And suddenly, it all went so fast

[Andres]

So fast.

It was rainy day in May. And allthough it was blowing hard, there were no answers to be found in the wind.

In a large dark room, there was a bunch of men and maybe even some women, sitting together, trying to be poetic and funny, drinking and smoking too much. Loud music was playing and many danced and appeared to be cheerful, but somehow, nobody could shake this feeling of desperation and imminent doom.

This place was supposed to be save. Outside were the cannibals, scavenging the wastelands for meat. Horrible things were happening outside. Outside, where there was no hope. No future. Nothing but cruelty and dead.

But here, in this all too seldom safe haven, there were food and drinks, electricity and heating, music and even cigarettes. Enough for at least a week or two.

The people in the dark room were trying hard to stay in the illusion that everything was ok. That everything would be ok. That it would always be ok from now on.

But it wasn't ok. Not by a mile.

Not here, in this room where, all of the sudden, in less than a fraction of a second, terrible and unspeakable things could happen.

***

Welcome to my latest large mafia game "And suddenly, it all went so fast!" where the good, noble and holy desperates need to find out who their enemies are!

Boring basic stuff:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Each day or night phase will last approximately 24 hours. This may be extended or shortened due to real life circumstances of the host (that's me).

The townies have to decide during the day by voting who will get lynched. The person with the most votes, will be lynched.

Votes have to be made like this:

Vote : Andres

When you want to switch your vote, you have to do it like this:

Unvote : Andres ; Vote : Secura

Please remember to BOLD YOUR VOTES! UNBOLDED VOTES WILL NOT BE COUNTED! No exceptions will be made. Also, REMEMBER TO UNVOTE BEFORE SWITCHING YOUR VOTE; if you forget to unvote, your vote switch will be ignored. DO NOT EDIT YOUR POST TO ALTER YOUR VOTE. IF YOU ALTER YOUR VOTE, YOU NEED TO MAKE A NEW POST.

Notes:

* You're allowed to vote "abstain"; voting "no lynch" will be counted as an abstain vote.
* When a tie is reached at the end of the day, the game host will randomly (as in "completely at random") lynch one of the players in the tie. In short: there will always be a lynch at the end of the day phase.
* regardless of your role, you are supposed to be active in the thread. Severe inactivity (no strict rule, but you can take not posting for 6 RL days in a row as a basic rule) will be dealt with by WoG ("Wrath of God") which basically means that you'll be killed by the host in a most humiliating way.
* If you can no longer play for whatever reason, please inform the host and he'll try to find a replacement. If no replacement can be found, you will be written out of play (honorable suicide).
* Roles of the dead will not be revealed.
* The dead players can keep playing, but they will no longer have a vote nor any night abilities.

Fun stuff:

- since my wife and I leave on June the 8th for a holiday, it is possible that in a normal set-up, this game would be in its' interesting end-phase just when I have to leave for an entire week. Therefore, there will be some twists to advance the game a bit if necessary.
- the game WILL end on June 7th at the latest.
- possible twists to reach that goal are:
* extra kills for the mafia, followed by a day phase with the lynching of the top three of lynch candidates;
* the sudden emergence of an evil serial killer. Or two. Or three. Or everybody turns SK and the game ends in a spectacular blood bath.
* the mafia sees the error of its' ways and stops being evil. There will be flowers, flowers and lots of flowers. And hippies.
* the host goes mad and destroys players at random to satisfy his bloodlust
* natural disasters
* players get to choose between the plague or cholera
* something completely different.

***

Signed up (31/30):

LazyMcCrow
BSmith
Ferret
Askthepizzaguy
Makrell
Darth Feather
jht
B-Wing
Jarema
GeneralHankerchief
El Barto
autolycus
Csargo
Zack
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Rickinator9
Choxorn
Ishmael
HopAlongBunny
issaikhaan
Abstain
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
Jolt
TinCow
edse
Kumquat
Tiaexz
Ibn-Khaldun
Ironside
Montmorency

[LazyMcCrow]

And now for something completely different :)

[BSmith]

I'm in.

[Ferret]

And suddenly, I was in.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Ah, another Andres game. I think I've failed every one of these spectacularly.

But they're so awesome, that I must!

I will be keepin the streak alive!

[Makrell]

in for the boringng post

also role

[johnhughthom]

And suddenly, I was in.

Did you change your name due to being mistaken for Warman? If so, I doubt there's ever been a better reason for a name change at the org.

In

[Ferret]

Did you change your name due to being mistaken for Warman? If so, I doubt there's ever been a better reason for a name change at the org.

Haha no, I've been meaning to change it for ages. Couldn't really do it earlier because the behaviour of certain individuals led a game host to ban name changes.

[Andres]

And Suddenly, it all happened so fast - Day 0

The Grmph's were staring outside the window, staring at the desolate landscape.

They didn't talk.

Memories were haunting them. Memories of things that should not be spoken off. That wasn't why they kept silent, but in the end, maybe their silence was for the best.

There was nothing outside. Nothing, except death, pain and loneliness. Perhaps the loneliness was the worst part. Good company made every burden easier to carry.

Not that there was "good company" inside this room. Sure, these were all good people and before the disaster, they would have been good company. But in this world, in the end, it was each for his own.

There were no bounds. No friendship. No love.

But there were cigarettes, booze and food. The Grmph's turned away from the room and became part of the illusion.

***

And kick-off!

The game will start with a night phase. As a courtesy to the players who were so eager to join, the mafia will, exceptionnaly, only get 1 kill on their first night. The player who gets killed, will become "The voice of the skully" and will get a say in how the executions are to be performed.

***

Alive (31/31):

LazyMcCrow
BSmith
Ferret
Askthepizzaguy
Makrell
Darth Feather
jht
B-Wing
Jarema
GeneralHankerchief
El Barto
autolycus
Csargo
Zack
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Rickinator9
Choxorn
Ishmael
HopAlongBunny
issaikhaan
Abstain
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
Jolt
TinCow
edse
Kumquat
Tiaexz
Ibn-Khaldun
Ironside
Montmorency

Killed.

Lynched.

WoG/Suicide

Replaced.

***

1) Night will last for +/- 22hours 30 minutes.
2) No more name changes from now on Anyone changing his name after now, will be WoG'ed in the most cruel way.

[HopAlongBunny]

Time to get this baby underway!

Vote: Lynch!

[johnhughthom]

Vote: B(ig)-Wang

[Zack]

I like it when people vote during the Night phase, because it gives me the opportunity to make a witty, condescending remark. Such as the following:

Hey, it's night! ... (punchline)*

*NSFW

EDIT: Yes, I know it's not very witty, that's the joke.

[B-Wing]

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grmph.

The player who gets killed, will become "The voice of the skully" and will get a say in how the executions are to be performed.

You mean they get to be Gillian Anderson?! These may be the sexiest executions ever seen in Mafia.

BTW jht, thanks for revealing my stage name to everyone.

[Chaotix]

Grmph.

[Ishmael]

Mafia, don't kill me N1. If you do so all executions will be by firing squad, and that would make for very boring write-ups.

(N2 is fine)

[seireikhaan]

Mroh!

[Askthepizzaguy]

Don't kill me N1 because I make for such tantalizing lynch bait. You know my mere existence is a sure-fire wrong lynch sometime.

[Darth Feather]

Mafia, don't kill me N1. If you do so all executions will be by firing squad, and that would make for very boring write-ups.

(N2 is fine)

Personnaly, in this game, I would rather be killed N1 than N2. It gives you something to do

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

That is not a challenge, mafia.

[Andres]

And Suddenly, it all happened so fast - Night 1 Conclusion

Abstain relaxed in his rocking chair
enjoying his most recent cigar.
He looked at his glass, thinking an heir,
Wond'ring whether to visit the bar.

But his line of thought was soon cut short,
As he was approached by a fellow
Who offered him a look to consort
In a merry time where drink would flow.

"My good sir," the new gentleman spoke.
"You are unfamiliar; are you new?"
"Oh, in a way," he said as a joke.
"Good; fresh always works best for a stew."

"What? I beg your pardon?" Abstain asked.
His question hung as he felt the axe
In his neck, his agony unmasked
"You shall make us delectable snacks."

And as such, Abstain was hauled away
To become a group's sumptuous feast.
But for Abstain, death was a gateway
For his Voice was still not yet deceased.

***

Suddenly, a loud voice could be heard in the dark night.

"I see... I see... I CAN SEE IT NOW!"

"Shut up, idiot!"

"I SEE... I SEE...!"

"Too much mushrooms. Gah. Can nobody handle his mushrooms anymore these days?"

"TONGUES! TONGUES! THE TONGUES!!!! AAAAAAA.... Aa... Aa..., ..., oh, whisky, mjummie."

***

And suddenly, it all happend so fast - Day 1

The survivors looked at what remained of Abstain. It was... disgusting. The cannibals had eaten several parts of his body, but the most gruesome sight was his skull. It was... clean. Shaking their heads in disbelief, they watched as one of them picked up the skull and put it on a table. Another one picked up Abstains' beautiful sunglasses. It had "Visor/" written on it.

"We don't know each other. But we all suffered from the cannibals one way or another. We could flee, like we always do, but we could also try to catch the one who did this."

The survivors nodded in agreement with the speaker.

Suddenly, a green light started to glow around the skull.

"Put me on my sunglasses, please."

A few survivors started to yell, others fainted, the grmphs kept silent. One of the grmphs stepped forward, holding the sunglasses in his hands and put it on the skull.

"That's right. Good. Excellent. Unfortunately, I didn't see who did this to me, but one thing is for sure: it's one of you. Yes, my awesome skills already discovered that, saves you lot plenty of work, since the list of suspects is now narrowed down from everybody to just the 30 of you. Aren't I fantastic?"

Most survivors simply kept staring, not sure if this was real, a nightmare or too much funny substances.

"Stop staring, you look like cows; not that most of you have ever seen a cow, youngsters and all that. In my days, the even had cows of tin. Tincows they were called. Nice as a collectors' item for bored farmers, but utterly useless for the rest of us. Now, when I was a young lad, ages ago, allthough I still look good for my age, even now in these unpleasant circumstances, we used to play a game called mafia in which you had to find the bad guys through discussion and analysis. I was always town in those games and of course, we always won. In most cases, thanks to my pure genius and infallible skills."

The survivores listened to the skull and started to get a deep respect for its' clear wisdom and intelligence.

"Anyway, I suggest you treat this like a mafia game and you all vote for the one who looks most suspiscious. The one with the most votes at the end of the game will die. I will guide you through the proces with my wisdom. If you just do what I say, I'm sure we'll find the murderer in no time."

And so, they started the proceedings of this first day.

***

Alive (30/31):

LazyMcCrow
BSmith
Ferret
Askthepizzaguy
Makrell
Darth Feather
jht
B-Wing
Jarema
GeneralHankerchief
El Barto
autolycus
Csargo
Zack
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Rickinator9
Choxorn
Ishmael
HopAlongBunny
issaikhaan
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
Jolt
TinCow
edse
Kumquat
Tiaexz
Ibn-Khaldun
Ironside
Montmorency

Killed (1).
Abstain

Lynched.

WoG/Suicide

Replaced.

***

It is now day. You can start voting. Because of RL, day phase will last for +/- 33 hours from the timestamp of this post. The next night will then last +/- 36 hours after which I hope to be able to get back to the regular 24h shedule.

[Zack]

I have to say, the killer deserves a thumbs up for that one. Did us all a favor, avoiding a "Vote: Abstain" fiasco.

Vote: Askthepizzaguy

[Darth Feather]

In its great wisdom random.org told me Vote: Csargo is guilty of being innocent of not being the killer of poor abstain.

[Ferret]

Vote:Jarema/Yay!

He always votes for Visorslash on day 1, maybe he also always kills him on night 1.

[Riedquat]

In its great wisdom random.org told me Vote: Csargo is guilty of being innocent of not being the killer of poor abstain.

Said 6 to me, it's you Vote: Darth Feather

[El Barto]

Bueh! You gave me this name, I use it as a tribute to you and your game, and about the menu, well I think you already know there are a large variety of consumable cats around here... and you don't need to chew on them...

Rosario is a piss-take fo a city whose women do not compare to ours, and whose football teams are either a crap or a gang who thinks the crap is their derby. Pfffft.

I find this thread lacking a discussion on what Grmph stands for, and more importantly:

Can we eat it?

Are we likely to be eaten by a Grmph?

I have to say, the killer deserves a thumbs up for that one. Did us all a favor, avoiding a "Vote: Abstain" fiasco.

Vote: Askthepizzaguy

Why are you congratulating yourself? Weren't you hugged enough as a child? vote: Kumquat

[Chaotix]

Grmph.

[Choxorn]

Vote: Ironside

I saw him eating a taco.

[Ironside]

Are we likely to be eaten by a Grmph?

That seems to be the case. I also suspect that it answers how the "everyone turns SK" scenario Andres suggested for the endgame shows up in the story as well. Bad meat.

That unknown things has to be some kind of food is a known joke and I'm not stupid enough to make such a joke reference when there's more or less random chance of getting lynched.

The interesting thing is this though:

I don't think so. It is probably a schrtroumph. Which is a french smurf.
Well? Are you going to admit?

How did you know that there was something to admit in the first place?

Vote: Darth Feather

[seireikhaan]

I have to say, the killer deserves a thumbs up for that one. Did us all a favor, avoiding a "Vote: Abstain" fiasco.

Vote: Askthepizzaguy

Grar!

[El Barto]

Why is everyone posting stupid oneliners?

[Andres]

And Suddenly, it all happened so fast - Day 1 Conclusion

The survivors were mostly recovering from their hangover. Some stared through the window, at the desolate landscape, dreaming of the old days, which most of them had never known.

Suddenly, one of the survivors started to tell stories about a mysterious food from the past, called pizza.

The survivor became poetic about the wonderful, marvelous, delicious pizza. A few survivors started to dream, hypnotised by the voice of the pizza poet. Their eyes became wet while the poets' words were drawing pictures of delicious pizza's in their minds.

"Pizza pizza,
"lime
"has nothing to with da pizza
"but I'm not good in rhyme
"I'm not a poet
"but a pizzaguy
"it's all I wanted
"look, there a fly
But others became angry.

"Why are you so cruel? You know very well that we will never eat something like that. Raw meat is considered a delicatesse in this world and then you start talking about pizza's we'll never see! Let alone eat! Sadist!"

"But good sir, I deliver pizza's for a living, what nonsense is this about pizza's not existing?"

"Pizza's don't exist! They are just a product of a lively imagination!"

"But good sir, I beg to disagree. Pizza's do exist!"

"Not anymore, they disappeared with the disaster!"

"But we still remember them. They are in our minds and souls and are part of our collective memory. It's not because you can't see them, that they aren't there. I would even go so far that as this moment, you are all staring at one gigantic pizza!"

A few survivors started to salivate. "Pizza? Where? Hungry!" Another one said "Grmph!"

The sceptic survivors started to shake their heads. "You are completely crazy! There is no pizza in this room."

"Behold and see!" Askthepizzaguy said, and he undressed.

Much to the surprise of the survivors, Askthepizzaguy was actually a giant pizza with a talking head attached to it.

"Shouldn't we be careful? This must have happened to him because of the radiation, I don't think it's healthy to eat..."

"Of course pizza's are not healthy!" Pizzaguy said, "but that's not important! The most important bit about pizza's is that they are delicious fantastic food! Superior to everything else you've ever eaten! Take your knives! There are enough slices for everyone! Cut me in pieces and eat me!"

These last words of encouragements tipped the balance for even the most sceptic health freak in this world and soon, the survivors were enjoying the best, and also the only, pizza in this world!"

***

Pizza: 5 (TinCow, Jolt, issaikhaan, Yay!, Askthepizzaguy)

Darth Feather: 3 (Ironside, Kumquat, Rickinator9)
Yay!: 3 (GSC, Zack, Ferret)
El Bart: 2 (Chaotix, Ishmael)
Makrell: 2 (edse, Diana Abnoba)
Ironside: 2 (Choxorn, B-Wing)
jht: 1 (Csargo)
Csargo: 1 (Darth Feather)
Chaotix: 1 (LazyMcCrow)
Diana Abnoba: 1 (HopAlongBunny)
edse: 1 (Makrell)
Kumquat: 1 (El Barto)
Montmorency: 1 (GH)
GH: 1 (Ibn-Khaldun)

Not voting: 5 (BSmith, jht, autolycus Tiaexz, Montmorency)

Alive (29/31):

LazyMcCrow
BSmith
Ferret
Makrell
Darth Feather
jht
B-Wing
Jarema
GeneralHankerchief
El Barto
autolycus
Csargo
Zack
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Rickinator9
Choxorn
Ishmael
HopAlongBunny
issaikhaan
Chaotix
Diana Abnoba
Jolt
TinCow
edse
Kumquat
Tiaexz
Ibn-Khaldun
Ironside
Montmorency

Killed (1).
Abstain

Lynched (1).
Askthepizzaguy

WoG/Suicide

Replaced.

***

It is now night. Night will last for +/- 36 hours. PM's pleace.