beyond her on an emotional level.

[The Lurker Below]

I phrased my response a bit wrong here. I left friendship open down the line when I felt like I had moved beyond her on an emotional level.

kick ass! - my crystal ball foresees makeup sex, followed by emotions flooding back in less than a second, followed by a cruel twisting knife in the back, followed by friends driving you to a bridge while Nazareths "Love Hurts" and similar songs are played. They'll also offer a length of rope or a bullet. At this point you'll realize that wench is preferable to your drunken friends, and become a beat down husband like many of us. Dammit man, you give me the chance to review 10 years of my youth in less than a paragraph.

[a completely inoffensive name]

kick ass! - my crystal ball foresees makeup sex, followed by emotions flooding back in less than a second, followed by a cruel twisting knife in the back, followed by friends driving you to a bridge while Nazareths "Love Hurts" and similar songs are played. They'll also offer a length of rope or a bullet. At this point you'll realize that wench is preferable to your drunken friends, and become a beat down husband like many of us. Dammit man, you give me the chance to review 10 years of my youth in less than a paragraph.

**** that. When I move on, I move on. Also I hope that wasn't your youth.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Alas it's over, but you can still be buddies. It's nonsense that you can't be friends with an ex-girlfriend, or women in general. I haven't slept with most of my female friends but flirting a bit is just a whole lot of fun, you just need to know when you go too far. It would be a shame if you wouldn't want to have anything to do with her anymore imho

Rubbish - if she ripped your heart in half you don't want to see her for a decade at least.

If I had to guess, I'd say ACIN expected to marry this girl one day, the way you get over that kind of break up if by amputating that relationship and going and finding a new one.

[a completely inoffensive name]

If I had to guess, I'd say ACIN expected to marry this girl one day,

Yep, yep, yep. Sorry to everyone for acting the way I have over the past week but at least PVC understands what was up.

[Visor]

Yep, yep, yep. Sorry to everyone for acting the way I have over the past week but at least PVC understands what was up.

Too young to be thinking about marriage mate.

[a completely inoffensive name]

Too young to be thinking about marriage mate.

I know that now. Even though I finally cut it off, part of me still wants to go to a thing she is hosting for her friends tonight. I'm just gonna drown myself in work and try to forget about it.

EDIT; Want to clarify. I was not planning on marrying her for a loooong time. Like maybe 5-6 years from now. But I thought if we remained together past college it would happen. All a moot point anyway. A lot of my friends have been extremely supportive this past weekend and I think tonight I can actually sleep well.

[Husar]

Don't worry, a friend of a friend of my aunt's grandfather's dog's pillow once told me he does even worse in these things.