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Thread: Australians, please answer me this...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Australians, please answer me this...

    Can any of you actually play cricket anymore?
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  2. #2
    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    I'm enjoying the turnaround at least that first test was interesting and a much closer one where one team you know will win from day 1.

    It will get tedious if this double header of Ashes Tests goes all one way with no backbone from the underdogs.

    As for Baseball vs Cricket.

    If the best thing about baseball is sitting around with your mates drinking beer and relaxing, then just remember a single cricket test match is the same thing but goes for five days.

    Also if the US played cricket they would have made much better inroads with Pakistan as ally. Heck if you had a top cricketer you could have traded him for Osama in the first year and the whole War on Terror would be a series of cricket matches. The only thing stopping India and Pakistan going to nuclear war is they want to see the outcome of the next seasons cricket.
    Our genes maybe in the basement but it does not stop us chosing our point of view from the top.
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  3. #3
    Formerly Wigferth Ironwall Senior Member Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatinous Cube View Post
    I won't lie, I don't understand Cricket at all. Some day I'll read the Wikipedia article like I did with Rugby, and then I'll get it.

    Just put your weird flat bats down, grab a proper round one, and come to the party man.
    It's not hard - one man hits the ball without the stumps getting hit - the two men run between the stumps - everone else stands around, until someone catches the ball - then they throw it at the stumps.
    "If it wears trousers generally I don't pay attention."

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  4. #4
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatinous Cube View Post
    Just put your weird flat bats down, grab a proper round one, and come to the party man.
    Oh, and bring your own steroids.
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  5. #5
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Dated an Oz girl who swore she was going to get me interested in cricket. Never happened. I'm terrified of any sport that can drag on for multiple days.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

  6. #6
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Cricket is the apex of human sporting events. Two hours of baseball is more boring than 5 days of cricket.
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  7. #7
    Formerly Wigferth Ironwall Senior Member Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    I agree with Idaho.

    Thread over.
    "If it wears trousers generally I don't pay attention."


  8. #8
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Idaho View Post
    Cricket is the apex of human sporting events. Two hours of baseball is more boring than 5 days of cricket.
    Shows what you know. Baseball games usually drag on for at least 3 hours.
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    If I werent playing games Id be killing small animals at a higher rate than I am now - SFTS
    Si je n'étais pas jouer à des jeux que je serais mort de petits animaux à un taux plus élevé que je suis maintenant - Louis VI The Fat

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    Shows what you know. Baseball games usually drag on for at least 3 hours.
    Sorry, I don't count the breaks put in specifically for the adverts.
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  10. #10
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Australians, please answer me this...

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  11. #11
    Needs more flowers Moderator drone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Idaho View Post
    Sorry, I don't count the breaks put in specifically for the adverts.
    Now your ignorance is truly showing. Baseball is the one American sport where breaks aren't artificially added to the game for ads, it offers ample opportunities through normal gameplay. The time of games is actually a hotly debated topic amognst the purists, there have been accusations of team owners dictating playing styles to lengthen the game and thus increase revenue through vending. The Boston-NewYork games a couple seasons back used to routinely go close to 4 hours.

    Edit->
    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony View Post
    The comments section of that video is superb.
    Last edited by drone; 07-22-2013 at 17:16.
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  12. #12
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by drone View Post
    Shows what you know. Baseball games usually drag on for at least 3 hours.
    After about 3 seconds, both sports start to drag on.

  13. #13
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Idaho View Post
    Sorry, I don't count the breaks put in specifically for the adverts.
    Nah. There is darn near TEN(!!) minutes of action in that three hours. The rest is cap-adjusting, dirt kicking, tobacco-spitting, pants adjusting, jock adjusting, practice-swing, stretching, wipe hands on pants, wipe/scratch nose with shoulder, head shaking, head nodding and mound conferencing goodness. All this (and more!) occurs every minute or so. When I watched baseball, the jock-adjust/spit combo was my favourite. Some guys had the moves.
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    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatinous Cube View Post
    Some say you have to be born a Baseball fan.
    No, you mis-heard. It goes "Some say you have to be bored to be a Baseball fan." The strike in the early 90's killed the game for me. Only watched theh All-star game and World Series since then and in the last several years, sometimes not even that.

    Meanwhile, back on the cricket pitch...has anything happened yet?

    Ugh. I'm moving to Melbourne in three weeks, so I guess I'm going to have to learn cricket eventually. Is there any preparations necessary to put one in the proper cricket state of mind? Note that I don't drink or do drugs.
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  15. #15
    Rock, Paper, GOAT Member Monster Champion, Spy Hunter Champion, Navy Battles Champion, Turbo Turtle Champion nl.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    No we can't.

  16. #16
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    I will ask the Aussies sitting next to me at the Kiwi Lodge in Cebu City
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  17. #17
    Summa Rudis Senior Member Catiline's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    Note that I don't drink
    I think you've fallen at the first hurdle of going to a cricket match.
    Quo usque tandem abutere, Catilina, patientia nostra

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  18. #18
    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Catiline View Post
    I think you've fallen at the first hurdle of going to a cricket match.
    It might make socializing difficult in Australia too.

    Coffee is a good substitute for socializing here, but it is probably the opposite drink to have when watching the cricket.
    Our genes maybe in the basement but it does not stop us chosing our point of view from the top.
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  19. #19
    Poll Smoker Senior Member CountArach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Yep beer is the only acceptable beverage at the cricket, unless you've snuck something else in at the bottom of your eski...

    It is still a stupid sport though.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    No, you mis-heard. It goes "Some say you have to be bored to be a Baseball fan." The strike in the early 90's killed the game for me. Only watched theh All-star game and World Series since then and in the last several years, sometimes not even that.

    Meanwhile, back on the cricket pitch...has anything happened yet?

    Ugh. I'm moving to Melbourne in three weeks, so I guess I'm going to have to learn cricket eventually. Is there any preparations necessary to put one in the proper cricket state of mind? Note that I don't drink or do drugs.
    Have a go at playing the game first, then watch a T20 match. Graduate slowly to test cricket.
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  21. #21
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump View Post
    I will ask the Aussies sitting next to me at the Kiwi Lodge in Cebu City
    You've returned? Do tell.


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  22. #22
    Headless Senior Member Pannonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    My introduction to cricket was the West Indies versus England, so violence was always a legitimate and expected part of cricket.

    Here's an earlier example of fast bowling. Note that in cricket if the batsman's hit, the batsman can either continue through the mounting bruises and/or broken bones, or he can retire through injury and leave his team short. The fielding team is not penalised in any way for hitting the batsman.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8tFgtzeA2M

    Here's an even earlier example. Bert Oldfield staggers away after being hit on the temple, and afterwards blames only himself for missing the ball with his bat. After Harold Larwood had hit the Australian captain Bill Woodfull on the heart, the England captain Douglas Jardine pointedly called out "Well bowled Harold". Towards the end of the Test series, Don Bradman experimented by retreating further and further away from the stumps, and found Larwood following him with the ball, with the obvious intent of aiming at the batsman and not the wicket. Larwood eventually scored a hit on the famously slippery Bradman.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwL1VOBG6Vo

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  23. #23
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    The best example of aggressive bowling was this west Indian pace attack against England. The series was against a backdrop of racial tension in London, and an apartheid era England captain who said he was going to make them "grovel". This was "whispering death" Holding's reply https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-f5...e_gdata_player
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  24. #24
    Headless Senior Member Pannonian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Nowadays he's regarded as a joke by both English and Australians alike. However, once upon a time the Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson was seen as one of the most fearsome in world cricket. Here he is, sending three South Africans to the pavilion and two to the hospital.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9hcZWVb7PI

  25. #25
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Australians, please answer me this...

    Quote Originally Posted by Pannonian View Post
    Nowadays he's regarded as a joke by both English and Australians alike. However, once upon a time the Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson was seen as one of the most fearsome in world cricket. Here he is, sending three South Africans to the pavilion and two to the hospital.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9hcZWVb7PI
    "He bowls it to the left,
    He bowls it to the right,
    That Mitchell Johnson,
    He bowls a lot of s****"
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

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