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Thread: Larry

  1. #1
    In the shadows... Member Vuk's Avatar
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    Default Larry

    Larry the Thief

    Larry was a thief, and not a very good one either. In fact, Larry lived off of prison food and beggar’s findings because he could never steal enough to feed himself. Larry had no noble reasons to be a thief; no starving family or friend’s widow to support. Larry just loved the thrill of thievery, and hated the toil of honest labour. Luckily for him, he lived in a city where the thieves far outnumbered the honest men and women. Rome presented him with unlimited opportunity to steal the wealth of others…and unlimited opportunity to be executed if he was not careful.

    Larry had just been released from prison after he was caught stealing and cooking a wealthy family’s cat. Now he was really in trouble, as he could not count on the free meals he was getting in prison anymore. To make matters worse, the city had started forcing those in prison into the gladiatorial games, so whatever Larry did next, he could not be caught. Luckily for him, he had a good tip from a fellow inmate on a rock solid opportunity.

    The daughter of a wealthy patrician had just died, and her funeral was the day Larry left prison. Her father was a caring man and loved his daughter dearly, so he planned an extremely expensive funeral for her. When the procession reached the forum where she would receive her oration people would be distracted and he could pick their pockets at will. Unfortunately the loot that would accompany her to her burial would still be guarded outside by a few armed men.

    Larry spent his day scoping out the forum and waiting till dusk. After what seemed like days, he finally saw the procession slowly moving toward him through the streets. He hid behind a column and waiting for them to approach. After nearly an hour everyone was assembled inside and the oration began. As Larry crept from the shadows to do his cunning deed, he could not believe that his friend (who was released from prison the same day as him) would not take advantage of this opportunity himself. All these fat, undeserving rich patricians standing around ripe for the picking. It was just as well, because his friend was a powerful and influential criminal, and Larry needed the money far more than he.

    Larry crept up behind a lazy, pompous nobleman and deftly cut his purse strings. Creeping silently behind the crowd, he did this to three more noblemen, filling his sack with more wealth than he had ever possessed. To reach anyone else, he would have to risk braving the light of the torches, and that did not appeal to him. Larry decided to call it a day and walk away with his ill-gotten goods as a young, weeping lady’s gleaming jewelry caught his eye. That he thought must be worth more than all the gold in his sack.
    Silently he slinked up behind her, and with care slipped his fingers around her necklace’s clasp to unfasten it. She turned around and swatted as if shooing an insect away when her eyes met his. She let out an ear splitting shriek and hastily backed away from him. As the entire room trained their attention on Larry, he bound outside with the guards and some of the assembly following him. As the men guarding the goods destine to be buried with the deceased joined the chase, Larry’s friend and a few of his men moved in quietly and made off with the treasure.

    After hours of running and many close-encounters Larry finally lost the guards pursuing him. Luckily for him he had lots of previous practice running from armed men. Larry could not believe that his friend would have betrayed him so and used him as bait. Worse still, Larry had to drop his loot in order to escape the guards. He walked about the bustling city center, dejected and depressed, contemplating the unfairness of life. He would not allow himself to be treated so unfairly! He would not go to bed tonight empty-handed! He would find opportunity of his own!

    A deviate smile split Larry’s face as he caught sight of a blind old man begging alone in a corner. He would have the last laugh this time.
    Hammer, anvil, forge and fire, chase away The Hoofed Liar. Roof and doorway, block and beam, chase The Trickster from our dreams.
    Vigilance is our shield, that protects us from our squalid past. Knowledge is our weapon, with which we carve a path to an enlightened future.

    Everything you need to know about Kadagar_AV:
    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post
    In a racial conflict I'd have no problem popping off some negroes.

  2. #2
    In the shadows... Member Vuk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Larry

    Larry the Legionnaire

    Larry wasn't a warrior. Larry wasn't even brave. He was a thief, not a legionnaire. In fact, that is what got him into this trouble. Larry was caught stealing from a beggar’s cup and was given the choice between fighting in the Coliseum and being fed to wild animals in the Coliseum. For the first time ever in Larry’s life, he opted to fight. Luckily for him though, two days after he completed gladiator school and a day before his first fight, all gladiators in Rome were pressed into the legion to serve the city’s defense. Larry was now Postremus Larimus Stercus, and he was marching North with the legion to prevent the barbarians from crossing the Alps.

    Larry was never a patriotic type, but the thought of a bunch of unwashed mouth-breathers ransacking Rome certainly scared him as much as anyone else. He was happy to see the legion marching off to defeat them…he just wished that he wasn’t going with them. Still though, he received the best training in the world at gladiator school, and had the broken bones to prove it. Why should he, gladiator and legionnaire of Rome fear a bunch of illiterate oafs with over-sized swords and dirty hair? Anyway, Larry always believed in the age-old proverb that when the going got tough, the tough got going. He was sure that in the confusion of battle no one would miss him if he snuck away. Then he could get back to Rome and back to plying his trade.

    Larry had little time to contemplate these thoughts though as an ear-piercing scream rose up from the forest around him. Projectiles flew in from all sides smiting those beside Larry and causing the rest around him to hold their shields above their head and shuffle about in panic, waiting for orders from their commanders. Those orders did not come, however, as most of their commanders had been killed, wounded, or fled. Disarray and panic quickly swept of the legion as the barbarians charged down from the hills, but Larry kept his head. He dived down to his knees and started cupping blood from his fallen comrades in his hand. He covered his face in it and smeared it over his neck and chest before throwing himself on the ground to play dead.

    It worked! The mindless barbarians were outwitted by his clever ploy, and charged into his fleeing comrades without noticing him. Larry fought back a snicker as barbarian after barbarian lept over him without even looking down at their feet. *THUMP* One of the stupid brutes crashed down right onto his face. 'Oh my gods!' Larry thought, 'That stupid savage broke my beautiful nose!'

    Then another crashed down onto him, this time on his chest. Another one planted his foot on his face, then one on his groin, which caused him to lurch forward in pain. The barbarians jumped on him and disarmed him, dragging him off to be put with the rest of the prisoners. Here poor Larry was in chains again, all because a bunch of blood-thirsty savages could not watch their footing!

    Larry’s entire body ached from being trampled by the barbarians as they threw him into a line with other prisoners.

    'Oh well', Larry thought, 'I may be shamed, beaten up, and in chains, but at least I will be getting free food as a prisoner again!'
    Hammer, anvil, forge and fire, chase away The Hoofed Liar. Roof and doorway, block and beam, chase The Trickster from our dreams.
    Vigilance is our shield, that protects us from our squalid past. Knowledge is our weapon, with which we carve a path to an enlightened future.

    Everything you need to know about Kadagar_AV:
    Quote Originally Posted by Kadagar_AV View Post
    In a racial conflict I'd have no problem popping off some negroes.

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