Random Thoughts Thread

[Fragony]

Cats have the most odd habits. When I take my morning dump she completily falls in love with me and curls up on my lap.I have no idea why.

[InsaneApache]

Dalston vigilantes are pursuing a campaign of intimidation, violence and gratuitous dismemberment against members of the public they suspect of being behind the ‘creepy clown’ phenomenon.

The smouldering remains of Tommy Tootles, a much loved children’s entertainer, were found all over the place this morning, just yards from where, last Saturday, the actor who plays Mr Tumble was subjected to a savage critique of his performance in the 2015 CBBC pantomime.

Mr Bob Cartwright, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was set upon by a gang of men wielding cricket bats and a frozen leg of lamb as he was passing the Clement Attlee Estate last night.

He told the Mercury: ‘They just came out of nowhere shouting ‘nonce’ and ‘stay away from our kiddies you Grimaldi-esque pervert’. Then they beat the crap out of me and ran away yelling ‘down with the Commedia dell’arte and that’.

‘I wouldn’t care, but I’m not even a clown. I’ve just got big feet.’

We did check, and Mr Cartwright does have really big feet, plus slightly mad hair. But he still insists he is not a clown.

‘I’m not a bloody clown, you tit,’ he said.


Reports of people being beaten up for wearing bow ties are up 30% on the year, as are attacks on people driving really small cars.

Unicycle riders have also been targeted, leaving over 4000 Dalston hipsters with life-threatening injuries, although there are so many excellent reasons to beat up an adult riding a unicycle in a public place that no one is sure whether these assaults are clown-related.

Dalston police have advised anyone with a cold to stay at home because ‘having a red nose during the current coulrophobia-driven orgy of violence could get you a right battering, and no mistake.’

We asked the police if it was acceptable to assault any children’s entertainers at all, but they said ‘No. Only Noel Edmonds. Timmy Mallett at a pinch, but definitely Noel Edmonds.’

https://dalstonmercury.wordpress.com/

[Hooahguy]

Im gonna be an uncle!

[Fragony]

Awesome, just got word that my mates daughter won the thai-box world-championship, again. She wins everyting he needs a bigger shelve. What makes so funny is that she's a really shy and soft-spoken girl

[Hooahguy]

Thats really cool!

[Fragony]

Thats really cool!

Yes it is, it aren't just two world championships she won but also two european ones and a few opens. She wins everything it's crazy. on tops it was her 13th brthday. She's known as hitgirl, real name Lucienna

edit, her mom is coolas well she's the dj https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbmGv9OZ1PQ

[Hooahguy]

So she has accomplished more in 13 years than I have in over 20 years. Gotcha