Today, I was rather violently accosted by a rather intriguing gentleman

[Hax]

I would like to inform you of a certain situation that has transpired today on the premises of my university here in the Netherlands: I was accosted quite agressively, nearly to the point of violently, by a certain gentleman who is currently also enrolled at our university.

Dear ORG, please forgive the rather prosaic style which was the result of an evening shared with a bottle of Glenfiddich. However, when I was writing this particular piece of information I was reminded of the "when is violence justified thread", and so I decided to crosspost this here.

Basically, there are certain things I'm wondering about, and seeing how I hold almost all of you in high esteem, I assumed that you would be able to assist me:

1) Is it surprising that this happened at a university? Should I be surprised? Is it simply another aspect of growing up?
2) When does a person decide that a violent approach makes sense? How does this actually work?
3) What should I do? I have already collected information about whom I can contact within the framework of the university? Would taking legal action make any sense?

I'm seriously never in these kinds of situations, so what do I actually do? Gah?!

EDIT: Dear Lord, it seems that my stuff got copied incorrectly. Let me try some stuff.

EDIT II: Can't seem to get it right. Will link to my blog.

EDIT III: It is now a link.

[johnhughthom]

I do wonder if the intriguing gentleman thought you were mocking him? Perhaps what you thought to be a reasoned argument came across as you making fun of him, certainly the way you describe the situation makes me think that is a possibility. If someone takes something as personally as he appeared, often there is little that you can say that will make him see your side of the debate.

In no way am I saying that you behaved badly, but sometimes the only way to handle a situation is to tell someone to go away unpleasantly.

[Hax]

I'd suppose so, but I didn't use the exact same style of speech as I did when writing it down. Did I mention I asked him to actually sit down and talk about it.

Additionally, would mockery warrant a violent response?

[johnhughthom]

I'd suppose so, but I didn't use the exact same style of speech as I did when writing it down. Did I mention I asked him to actually sit down and talk about it.

That's the thing that grabs me, you seem to think a university is apart from the rest of the world. To me, as much as educating a university should prepare someone for the outside world, and the fact is, there are people out there who don't want to sit down and talk about it, their opinion is correct, and nothing you say will dissuade them. By continuing to treat the situation like a classroom debate, you probably angered the intriguing gentleman more.

Additionally, would mockery warrant a violent response?

Of course it shouldn't, but it did. And you probably should have seen it coming.

As for how I would handle it from here? Forget about it, move on and learn from it. There is a time for debate, a time to shut up and a time to take it outside.

[HopAlongBunny]

I think you handled yourself well.

Sometimes you will meet individuals who simply want the violence. Obliging them might turn out well, but it sounds more like this person was going for a "double win".

You take the bait=>beat the snot out of him=>he goes to administration and pulls a "poor me" routine=>you get flayed. Or he beats the snot out of you, and you get no backing from admin; I would hazard to bet he's done it before...

So Hurray! You did not take the bait :) Often the best move when drinking.

[Vladimir]

Dirty Arabs?

Seriously though, some people are conditioned to think that some actions of offenses demand a violent reaction. You can't change that but you can look for indicators and deal with them.

[Fisherking]

It sounds to me that you have already lost the contest.

Obviously you were politically incorrect, or seen so by the person you reported the incident to.

To them, you were insensitive, and likely a bigot, simply because the guy says he was offended.

It will be interesting to see if you can find anyone in the administration who thinks you were within you rights and the individual was being a jerk. Good Luck.

[Tellos Athenaios]

In no way am I saying that you behaved badly, but sometimes the only way to handle a situation is to tell someone to go away unpleasantly.

Exactly. Reading between the lines, our intriguing gentleman was the equivalent of a Youtube Commentard. Utterly limited in perspective and convinced the world is full of ignorant people who ought to shut up or made to; they can see clearly how they are right and you are wrong, but when pressed for clarification have nothing to offer beyond your supposed ignorance. You may have some entertaining results in trying to argue with them, but it is not good sport. Additionally it will almost certainly ruin your meal in the process and it is not good manners towards your friends and fellow diners.

I base this diagnosis on the following symptoms:

• Loudly intervenes in your discussion. Won't offer you an "excuse me", or any other indication of good manners.
• Proceeds to inform you that you are wrong, misguided, stupid and ignorant.
• Offers no argument to back up the previous assertion.
• Is all offended.

In such a condition they are incapable of understanding the subtleties of Arab identity, the Qu'ran or anything more subtle than "get lost" which I base on the fact they have shown themselves utterly incapable of grasping the subtlety of common courtesy. If some 16 odd years of parenting failed to teach them to recognise and apply that basic skill in life, subtlety is not going to win you any debates with them in the near term.

[Fragony]

Nice lesson to our Hax regardless heh, you know what they say, never be rude to an Arab. Monty Payton warned you. NEVER say that being Arab means nothing in the pressence of Arabs you couldn't have been more offensive, which I kinda like really

[Fragony]

All those spots hurt your hand. If your victim doesn't see it coming, go for the throat. It's the comfy punch.

Kinda dangerous, they don't ought to drop permanently. Best way to avoid trouble, a slap with your palm moving upwards.

http://www.google.nl/search?hl=nl&si...Tp1VeWf8stM%3A

Where it says musscle is the sweet-spot, it will hit like a brick. He will absolutely fall and think you are Hercules incarnated. Try it, palm of hand right there, slightly upwards. Needs some practise.

[Husar]

What if the other guy runs to the authorities with a bunch of witnesses then and Hax gets punished or even expelled?
Worth it?

[Fragony]

What if the other guy runs to the authorities with a bunch of witnesses then and Hax gets punished or even expelled?
Worth it?

Hax being punished worth it? Always ;)

[Fisherking]

Hax did just fine. There was no reason to escalate the tense state. That happens after the other guy throws a punch, or a couple of punches. Once you meet force with force both of you are likely to be in trouble, in this day and age.

Punching someone in the throat is a quick way to jail.

[Fragony]

Punching someone in the throat is a quick way to jail.

Rightly so, you can kill someone with that if their windpipe gets broken

[HoreTore]

So, Hax, at which point in time did you transform into an 18th century British gent, and when were you planning to tell us about this?